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strugglebus , 14 Oct 2020

It feels like nothing is working... any suggestions/shared-pity?

I haven't been active on here for a bit, and since it seems like everything else I'm doing is failing, I'll try here. I recently got the Habit Aware bracelet that is made specifically for skin-pickers and hair-pullers (and maybe even nose-pickers or thumb-suckers, but I digress). It is pretty neat- all you do is link it to your phone, train it by doing the behavior for 30 seconds, and then you're all set. It buzzes whenever you repeat the behavior and there's a button on the side where you can log in picking episodes. I also just got on a new medication. It's meant for opioid addicts or alcoholics, but there has been some evidence of helping out with picking urges since this is basically and addiction. I also was in a good spot to take a break with my therapist while she went on maternity leave just to see how I would function by myself. I was super excited for all three- I thought I was finally going to turn the corner. But I haven't. And now I doubt I ever will. Regardless of the bracelet buzzing, I still pick. It could be buzzing on and off for thirty minutes and I still can't use that as a motive to lower my hand. Now when I pick, I'm not as guilty afterwards for some reason, which may be a good and bad thing. It's good because I'm not such a Debbie Downer all the damn time, but bad because now I don't recognize the severity of me giving in to the urges and treating it as something "normal" that's bound to happen. I just don't care at all sometimes, and that worries and saddens me. I just don't know what to do. I cannot keep myself accountable- I keep feeling like I've already done the best I can, so there is no point in giving a little more. Does anyone have any advice for how to regain motivation or is anyone else going through the same thing now? I would love to hear from someone other than my own, twisted little mind. Thanks.

5 Answers
RoseGoldGal
October 16, 2020

Hi,

I too am still struggling with picking after many attempts to stop. The reason we’re picking is because of anxiety. It creates tension in the body that needs to be released somehow. It’s not really effective to address the picking if the anxiety isn’t addressed. I even feel that if the anxiety is halted we would just “miraculously” stop picking as the tension wouldn’t exist anymore. Now the question is— how on this earth do we fix anxiety??

Jaxygirl
November 18, 2020

Hi! I’ve been suffering from skin popping/squeezing for maybe 10ish years. It sucks so freaking bad. It is such an incredible heavy weight on my shoulders. I do it to relieve stress, and also I just love when you see/hear the pop. Whether it’s a white head, a filled pore, etc. I’m literally ruining my skin. I’ve tried to stop in the past but haven’t fully been successful. Which makes it harder to have hope for the future. I have white scars that I think will eventually go away (they have in the past) but they take a long time. So it’s embarrassing. It’s so easy to think, ok I’m done, but then in the moment it’s so unbelievably hard. sometimes I try to think , if I pick more I’ll make it worse long term and I DONT WANT THAT. And I can live with how it is if I stop now. That sometimes motivates me to stop but in moment of weakness or stress it’s hard! Sometimes I try to start the day and NOT LOOK at all (mostly chest, face, shoulders, back). That’s always been the most successful when I don’t look or feel, because then I don’t know what’s there to squeeze. It was way when I lived in a cold climate so I’d wear turtle necks but now I’m in a hot climate!
I’m hoping that talking about this with others will help me.

slave
May 16, 2024

It’s an addiction. I pick my tongue to relax. It’s soothing. It hurts so good and I cannot stop. My tongue has to be smooth when I stop. I enjoy the feeling of the skin ripping off my tongue. I don’t know why but it feels painfully good. It has been a year of battling to try stop. I did try something new which helped. I tore off a small piece of paper towel and wrapped my tongue in it. It stopped the urge, but as soon as I removed it the next day…I could feel where it was healing and ripped it open again. The liquid inside came out and the skin ripped evenly off the top. I’m gonna keep trying to stop. It’s so relaxing for me. I’m sure it’s an adrenaline rush of dopamine. Praying for everyone to be delivered from this demon.🙏🏾

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