Feel worse/better after finding this site.......

Last night after I had made my face bleed for like the 100th time in the day....I decided to see if anyone else picked like me. I found this site, and I have been reading (while picking) for hours. I didn't care who saw me pick, I didn't care if people saw me without makeup. I knew I didn't look like the other women my age (31) with their beautiful skin, but I didn't really care! Until now. I feel worse about this than ever before! Before I read all this, I thought..."This is just something I do and I can stop after I pick this one"....I realize I was just kidding myself! I really can't remember when I started....But I know it started with my fingers (the skin around my nails)....It got so bad they all turned into callouses (sp) and I had to have them surgically removed and wrapped till they healed. Well now I don't bite the finger skin, I use clippers, and they arn't THAT bad. Nobody notices... But now I pick my face...I have been for a LONG time....Maybe 15yrs? I dunno...I have always had an obsession with picking my scabs (and other peoples). I know gross, but it is theraputic! I too go into this trance when I pick my face, I don't see anything, hear anything, I just....am. And I guess I LOVE that. I pick the ENTIRE time I am awake! I don't have to have a mirror, I just pick and pick and pick. I pick till I bleed, wait for it to scab over, and then pick it again. I just never admitted to myself that this was wierd, or a problem. I have since cut my nails to the point of pain, and smeared my face with lotion (so I can't feel the rough edges). I am sitting on my hands (only to find them min later on my face!!!), I have been brushing my hair excessivly. Why can't I just stop. You would think picking was heroine! The stange thing is that I pick the WHOLE time I am awake....am I stressed all day? And I anxious all day? I don't think so.....But I must be if I don't feel comfortable without my hand on my face....*sigh* I am glad y'all are here.....Just hope that I can stop....for good....and that it won't be a continued constant struggle......Thx for listening