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Getting out of the trance
I've been obsessively "cleaning" the pores in my face for over 25 years, spending way too much time in front of the mirror and damaging my skin. I am transfixed in front of the mirror in a trance state, my inner fantasy world. It is the trance plus the act of squeezing my pores that is so soothing, and that is why it is so hard to stop. Tonight I allowed myself to pick but I worked very hard to stay in the moment and not let my my mind wander. I told myself exactly what was I was doing, like a play-by-play of my actions. "I'm picking. I'm squeezing blackheads from my nose, and now my chin, etc. My back hurts. I'm stepping away from the mirror to relieve my back pain. I'm aware that my picking is hurting my skin." Within 10 minutes I moved away from the mirror, whereas I usually spend over an hour standing there. I believe the trick to curbing this behavior (and eventually stopping) is to BE IN THE MOMENT AND NOT GO INTO A TRANCE STATE!!!
January 30, 2012
Totally know what you mean! I allow myself to go into the "trance" too where I'm not even thinking about it...I just do it.. sometimes for an hour or more until there is seriously not a single pore left on my nose or chin or forehead that can be squeezed. I'm going to try and go this whole week without picking at all. It's definitely going to be difficult. I think the longest I ever went was about a month and then once I gave in, all my progress just seemed completely ruined. Sometimes I honestly don't think I will ever be able to stop doing this...and it drives me crazy. I think "normal people do not do this, why do I do this to myself?" I know its ruining my skin.