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MICRAZY , 20 Aug 2011

NEWBEE...

Been reading many of your posts and I thank all of you for being brave enough to discus this (oh so personal) and distructive behavior. I see many of you started doing this when you were very young. I am in my mid 60's and just started doing this about 2 years ago. Is anyone else out there my age and suffering too? I pick my back, my buttox (checks), my arms & my legs. I now have scar tissue and painful open wounds and I feel like I am going crazy and my head is spinnning from the pain. I don't want to blame anyone or anything in particular for my DERMATILLOMANIA...I finally found a name for it, thanks to this website!!! I only know I don't want to do it anymore and I have seen my family doctor who suggested hypnothreapy (have not secheduled me yet,) and Xanax which makes me feel like a craier person then I am. I'd love to chat with anyone who wants a friend-I know I def need a few myself! The thoughts of this disease being with me for the rest of my life is so painful. I am a good clean person who you'd never think would have "this secret." Thank you. MICRAZY
8 Answers
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Realitysucks
August 21, 2011
Hi and welcome :) I am in my mid thirties but I know I have seen posts from people your age quite recently. It's a very frustrating and painful (sometimes physically, very much emotionally) problem that seems to affect so many people. I think since you have only been having this issue for a few years, you will be able to stop, and you will conquer this :) Old habits are much harder to stop but no doubt, it will still be a struggle for you, but as with all of us here, we can, we will - succeed. I live in CA and if you need a friend, I'd be happy to be one :)
MICRAZY
August 21, 2011
Hi CA. First of all, thank you for writing. I feel so much better that this IS indeed the website I need and will stay with until WE ARE ALL CURED! I would like the try the Desitin cream idea but I hate to be on Prozac, Paxil, Xanaz or any mind altering drugs. What are your feelings on that? Are you taking anything and is it helping? Have you ever tried hypnothreapy? My physcian is suggesting that for me and I will report back after I have a few sessions OK? I did not pick at all yesterday which is AMAZING! I've been putting Aveno cream on all my "scabs" so they are not so toasty and tempting and then they just seem to fall off. Who wants to look like this...I have scars on my back and shoulders mainly and I know it all started when I lost my best friend to cancer 2 years ago this coming February. How long have you been picking and are you getting any relief? Thank you for writing again and I am so very please to have a new friend from CA...have a few out there already that I've known for years but you are very very speical and I can't express how much you mean to me for reaching out to your fellow human being. Toni
Realitysucks
August 23, 2011
I have been picking as long as I can remember, I remember watchng my mother do it as a child so suppose I grew up thinking it was 'normal'. My doc diagnosed me with social anxiety disorder in my early twenties. I would get as nervous and stressed about going anywhere not in my 'circle' as a 'normal' person would about a job interview etc. He gave me paxil, I absolutely hated it. I am a very friendly, empathetic, non-confrontational type of person and when I took that I literally felt like I could choke someone for absolutely no reason, I felt like I could snap, and was afraid to leave the house because of it so I quit taking it. I haven;t taken anything since, not even for anxiety which in my case, is a daily struggle. I would like to get something, but cannot bring myself to even make a doctors appt. I haven't been to a doctor since. I had a scab under my eye the past week or so, it came off once as I kept it too moisterized, and I squuezed it enough to scab over again. As much as I dislike a scab, I dislike a hole in my face more, especially one that cannot be hidden by my hair. I am very frustrated again as the scab is gone and though I have a whole cabinet of medicines/cremes/oils etc I am not quite sure what to put on it to encourage collagen growth. I know time works best, but I am looking for something to speed that up. I am using silicone gel and retinol currently, praying for a miracle that is unlikely to occur. I have been doing some research on derma rollers, and have one in the drawer. It seems to make sense how it works so may try that, though am reluctant to make it worse than it is. So, where are you from? I have a hubby, no kiddies yet. And what is your living situation like? So sorry to hear about your friend...what type of cancer was it? I have relatives that have battled breast and prostate cancer, was at a funeral not so long ago for pancreatic cancer, and have a friend with a child that has terminal brain cancer. Cancer is such an awful disease :( Congrats also to you on kicking smoking! How did you do it?
MICRAZY
August 23, 2011
I have not picked for 4 days and nights now...I don't know how I am doing it I have just decided I can not live like this another day and keep Aveno moisturizer on the scabs and (knock on wood,) it is working FOR NOW. I couldn't sleep very well last night and I was so tempted to pick the hard scabs on my back and arms but I pulled the covers up to my chin and tried to pray as much as I could. I just quit smoking that way too. My Brother-In-Law and I made a $50.00 bet at a party one night and I just never smoked again-I had smoked for 35 years! I smoked about 3 packs that night though. lol I've had some very troubeling things as late in my life and with Grand kids going off to college, Sister-In-Law that loves to back stab and unsupportive family who only think of themselves. They are not my type of people and I need to distance myself more them those that are not good for my soul. I live in Michigan...how bout you? I have the same kind of anxiety (social) as you do...and it is crippling isn't it? I hate it...I have the same feelings as you and even though I can function quite normally at times it is truly paralizing! How bad is your scab picking? Is it possible for you ever to stop do you think? I want to work on ME and the hell with the rest of the world for a while ya know what I mean...can you do that also? We can help one anohter if you'd like! My husband goes away for a few days this week and I am going to try to set up spa appointments and hair, nails etc. and do things just for me for a change. There are just the two of us now and we are retired. Thank you so much for writing me and please keep in touch. We can exchange email addresses if you want to chat more personally too. OK. Big Hugs. ME
Realitysucks
August 25, 2011
We could be related - I have the same backstabbing sister in law LOL And from the description of your family it sounds as though you may also be related to my father haha :D It is paralyzing but sometimes it isn't so bad and I get on fine, other times I can't stand to leave the house. I seem to go through phases where picking is the furthest thing from my mind until I see one little blackhead, can't sleep, and next thing you know it is 3 hrs later and I'm still staring at the mirror horrified at what I have done, regretful and ashamed. I know I will get over this and leave it in the past one day. I will be happy when that day comes! I have a very patient hubby who also travels away now and again. I hope you enjoy your spa and hair days while he is away :D I am finally researching doctors in my area as I know I need something other than willpower to get myself functioning again. It seems my anxiety was tolerable at one time but lately has been a constant crippling experience. Good for you quitting smoking that way - wow! I wish I had that willpower and determination! That sounds nice exchanging emails, would be great to have a friend :)
MICRAZY
August 25, 2011
I am your FRIEND, my name is Toni Walker @ imgaga6@gmail.com Thanks fro writing it is so reassuring to know you and I have some of the same problems. Where in the county do you like? I picked last night and I am sorry but I didn't do it very much...just had some stressful moments and the urge was overwhelming! I am back at trying my best NOT to do it today and IF I get though today...we'll see what tomorrow brings. Right? I can sure tell this is a one day at a time thing...ya know? My day of pampering and beauty was stressful at first I must add. It was scheduled perfectly, I was there at 10:00 a.m. for my massage (the threapist) never showed. I was told to come back at 11:15 for pedicure and nails and had to wait for them to finish working on someone else before they took me. THEN, the owner called another massage therapist and scheduled an appt. for 3:30...THAT made very happy to say the least. The massage thearpist's name was JOY and boy what a joy she was. I am white...she was black (never had a black massage thearpist before,) WE made a connection with one anohter in some strange way and exchanged FB infor to become frineds. Wild hey? I took plastic gloves with me and I asked her if she'd like to wear them while doing my back and she said nosense. :) Have a GREAT day and stay in touch! T.
purplefrog11
August 21, 2011
Hi there! I am in my 20s, but I too have seen many comments from people of all ages on this website. It doesn't matter what your age is; anxiety can come at any time in your life. You have come to the right place by joining this website. People with dermatillomania really just want to talk about it, but it's not something you just bring up in conversation with your friends or family. Good for you for getting your "problem" out there! My biggest problem areas are my arms and legs as well. It's summer time, and I have a part-time job working at a flower nursery, so I wear shorts a lot. And let me tell you, it is quite embarrassing because my legs are just covered in scabs and red spots. I know the pain you're going through. All of us with this destructive habit know it, unfortunately. You have found many friends just by coming to this site.
MICRAZY
August 21, 2011
Hi, I was writing to you and was in the middle of answering your lovely note and mine did a disappearing act. lol THANK YOU for taking time from your busy schedule to write me and offer your friendship! It means the world to me. My name is Toni...what is yours? Working at a nursery with plants has to be FUN? Or not? Do you go to college too? What are your goals as a young adult? The reason I am asking you all the questions, is I have 2 Grandchildren who are 18 & 19 and so I relate well to your age group and just would like to learn more about YOU! I know all this happened to me due to life "stree" as I lost my best friend to cancer and from then on, everything seems to have gone down hill. By the way, I did not pick at anything yesterday after I found this website because I am bound and determinded to kick this in the ASS the way I kicked smoking so many many years ago. JUST DO IT RIGHT??? Tell me about you will you? Your New Friend, Toni

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