Embarrassed Breast Picker

Same thing here, and I'm married and too embarrased to show my husband my breasts. Sure of course he knows they're there and he's seen them. Truly it's like, why am I hiding something he knows about. But the truth is I don't feel sexy or attractive any more. What makes it feel even worse for me is that I had a breast job about 20 years ago (which now that I'm unemployed and in no way can afford the plastic surgery to "fix" my breasts which have not only turned rock hard and immobile and painful, but the very surgery I had to draw attention to my breasts at a time when I was mostly blemish-free and extremely sexual and getting work based on my body,..I was a character model and did ads for magazines, comic books, rag mags, MTV,...some good stuff)....well now, not only can I not do this work because I'm too old, but the very things I wanted to emphasize that were a large part of who I felt I was and how I expressed myself,...are now covered in permanent, disgusting, large, unsightly scars. I used to proudly wear lingerie as well as model it, and now I'm 40 pounds overweight with hard breasts that I cannot show off,...but they used to be a part of my sexuality and expression,....now they turn me off, and the whole scarring thing all together turns my husband off. He met me at my peak,...and watched me just roll into this pit of embarassment and self-loathing. I'm not much of an inspiration, I realize,....but it feels good in this odd way to know I'm not alone in this.....you're not alone in this.....WE are not alone in what we do.