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stickgal , 27 May 2010

Had a 'Bad Day'?

Weve all had them; good days and not such good ones: With DTM of course, this can be defined by how much we have indulged, or 'caught' ourselves skin picking. Im wondering what anyone does when they do realise that although they may be feeling ok about themselves today, it can all come crashing down with just one slip of the hand, or lack of concentration...? What consitutes a 'Bad Day' for you? Was there a trigger, or worse still, none? Where do you go from here....? Did you get 'caught out' by someone, or had a bad comment thrown your way? Regardless of all these triggers and issues, I personally feel a wide range of feelings surrounding each day living with DTM...from guilt & self loathing, to temporary triumph when I find I have left myself alone. (I call it temporary bc it soon changes when Ive indulged!) But nevertheless mostly the emotions surrounding the DTM cycle are negative, and thats why I thought a 'Bad Day' topic may be good. I hope this helps, and we can lift each other out of bad days together.......
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jo7124
May 27, 2010
Afew months ago I noticed my KP on my upper arms was calmer,it still had the chicken skin appearance very faintly ,but the spots and itching that had been there too had gone,I was .....not even sure what word to use here,excited doesnt seem enough.I was giddy!I kept diving in the bathroom and looking at my arms ,studying them even and it was such a happy feeling I had inside I cant tell ya!I have hated my KP for years,I am always picking at my arms and trying different things to get rid of it but then this happened.It lasted a couple of weeks and then my arms were back to their normal horrible self.I have been trying ever since to find out what I was doing to make them get so good,its proving quite difficult!!Anyway they were some of my good days and when it was happening ,I was feeling on cloud nine,positive,strong,happy,good about myself and I felt a huge weight off my shoulders,because I thought all my efforts of trying things out had paid off and I had found something that had made a difference finally. Last night I picked for a long time on my face,arms and upper back,made a real mess,I was alone because my partner had gone away but I felt discusting and my plans of pampering,exercise,studying,eating well ,while my partner was away,became uninteresting.I spend alot of time on my own currently and I often feel like this is how my life is always going to be,hiding away,avoiding social events.Today I didnt feel any better,I have stayed away from the mirror,but I havent been out of the house,I havent made any effort with myself,no exercise done,just had a day where its just drifted along without acheiving anything,with negative thoughts going through my head all day,having BDD,it seems when I pick at my skin and feel bad,it makes me focus on all my other bits I hate,then everything seems to be overwhelming ,thats when I see myself as a total mis-fit.I think a bad day for me is ultimately a lonely day,I feel so bad and gross when I have picked ,that I need to be alone,fighting my thoughts,trying to turn them into positive gentle ones,but its hard because although I hide away,its also a time when I could hugely do with a hug or reasurrance.Well having no-one to talk to or grab a hug from right now,talking about my bad days and remembering my good days,has helped get it off my chest alittle!J
stickgal
May 27, 2010
hey I know what you mean about how youre feeling today....I guess thats why I posted the topic.....I too had a real bad day today. Ripped myself to pieces to try to stop a panic attack....but then logged on here to try to get myself out of it. It has helped. I dunno if the resounds with you at all, but I find that in particular when Im alone, or facing something difficult, (even if its being alone), then instead of being in the moment with all the negativity, I pick. I of course despise myslf after, but its a relief to feel bad about something, even if its the picking than to feel bad and not know why. I know what you mean about the BDD too; quite often if I see bits that I want to slice off, I find the DTM takes over as a poor substitue. And yes, I then look how I feel---- Disfigured. I have a practical possible solution for your KP tho, and its one that worked for me....oily fish 3 times a week, even if its tinned. Now i hate fish (bluergh) but I tried it to cure the KP. It took around 3 weeks to help, but lasted for months. As soon as it started to come back, I just hit the mackeral again for a few days, and it got better. I dont know if this a solution, but it does seem to work for me. As for how you feel about about last night/today.... You are not perfect, and the DTM may be a reaction to this. BUT, you may not know why you do this, and feel badly that you do, but maybe try being kinder to yourself, even just for today. Have a gentle bath, listen to something nice on the ipod, make your fave dinner, and please, please, forgive yourself for having a bad night. Its not your fault, its just the way you dealt with whatever (loneliness?) last night. 'They' are healing as you read this, so please give yourself a break, and just take today as it comes...... And heres that HUG you you asked for x
jo7124
May 27, 2010
Hi ,I love tinned mackerel and eat it weekly,I cant wait to move back to the uk to get my fav brand lol,I do think it helps alittle too.Ive also been oil pulling with coconut oil,gently detoxing.I just find my body is sluggish at ridding toxins.I do think the oil pullings working,because my skin...face,neck,back,arms have been worse and I think its pushing all the toxins out,well I hope thats whats happening and that it will ease alittle with time!Yes what you say about facing something difficult(even if its being alone)and picking ,instead of being in the moment ,really does makes sense.Thanks for your kind words and the hug, I really do feel much better,damn I miss a bath but I will have a nice shower and get the clean pj's on!I hope your feeling much better.Tomorrow is a fresh new day for us both hey! Jo x
stickgal
May 27, 2010
Id be interested to know what 'oil pulling' is.... can you post on here so I can possiblly try it too? Hope your move back to the UK goes well, and is as smooth as it can be.
jo7124
May 27, 2010
Hi There, Sure heres a very good website http://www.coconutresearchcenter.org/article%20oil%20pulling.htm. At the bottom of the page is Dr Bruce Fife's interviews that can be listened to too.Can be done with any oil,sesame oil is meant to be very good but since reading up alot about coconut oil and all its benefits,im a coconut oil addict!(it tastes better too)If after looking at the website you want anymore info please let me know,if you try the oil pulling ,Id love to hear how you get on with it.www.coconoil.com is a good brand.I have noticed lots of things happening,my teeth are whiter for sure,my mouth is fresher,my head is clearer,going to sleep at night is easier,more energy.Im hoping as I continue hormone problems will ease,then I really will hooked!My partner did it for afew weeks,he has terrible sinus problems,on doing the pulling he kept saying he had headache,then one morning he did his nose blowing and well I wont go into detail but his headache was gone! If only I can just behave with my skin,the move would be welcome!Chat again I hope!

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