scarred exterior, seized within

i have never spoken a single word about my detrimental compulsions, and i am seeking comfort and advice from others who can relate. i prefer to pick at my arms, chest and legs rather my face. i will sit on my bathroom sink for hours on end, though it seems to be only a few moments, and jab away at my flesh. it sounds so vulgar and inhumane but it has been eating away at me for about five years now. that's five summers not going to the lake or beach. five summers wearing pants and long sleeved shirts, five summers of embarrassment and suffrage. i think its time to make a change.