Little gold treasures, Extream picking inside my ears.

Hello, I'm Anthony. I have a serious problem when it comes to messing with my ears.I always feel like theirs something in them. Its become a horrible ritual. I always try and out do the size of the piece of earwax, scab, skin, that I just pulled out. It started with a Q Tip. I stuck one in too far one day and saw nothing but yellow. I was discusted yet amazed at the same time. I instantly thought how much more stuff is in their. My mother always said we have over active ears. And use to put something in them to break up the wax when I was younger. So right away that feeling of dirty started to take over. My ears are over active so their producing more than normal wax, I have to get it out of their. I use to spend a lot of time in the bathroom going number 2. I would try to relieve myself but it would take hrs. So to pass the time I picked. I hated using Q Tips because of all the bad things I heard. So I started to build my own tools to find my little treasures. The one I've come to live by is The thing that dentists use to scrape plaque off your teeth. Its a metal hook thingy. Well I filed the tip so it wasnt as long. I left the inside sharp to scrape against the inner walls of my ear. I use to get infections a lot. At one point I popped something in my ear that made my nose run clear liquid. Just to make sure it wasnt a cowinkeydink I did the other in the same spot and sure enough, splash. I no longer get a huge pain when I move into my canal. I know how to navigate to almost every little spot in their. If you rub certian parts of your ear with the pick it opens up a whole nother part of your ear. I've gotten tooth aches, head aches, swollen neck, cheeks, All from picking. I keep lying to myself to fullfill the glory it gives me that nothing bad is going to come from this. It would of already happend. Even though I've read theirs hairs inside thier that get removed and die leading to earing loss. Yet I still Pick./ Itch / Hunt. I never realized untill not to long ago that I pick my ears to cope with issues. If something is bothering me Off to the bathroom I go. I use to save my biggest pcs. But my girlfriend would scream at me you cant save that. So I secretly started a little collection. I've pulled out pcs that I think are dry wax in the shape of my inner ear. I'm talking a casting of the inside. You can see the round hole and all. But mostly big patches of stuff. I think it could be dead skin that my ear shed to rebuild new ones. I'm not sure if the ear indeed does that. But Were talking a goood half inch and bigger. Each time I have to roll it between my fingers then pinch it cutting it with my thumb nail. Then I throw it out. Some of the differnt types of things have been pure wax, to sandy wax,. to flaky wax, ot scabs. The weird thing is when I'm picking I can feel the wax build up on my fore finger and thumb holding the pic. I reach parts of my ear that feel sooooo gooooodddddddd to touch I cant begin to expain. Its a lot like sex. I mean its somewhat like sex, While picking I hit places that feel goood but tell me your close to a really good feeling spot. The feeling guides me to that sweet itch or spot where pure uforia. Like I said I spent a lot of time in the bathroom trying to poop I bleed a lot from my rectum. So I;m not sure if that has something to do with my ears or not. But I've pretty much mastered pooping. Its all about breathing and rocking. I dont strain much anymore. I even have my girlfriend doing it now picking her ears. I got one of those little plastic pcs with a little cup on the end that doctors shove down your ear. I can push that thing all the way in. I'm scared to death to hit my eardrum and pop it. I know I've hit it in the past but being I was going very slow prospecting LOL I backed away really quick. Thats another thing I use to get the pick stuck in my ear cause anway I would turn it would kill me. I get lost in thought I'm talking hrs at a time sometimes. It controlls a huge part of my life. I really would like to stop. So I can hear when I'm older. I'm only 31 now and would like to hear when I'm older. I've been really carefull stickng to just the very inner ear. But latley I dont know whats up. I mean I'm pushing things out of the way to get to another area of my ear now. It almost feels like I;m touching my vocal cords. I 've felt my temple some how. I dont get why I do this. I use to be additcted to pain pills. I think thats when it started. But Ive been sober for 3 years now. Any advice.