Termination

You as a client, are my guest and I am your host for this website. We invite you for online therapy at a cost, much less than face to face therapy. Online therapy provides us convenience and comfort of working from home/office at our pace. It keeps secrecy and privacy of your identity. We engage in therapy with a welcome note and later start working on a questionnaire. You send me your reply and we start exchanging e mails - containing questions, answers and, reflections. You share your emotional data with me that might not be disclosed before. We work hard on your stories and aspirations. We try to do justice to the cause of understanding, what is there lying beneath your picking. You then try to apply our newly found knowledge in your day to day life. It helps you become aware of what goes on when you pick. Instead of wasting time in being guilty, you learn to explore the possible unrest and the conflicts responsible for your unrest. You learn to understand a presence of whirlpool of mixed emotions. You come to know that your confused state is because of mixture of "I want this" and "I do not want that". You were in a habit of 1) wishing something, which is not there in another person/situation/ inside yourself and 2) disliking / hating what is there in another person/situation/ with you. We work on certain existential realities. Eventually, you start a process of upgrading yourself from a dependent helpless manipulative emotional unrealistic child with unreasonable wishes (a part within you) and try to become a mature rational realistic and down-to-earth "emotionally independent adult". You start accepting what you are now, what you had in past, what you have right now. You start looking at your close ones with same attitude. That lessens the internal tussle of opposite wishes/emotions. This whole long drawn out process helps you become comfortable with yourself and with your close ones. You now don't need extra unnecessary food/cloths, extra hard activities, weed to smoke and, "picking" to feel good. You feel good for no reason. You find never ending fountain of cool comfortable alertness inside your own self. You are happy with chosen people and in your own company. You do not feel the need to cling to past or worry about future. You start living in present and make most of what you have, right now. You try to balance eating-working-talking-relaxing. You now develop a habit of spending some time for yourself in a constructive way. You are not afraid of visiting deep dark corners of your mind. This essentially almost stops your need to pick. You are happy with yourself. You are comfortable with close ones; you are settled in your new found identity. You see your future bright. You have a master key to live happily. I let you know that our work is about to finish and you are on your own. Its time to say goodbye to each other. We had been bonded for many weeks sometimes many months and our journey is about to end. I write to you - Do you have anything left to work upon? Do you wish to ask me anything? I feel eager to know how you are feeling. This is called what pre-termination session is. I get variety of experiences in a process of ending my contract with my clients. Majority are happy and soft and sure of themselves with new found confidence. They send me their testimonials. Their kind words bring tears in my eyes. I tell them that your therapist is with you in your heart and head, for 24 hours now. She will be there whenever you need her. In case, you need me, send e-mail anytime. I offer them my email id to send me news about their marriage, birth of a baby, new job, new home etc. Some are afraid to be on their own. I continue working for one or two more sessions with a gap in between, to help them feel that I am there and haven't just evaporated without notice. My client takes her own time to be on her own and says goodbye in her own way. Some just stop sending mail. They feel that they are not supposed to contact me. I send them mail saying it was a pre-termination notice. You are expected to respond and choose your time to say proper goodbye. Client explains her situation and we terminate our work on right time. When I terminate my work with a particular client on a particular day, I move file of that person into a folder of completed work and feel good about our joint work. I express my gratitude to God in bestowing an art and skill and knowledge to help those in need. I then celebrate that happiness by going out for a dinner with whole of my family or watching a sports event with them. That balances my family life and professional life. I cannot say anything to anybody and explain about a smile on my face. Therapist is essentially a loner. I have learned to digest disappointment at premature discontinuation and satisfaction at successful termination as life's unpredictable and natural events. Total surrender to Almighty gives that strength to see His hands controlling everything, He has created.