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Knao , 21 Dec 2011

I need help...

I've had dermatillomania for 4 years now. I mostly pick just my face. It started with my nose and then my forehead and now my chin. About two years ago I got the courage to tell my mum about my problem but she said that i was being silly and that if i want to stop then i should just stop. After that I never wanted to tell anyone ever again because i was scared they would laugh at me like my mum did. I pick every night probably around 30 mins - one hour. sometimes my skin will get so bad that i dont want to go out the house or see my friends and i try and sleep a lot so my face will heal. Finally when my face is almost healed and looking a lot better, i start picking all over again till it looks really ugly again. Like i want my face to be perfect. But the thing is that if i didnt pick my face it would be almost perfect anyways. i'm 19 now, and i dont get pimples anymore but i can't stop picking at my face when theres even the slightest bump or mark anywhere. I think most people think its acne, but i think my dad must suspect something because hes walked in on me looking in the mirror sometimes. After i told my mum 2 years ago i kind of accepted that I would have it for the rest of my life.. but theres this guy that i'm in love with, and i dont want him to see me like this. I dont want to hurt myself anymore. I dont want my face to be scarred and I'm sick of having to cancel on my friends and wearing heaps of make up everyday. My family probably haven't seen my face without make up in a long time. Every once in a while I go to these camps for church and you can't really pick on camps because you're never alone, your sleeping in a room with 10 other people and theres one huge bathroom. At every camp my skin clears up and by the end of the week its looking really good. And i say to myself, when i go back home i'm not going to pick anymore...but as soon as i get home i go to the bathroom and and an hour later my face is covered in red marks and its like... what have I done... i cant even stop myself its like i dont even realise what i'm doing. Anyways, i don't want to do this for the rest of my life... im 19 now and i can't pass it off as pimples anymore...especially when i just focus on one area at a time.. like my chin will be ruined but then the rest of my face will be perfect. I just want to stop... I want a cure for this horrible habit!
12 Answers
cleanandsparkles
December 21, 2011
HI Knao. not sure about the cure but think that if picking is a problem for you, which i guess it is if it results in you having to cancel seeing your friends, then it could be worth thinking whether it is anxiety related? if it is then it may be possible to chat to your doctor about possible therapies that are designed to treat anxiety. if you are picking 30 mins-1hour per night that is say between 3-7 hours per week - maybe invest in a course that teaches alternative ways of dealing with 'feelings'. .I am starting a course myself soon and in the meantime am using this site to absolute best advantage - ie to keep reminding myself that it is actually a common complaint - to varying degrees. You mention staring in mirror. it is always a bit daunting to see oneself staring blankly in a mirror. this is not how others see us - an expressionless face! try and smile before looking at yourself and see how different you look .Also if the boy you love is worth anything he will not be phased by some facial imperfections. make-up is a wonderful thing for short-term but it is what is going on underneath that matters, ie your feelings. you are young and skin heals quickly, if you get advice soon it could save you a heck of a lot of wasted negative picking hours !with best wishes
secretskin
December 21, 2011
Hey, Like the other comment on here, I had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy a few years ago, and that really helped me. It didn't cure me... I'm still working on it. But it was a massive turning point! If you want to keep me updated on your progress, visit me on my blog, http://secretskinpicker.wordpress.com/ Or email me at secretskin@hotmail.co.uk even if it's just to vent, or to know someone is listening. You aren't alone :-)
Knao
December 24, 2011
Thanks so much for your advice guys! It's helping heaps already :) I think this site really helps, reading about everyone's situations, knowing we're not alone and can finally talk about it with other people going through the same thing! We're all gonna beat this! Good luck to the both of you! =)
picker247
January 27, 2012

In reply to by Knao

Do you think when my dr. sees this, or a nurse at the hospital (I'm having surgery) will be shocked and disgusted or will be helpful and concerned? I hope they don't think I'm dirty or contagious-I'm scared, but the more worried I get, the more I can't resist picking. I remember my mom taking me to the dr. when I was about 10, and he told her that nothing was wrong, I just liked to pick my sores, but I don't. Its humiliating, and sometimes my husband and kids tease me about it. I need help-but the therapy I found on the web costs! I am broke! One time I took my clothes off, without being asked, at my psychiatrist office, and he gave me klonopin, but never told me what causes it or that I wasn't alone. I don't see that dr anymore because of the cost involved, what else can help?
cleanandsparkles
January 04, 2012
hi knao. thanks for reply. just checking in with you and wishing you happy new year! N.Y. can be quite motivating to challenge habits. hope things are going well with you. i am in UK and there are amazing hurricane-like winds howling round the house. feeling anxious about fences as they are not secured properly! oops. i am fighting familiar urge to relieve the anxiety with a scratch/pick session - so far so good... am much stronger since finding this site and hope you are too. wishing you well.
morning_glory
January 05, 2012
Hi Knao, Hope the New Year finds you well. I'm a female in my twenties, and I've picked on and off for the past two years. I finally feel like I'm kicking the habit, after months of struggling. I do recommend therapy, like others on the forum, but if you can't go or can't afford to (like me), here are some tips that have helped me: (1) Using a computer to photograph myself each night before bed. You can really see the progress and/or damage you are making. (2) Having a phrase I repeat to myself when I start picking...I would stop myself and just say, "This is not making my life any better!" (3) Change your routine when you get home. Since you live with your parents, it's probably hard to cover the mirror, but you can maybe change your routine in some small way that breaks the habit. I think the most helpful thing for me was moving to a new place--a new mirror was somehow easier to conquer than the old one where my bad habits were established! But most importantly, don't be too hard on yourself! It's really, really difficult to break the habit & you'll eventually fall back and make mistakes. Just move past those mistakes--I definitely picked at a pimple last week, but for the first time in a long while I didn't make myself feel horrible about it. You can definitely do this! All the best.
lizzle
January 05, 2012
this sounds exactly like me. i've just cancelled on my friends again tonight. most of my friends don't bother asking me anymore. i feel so alone until i come on here...
Knao
January 08, 2012
After finding this site i wanted to do a 30 day challenge where I didn't pick. Its been almost 3 weeks so far and its going really well. Only had 2 tiny setbacks, but whenever I am tempted to pick I just think of what I could be anxious about or whether Im bored and just need to schedule my time properly so that I dont even have time to think about picking. Just keeping busy really helps and it makes me feel better about myself. Also I know that picking actually gives me pimples and so i tell myself that when i go in front of the mirror. Now that i've pretty much havent picked in almost 3 weeks, my skin is looking much better and I can actually see the damage that my picking has caused, i can see faint scars which I am trying to get rid of with some bio oil. Thanks to this site, i now have the willpower to try and stop and want to stop to encourage everyone else out there that you can too! :)
cleanandsparkles
January 11, 2012
Great Knao! life will be a whole lot easier without having to worry about the picking - and more time to have fun. this site is a powerful motivator to stop - or at least lessen the problem of picking. sounds as if you are doing so well and its good to hear. i am also doing well and know that sharing about it helps keep the resolve strong. i know that i never want to go backwards now. well done to all of us, however small or big our successes - at least we are trying our best!
drannekim
January 19, 2012
i am not asd, but i have issues with skin picking (one of my ocpd traits). its found in a lot of disorders. i pick at scabs primarily, or rough spots on my skin. i am really struggling with it right now due to increased stress the past few months. i have a spot on my wrist thats 1"x2" and started as a mosquito bite last year, and a couple scab spots on my legs that are about 3 years old. Is there any treatment available in an Aesthetic clinic elsewhere? I am visiting Hair and Laser Clinic, http://www.hairandlaserclinic.com/ , next week to seek information and treatment for my dilemma.
picker247
January 27, 2012

In reply to by drannekim

I'm having a really hard time too, I noticed that I'm usually thinking negative thoughts about who I am or what I look like when I pick. I am relieved to see that most people have bad childhood experiences or trauma that are the "root" cause of this compulsion. I never knew anyone else did this but me (What a freak!) I would tell myself. But now that I know other people are struggling with this too, I actually have a little hope that maybe I can quit, someday?
picker247
January 27, 2012
I can't quit! I've been doing this off/on since I was 10. I had no idea that anyone else suffered with this until I saw a show on t.v. about a woman that had "CSP". I about fell out! I wasn't alone, and this was a condition that other people actually battled with. All my life I have felt wierd about this and ashamed, now I'm starting to think that it's not all my fault. I am going through a particularly bad time right now (with my picking) and in other areas of my life. I have a surgery sceduled in a couple of days and I have been trying for a month to stop or slow down my picking because I'm embarassed of nurses, doctors, and relatives to see what I have done to my body. The picking is usually just on my buttocks and on the back of my thighs and back-so that I can hide it with my clothes, but now it's on my ankles, calves, knees, front of my thighs, belly, breasts, shoulders, elbows, forearms, face, chin-absolutely everywhere-and it's starting to make me not want to leave my house. It's winter right now, so I can get away with jackets/pants and makeup, but what am I to do when spring gets here, and summer? How can I stop for those seasons if I can't stop for surgery? I used to just pick at home, alone, or in bed. Now I pick in the middle of the store, while I'm driving, in waiting rooms, taking the dog for a walk-I've got to stop!

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