an 18 year old. Depressed yet Hopeful

Im 18. Im female. When i was younger i had beautiful porcelien skin, people would remark on how gorgeous my complexion was. At about 15, i noticed blackheads around my nose and chin. Since 15 ive been picking at my chin and it has not seen daylight since then. My cheeks, once untouched and no signs of zits became a target for my hands. I pick most at the night or when i arrive home from school, take a quick shower and stare into the mirror. Im a master at covering up my imperfections. Ive learned how to use my makeup - light liquid foundation for the red, scabby areas and darker foundation over it. This has made my condition worse. I think people here can relate to me in that, WE are perfectionists. Such a small imperfection is a target, it is constantly in the back of our minds. I experience the trance when i start picking. I have began using tweezers, the backs of earings, pins and my fingers to dig out anything. I will tell myself, "just this one thing, than i will step away from the mirror" wrong, i pick to the point of my enitire face is red. After this is over I become anxious and go into a worldwind of depression. I realize i have decreased my attractiveness as well as my self esteem. I pick about every two days. My picking is not to noticable but its been getting worse with the stress of graduation, college decisions, prom, birthday's, etc. The very events i need to look flawless for. I need suppport, im too young and live is to short to be feeling this way about myself. i look at others with flawless skin in envy, this makes me pick more. Today i will not pick, join me.