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CattiBre , 09 Aug 2011

Security Blanket

I haven't written or read the forums in quite a while I will admit, but I thought it was about time to get back on the forums and see what is new. My reason for reading through what others wrote is due to the fact that I have come to realize my picking habits have gotten worse over the past few months. When I had initially become part of the SkinPick forum, I had admitted that I had a problem and wanted to fix it - I grew busy with daily life, and along with it the stresses and anxieties of daily problems, eventually I stopped reading the forums and started picking again. So here I am. I was in the car today and I began to pick away at different scars and imperfections, anything my fingers found to keep busy, and keep my mind at bay. It was then I realized part of the reason I pick. Its like a security blanket for me. As a child has a favored blanket or soother or toy that calms them when they are uncomfortable of scared, I have skin picking. When I am stressed out of my mind, my fingers feel their way to a scab or scar, or pimple that can be picked at, and because I have done it for sooo long, now it is just second nature, a lot of the time now, I pick out of habit. It is a terrible habit, and I know that, but I do it regardless. Anyways, most of this is just me rambling on, but if any of you who read this have any thoughts or input, or even suggestions that would help me out of this habit, please please please, feel free to comment away! Thanks for listening! I am determined to stop. CattiBre
9 Answers
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lea14
August 10, 2011
I guess for you it all starts with you touching your face. When you are at home maybe coat your face thick in aloe vera or a safe face mask that you can leave on for a while because then you wont want to be touching your face all of the time. Thats what I do. I know what you mean by second nature but this way at least you will start to get a bit of a shock when you touch your face - similar to putting yucky tasting stuff on your nails if you are a biter. And when you go out if you wear makeup why not make an extra effort with it and get your foundation perfect, that way you wont want to touch it and ruin it. At least those things might help with the touching of the face, not going to the mirror and squeezing is the next step that will be harder to combat. You can always where gloves around the house (or even out if its cold) and that should minimise the touching too. Hope this helps.
Realitysucks
August 12, 2011
Whats hard is living with people. This means the urge to just get that one little blackhead has to be put off until being alone. Then when that happens, it's just so hard to stop. I have a hard time avoiding mirrors. I have a pretty large house, 5 bathrooms that all have counter to ceiling mirrors, 5 bedrooms that all have mirrored closets, mirrors in all but 3 rooms - so I tend to stay in those rooms. Lately I have been taking pictures of the damage I have caused. I have yet to download them or even keep them on the memory card longer than 5mins, so much shame and embaressment....but I find taking the pictures and looking at them, even for a limited few minutes on the screen engaves it into my mind so when I do start to do it, the realization of the damage I am causing is right there in my mind. Ugh. I just wish I could stop, never again do it, live with the scars I have and never create another - but I am fearful if I see a spot and don't get it, that it will get bigger, get worse, swollen etc and cause just as much grief. :( I hate it.
CattiBre
August 12, 2011
I know exactly what you are feeling. I live with my boyfriend, and several other people in the house. I hate waking up in the morning, and walking into the bathroom only to find that I have a huge white head, or black head staring back at me. I can't help but get it right away, because I don't want anyone else to see it. I have had acne since about grade 5 and its gotten better over the years, but it certainly hasn't gone away. What is most frustrating is trying to find the right product to use to help it go away; if I use the wrong type of soap or body wash, or face wash, I get a break out that lasts weeks, and nothing helps it go away. I feel completely helpless, and worse, like I am still going through adolescents. All I want is to feel normal, to look in the mirror and not find something to pick at, not have such a terrible outlook on myself. Anyways, it does feel good to be part of a community that understands how I feel and what I am going through.
Realitysucks
August 12, 2011
It is just a miserable feeling isn't it...ugh. Right now I had the smallest little spot under my eye, of course I just couldn't leave it alone, and it ending up being much larger. It scabbed over which to me, was great - but when the scab came off left a large depressed scar :( Not much you can do to fill in a depressed scar without looking like it is caked full of make-up so I have been avoiding everything, from friends/ family - you name it, I have cancelled it, found reasons to stay home etc. Now I am stuck in that trend of staring at the assortment of products I have like a drugstore counter, trying to figure out what to put on it to make it fill in, atleast a little bit. I swear something worked the other week but given I go from one product to the next, to the next - I have no idea which one actually caused a slight improvement. I bought a derma roller after reading up on them and that atleast creates a new injury, so it continues to scab over which really looks a heck of a lot better than a depressed scar I have no way to hide :( Argh, I make myself so angry that I do this. Any products you use that you recommend to increase collegen production or make-up to cover up scars?
CattiBre
August 15, 2011
To be honest, I have yet to find that magical, amazing product that gets rid of the scars on my face, but I do suggest talking to a pharmacist or your doctor to find out what will do the job. I have also heard using bio-oil works great for scars ( and yes of course, stretch marks - as that is what bio-oil is initially used for) but give it a try. Lately, I have been using Garnier's skin care line called Pure. I have seen some great results - not perfect yet but definite improvement. I suggest getting their 3 in 1 facial scrub; works as a scrub in the shower or before bed/morning, and you can put it on and leave it for 3 minutes as a mask - it lightens imperfections and prevents more acne - so far I have been very happy with the results! But the mistake I have been making is not using it at least once a day - I am sure if I did that it would be much more effective. But, talk to your doctor, or pharmacist, they usually know the right kind of product for your skin type - then you can go to the drug store and get something that may be more in your price range if what they suggest is expensive. Good luck! Let me know how it works!
readyToStop
August 10, 2011
I know exactly what you mean. Whenever I get stressed, my skin gets sooo much worse from the picking. It's the worst off when I have to write a report for school, and I sit in my room (freaking out and unable to think of what to write) picking at my skin for hours instead of actually typing. At least, it used to only be triggered by stress. But now, like you said, it's habit for me. Every night, I brush my teeth and floss and all that, then spend an hour in the bathroom trying to squeeze out all the blackheads/pimples on my face. Pure habit. If part of your habit involves a mirror, just don't look, or turn the lights out. That works best for me. But if you pick at your skin wherever - mirror or not - it's trickier to stop. I really haven't thought of a way to do this yet. I guess you just have to be super conscious of it: if you feel yourself picking, clench your fists. If you feel yourself wanting to pick, force yourself to take up a new thought. In the car, blast some music and sing along. I don't know if any of this helps you, but good luck! I'm determined to stop too, and it certainly helps to spill out all my feelings to people who completely understand where I'm coming from. :)
Emily123
August 10, 2011
I have dermatillomania as well as skin picking, and i only found out that it was a disorder a week or so ago. I've been trying to get on both the sites as much as possible because it keeps me focused, just as you mentioned. Also, I think your idea about your security blanket is the same for me, though I don't do it when I get scared, I mainly do it when I'm concentrating or when my hand is 'bored'. The worst times for me are on the computer, in the car, watching TV or doing uni work. However, a trick that I've found reduces my picking and my pulling somewhat is fiddling with a piece of blue tack,. See if it helps and get back to me :)
CattiBre
August 10, 2011
Thank you for your input. I think I have conquered a fairly good day - trying to keep an eye on how often I reach to feel for something to pick. I agree with what everyone has suggested so far, it definitely involves self control and keeping your hands busy, staying distracted from picking. So I will continue to try simple things, such as keeping something in my bag that I can access to keep my fingers busy and away from my face. Thank you! CattiBre
arggghmatey
August 25, 2011
Wow, you definitely hit the nail on the head. You wrote exactly what I've been thinking and feeling all these years! So I gues what I'm wondering, is how do you find something that is more comforting and less harmful? That's my issue I guess. I can't think of a better option.

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