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just_my_view
For all of you that are unhappy with doctors care, doctors don’t care much when their patients don’t care much. That’s why doctors aren’t involved much when people hurt themself. For example, doctors aren’t working to cure alcoholics. It is up to people to want to help themself and find the right kind of support. That is true for drug users and anything like that. For sure your doctor should be aware of your problems, even what you do to yourself, because only your doctor should prescribe medicines, etc., if you need it. And if they don’t know you did it to yourself they can’t give you suggestions about what help is out there, if there is anything. People are responsible for doing the right things for their bodies. Doctors take an oath to do no harm. So should everyone. No wonder when a patient comes to them with horrible sores on their body or scars from it that they don’t say anything. Making sores on your body anywhere is a bad habit and it is not healthy. Habits are hard to break but they can be and that is what anyone with a bad habit should do, break it. If they can’t they are not trying hard enough. If you have done this to yourself for a long time, can you really and truely say you have done all you can to break the bad habit?
June 02, 2010
How unempathetic?
Of course, your frustration at what us 'DM' ers 'do to ourselves is very apparent.
Do you not consider that we, ourselves feel exactly that?
We do not choose to engage in this behaviour, and believe me, I would suspect that the greater amount of those with Dermotillomania ( or alcholism, or drug abuse, or cutting.........I could go on) do not wish it to be part of our lives.
If offered a 'cure all', regardless of what mountains we would need to climb I am sure that a majority of us would accept it.
You show me the mountain - I will personally happily climb it if the DM was wiped out of my life forever.
EMPATHY however, and non-judgement ARE choices that each one of us can make.
I have not judged your opinion; simply replied from a place where I can understand the frustration that comes with DM, and not simply 'guess' at an answer, and by doing so, throw sticks and stones at that of which I do not understand.
I hope you can look inside, at your own little quirks and 'habits' and first identify what they are, where they came from and be honest with yourself enough to recognise when they are not useful, or acceptable on the greater part.
On here, as with other support communities we have all done this, and for my part, I feel I have an honesty with myself for accepting, and challenging my own quirks. I think for this reason, I am brave and so are the others on here.
June 03, 2010
kmj I agree to some extent with what you say. No one can cure an alcoholic-not even an alcoholic. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. It is a disease of the brain (caused by prolonged excessive alcohol use) that never goes away. A sober alcoholic is said to be in recovery. I feel we need to be more open with health care professionals but I don't think you understand the shame that skin pickers, drug users, alcoholics, etc. feel (unless you are one and can shed some light). What I disagree with you on is the word "habit." A habit is something that a person does routinely and may have difficulty with but can walk away from it or learn themselves to deal with. A good self help book and good friends for accountability can help. But the above things are actually addictions-very different. CSP, OCD, anxiety disorders, ADHD, etc. They are neurochemical diseases of the brain. Therapies can help retrain the brain but it takes time and considerable work. For some, this work has to continue for the lifetime because relapse is always there. This can be difficult when one is a parent, with a full time job and in school. It takes constant, conscious effort that is easily derailed by well, being a parent, having a full time job, in school etc. Where others can come home, do some chores and watch TV or whatever, normal brains, what we do makes no sense. But once someone like me has downtime, my anxiety has gotten the best of me well before then. I do believe that it is my responsibility to make changes and seek help. I believe that doctors and therapists are not responsible to me to "fix this." I also understand how those with PhD behind their name are considered to be experts and people naturally put their trust in them and can feel defeated and disappointed and even more alone when an interaction with a doctor of any kind leads to nothing. Younger sufferers of this may not know where else to turn and need guidance. Your response was helpful in some manner, we do need to take responsibility for our own health. Just be cautious and try to be understanding. Do you skin pick, abuse alcohol, drugs, suffer with anxiety, depression, other forms of OCD? Are you a doctor? Just curious. If you are not a skin picker, why did you comment on this sight? If you are a recovered skin picker, what worked? I'm sure there are many people who pick at blemishes but walk away when that blemish is clear. There is a huge difference.
June 03, 2010
kmj This is a P.S. to my previous comment. Remember, this in not simply a habit. I feel I need to stress that. Your last two sentences are very insensitive. Learn more before you write such things. You obviously have no idea what this is all about.