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I've been skin picking since I was one and I'm now 15
Hi I'm Gabriella, I'm a junior in high school and i actively participate in drama musical theatre I have a job and I go to church. I'm currently starting a bible study at my house and I'll be taking several AP classes this year. Needless to say I'm a busy person, but it's really hard to be so busy and not have people ask questions about my arms and legs. My mother is horrible about it to me, granted she's trying the whole tough love thing I bet, but honestly it tears me apart. I've maybe stopped a total of like a year my whole life. I look horrible, I hide my legs from people all the time. Every year it's a huge argument with my mother whether or not I'll be wearing shorts that summer, and we've just recently moved to Florida a year ago. honestly sometimes I feel like just quitting, because I have absolutely no support (but I have many judgmental glances). It's so hard to be a fifteen year old girl with this.
July 22, 2010
Hi Gabriella! My name is Brenda and I understand how you feel. I'm 24 and have been picking at my face since I was 17.
In regards to your mom: Unfortunately at times, my mother isn't so supportive either. It's simply because our mothers are frustrated with our destructive behavior. They don't understand it. And when they say "Just stop picking!" - They don't realize that it's easier said than done. But after all, we will always be our mothers "little girls" and it kills them to think that we are hurting ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally. However, i personally believe that we have a chemical embalace. (Sigh...ugh, I know). Not only is this idea tough for us to grasp, but also tough for those who love us, for example, our mothers. So... in a desperate attempt to get through to us, we get yelled at... by those who simply love us and don't understand! But I do want to emphasize, you're not alone. My mom is also guilty of putting me down....it feels horrible.. to feel unsupported... but just remember, deep down they DO support us, and are mainly frustrated with our addiction, and they don't know the right way to help make a difference anymore. So let's be the bigger person and try our hardest not to hold it against them, after all grudges only create more stress, and that's the last thing we need!
In regards to wanting to give up: I've been there... plenty of times...wanting to throw in the towel and just quit life. Most days I believe this picking addiction is bigger than me, I think I can't beat it, so why even try anymore, right? Well...even when we're emotionally beaten down, we have to keep going. People care about us, even when we don't even care about ourselves some days. I can tell you're a smart girl, (not only because you take AP classes), but because you're on this site, reaching out for help and support. I support you. You're not alone.
In regards to wearing shorts: You wear whatever makes you comfortable! You deserve the freedom of wearing what makes you feel good. Over the past couple years, I finally learned that it's easier to be honest with those who question you about your skin. I've spent years trying to hide my issue, lieing to people who asked me "what happened to your face?" (My excuses used to get really creative... hah) But now, I'm honest with people. I tell them, I have CSP. Educate those who ask. And before you know it, you have a support group vs. those who glance at you weirdly. It's going to be hard at first, admitting your issue, but it gets easier the more you open up.
I like to remind myself of my favorite Beatles song: "Let It Be" ... it's an incredible song, "When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be."
I interpret the lyrics "Let it Be" as a reminder to leave my skin alone... let it be.
Things that have helped my skin heal is Palmer's Cocoa Butter, especially Palmer's Skin Therapy Oil, it's about $10 at CVS, Walgreens, Rite Aid, grocery stores. Even getting nails put on, it makes it much harder to pick at skin.
I hope my response helped. I support you.
-- Brenda
July 22, 2010
Hi Gabriella! My name is Brenda and I understand how you feel. I'm 24 and have been picking at my face since I was 17.
In regards to your mom: Unfortunately at times, my mother isn't so supportive either. It's simply because our mothers are frustrated with our destructive behavior. They don't understand it. And when they say "Just stop picking!" - They don't realize that it's easier said than done. But after all, we will always be our mothers "little girls" and it kills them to think that we are hurting ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally. However, i personally believe that we have a chemical embalace. (Sigh...ugh, I know). Not only is this idea tough for us to grasp, but also tough for those who love us, for example, our mothers. So... in a desperate attempt to get through to us, we get yelled at... by those who simply love us and don't understand! But I do want to emphasize, you're not alone. My mom is also guilty of putting me down....it feels horrible.. to feel unsupported... but just remember, deep down they DO support us, and are mainly frustrated with our addiction, and they don't know the right way to help make a difference anymore. So let's be the bigger person and try our hardest not to hold it against them, after all grudges only create more stress, and that's the last thing we need!
In regards to wanting to give up: I've been there... plenty of times...wanting to throw in the towel and just quit life. Most days I believe this picking addiction is bigger than me, I think I can't beat it, so why even try anymore, right? Well...even when we're emotionally beaten down, we have to keep going. People care about us, even when we don't even care about ourselves some days. I can tell you're a smart girl, (not only because you take AP classes), but because you're on this site, reaching out for help and support. I support you. You're not alone.
In regards to wearing shorts: You wear whatever makes you comfortable! You deserve the freedom of wearing what makes you feel good. Over the past couple years, I finally learned that it's easier to be honest with those who question you about your skin. I've spent years trying to hide my issue, lieing to people who asked me "what happened to your face?" (My excuses used to get really creative... hah) But now, I'm honest with people. I tell them, I have CSP. Educate those who ask. And before you know it, you have a support group vs. those who glance at you weirdly. It's going to be hard at first, admitting your issue, but it gets easier the more you open up.
I like to remind myself of my favorite Beatles song: "Let It Be" ... it's an incredible song, "When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be."
I interpret the lyrics "Let it Be" as a reminder to leave my skin alone... let it be.
Things that have helped my skin heal is Palmer's Cocoa Butter, especially Palmer's Skin Therapy Oil, it's about $10 at CVS, Walgreens, Rite Aid, grocery stores. Even getting nails put on, it makes it much harder to pick at skin.
I hope my response helped. I support you.
-- Brenda
July 25, 2010
I know how you feel. My bf knows about my problem and just the other day I was complaining about how hot it was and he told me to wear shorts instead of jeans all the time. I was like umm I can't, look at my legs! He's like well quit picking!! Then we argued about it and he told me that it was a self-control issue and that I choose to pick. Grrrr.... I was so pissed. My mom was also always yelling at me when I was little to stop picking.