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Scalp Picking

SSP30 , 15 Mar 2012

I need to quit picking my scalp

I hope that writing this will be therapeutic as it will be the first time I admit this to anyone. I remember the moment I started picking at my scalp. I was 10 years old in 5th grade and I'm now 30. I have always wanted to quit but haven't been able to go more than a few days. I am a successful female with my own house. I have a great boyfriend. I'm very healthy, into eating right and exercising. And I have lots of thick hair. No bald spots yet and want to quit before I do more damage. I remember exactly how I started. There was lice going around in school in 5th grade. A friend pointed out that I had white stuff on my hair and said I had lice. I didn't really have lice and I claimed it was dandruff so that I wouldn't be made fun of. If I scratched my head it would become flakey. Sometime soon after that I scratched my head and felt a flake or something in my hair. I pulled it out and liked the way it felt and started feeling around to see if there were more. There were no more so I started scratching to make flakes that I could pull out and thought if I scratched it all off it would go away. The scratching turned into picking and created scabs for me to pull off again and again. Now it's 20 years later. One time I thought to myself, "there must be at least one other person in the world who does this". It turns out there is a lot. No one knows what I do. My mom always saw me playing with my scalp and told me to stop but I don't think she knows what I really do or how bad it is. I try not to do it in front of people but if I get the urge I have a spot on the side if my head so it looks like I am pushing my hair behind my ear. Or I have a spot near the base of my head near my neck so it looks like I'm just rubbing my neck. Maybe I'm not as discrete as I think I am. I pick mostly when I'm alone which is a lot because I work from home. I have about 6 sores currently going. I think I pick when I am stressed. I love my career but it's demanding. I have deadlines to adhere to which stresses me out and I'll catch myself picking instead of working. I drive a lot for work. I start picking as soon as I get in the car because it's a time that I am alone and a time that I think a lot. And sometimes I just do it because I like how it feels. I like how the scab feels on my scalp, how it feels to pull it off under my nails, how it feels between my fingers when I pull it out of my hair. If it's a really big one I like to break into smaller pieces. It sounds so gross. The spots I pick have been there for serval years. I used to pick deeper and bloodier scabs in high school. Most are more like calluses now so I usually don't make myself bleed but sometimes it happens. There is one spot where there is little baby hairs that feel like stubble. They never get the chance to grow out and I'm afraid it will become a bald spot soon. My hair dresser noticed it once and asked if I pull my hair out. I said, "no" because that's not what I do. I made the excuse that my hair brush got stuck and it broke some hair off. I never went back to her out of embarrassment. I want to quit before my boyfriend and I move into together or get married because I fear he will catch onto my bad habit and be disgusted. I'm afraid to get bald spots. I'm afraid to get an infection and have to go to the hospital and tell them why. I'm afraid it will cause some other type of problem. Sometimes the back of my head will get sore and swell up a little. Reading the posts on here get me motivated to quit but I always relapse. I really want this to be the time I quit for good.
74 Answers
Lexiluv33
October 30, 2013
Hello, I seem to have the same problem as you...But I dont know where the scabs are coming from. But I cant stand them, so i pick them, and then when i pick them and they start healing they itch, so i itch my head like crazy, and then they dont heal, and i get more and more. It is so embarrasing, i want t go get a haircut but I'm too embarrased that the hairdresser will say something about it.
allmylife
December 24, 2013
Thank you so much for sharing. I pick my scalp also. I don't remember when I started but I know I haven't always done it because I remember really loving when people would brush my hair or play with it and I know I wouldn't have allowed that if I was afraid of them seeing scabs. I do have very mild psoriasis on my scalp. That is where the scabs come from and when I have one and feel it, I can't help but pick at it. Sometimes weeks may go by without a scab but someitmes I'll have a few at a time. One time I went to get my haircut and the beautician wore gloves because I had an open sore on my scalp. She probably thought I had AIDS. That was probably the most embarrising thing, but it did not cause me to stop. I am 55 year old now and I have noticed my hair getting thinner, which really has me worried. I'm very glad to have found this forum.
danamarsh11
June 15, 2014
Like just about everyone here, I have been a nasty scalp-picker for years. Everyone is like OMG-What-to-do???. It's not rocket science: Put some antibiotic cream on the bad spots. Leave it on day and night (I like to reapply at night), until they heal. The cream keeps the skin soft and generally un-pickable until it heals. I have been doing this for years and it's effective. Because I dye my hair, I will always get scabs, but this trick keeps the problem under control. Also, please don't assume that people with this problem have a psychological disorder. Some people just like the feel of a nice smooth scalp. If I felt I could get away with shaving my head, I would....
Avery816
June 21, 2014
I think it started around 5th grade for me, I don't know how or why but I just started picking at dandruff flakes on my scalp and that turned into obsessively digging into my scalp dozens of times a day. This is really gross but I would actually collect the scabs and put them on this one spot on my desk in my room. I wanted the scabs to be as big as possible. I remember one time I accidentally knocked the scabs off the desk and spent about 30 minutes collecting as many as I could off the floor in the middle of the night, now that I look back on it I sound absolutely crazy. I hated getting haircuts because the hairdresser would point them out and I would be so embarrassed, and I couldn't part my hair certain ways because sometimes people would notice the scabs. At one point I had a bald spot on my head about 3 millimeter wide, big enough for my mom to notice. I'm in 11th grade now and I really don't remember the last time I picked a scab from my scalp, probably about a year ago, but every once in a while I'll graze my nails across my scalp to see if anything is pickable lol. I'm really glad there's other people out there who go through what I went through, and it shows that not everyone with weird habits are freaks, I'm a normal high school girl.
awake2day
August 01, 2014
Hi All, There's a book called "Skin Deep" a free ebook worth looking at. go to http://grossbart.com/SkinDeep.pdf here's an excerpt from the book... " Itches are like chains: shake any link and every link rattles. Scratch your wrist and soon a cascade of itching will pour down your arm, over your shoulder, and across your chest. This sets up a black-and-white situation: either your mastery is perfect or you slip irreversibly into total itching. You need the freedom to itch or scratch a bit without falling back to zero. 1 Do your usual sequence, relax, enter the healing state, and sample the soothing pleasure of the ideal imaginary environment. 2 Loosely focus on the image of a length of chain, imagine that each link of this chain is totally separate from the others. No matter how vigorously you shake it, one link can't budge any other link. This image helps your mind and body unlearn the expectation that the first itch or scratch unleashes the whole cycle. Don't work or push at this image. Plant it like a seed each time you do the series of exercises. ''Water'' the seed a hundred times a day by letting yourself see the image of an unlinked chain for a fraction of a second. Take some of the energy that you throw into your typical inner monologue of doubt and fear and use it instead to fertilize the seed, the image. You can put this image to work in many ways: Unlink the itch on the side of your knee from the skin on the front and back of your knee and all over your body. Even if you were to scratch the side of your knee a bit, it wouldn't matter. The experience is totally separate from all other itches and scratches." APART from this book entirely, what may be useful in helping calm the nerves...download youtube videos with guided meditations (one that fits your needs), I personally like "The Honest Guys", Linda Hall "Positive Thinking Meditation: Endorphin Meditation with Positive Affirmations", Susannah IsThisADream "Guided Meditation and Visualisation for Third Eye Activation // Astral Projection // Relaxation If you still need immediate help...and have turned to everything, and do NOT want to use prescription drugs... research different "Past Life Regressionists" in your area. They may be able to help you... with a light and safe hypnosis.. to uncover the 'source' for picking and in many cases be healed immediately! Be open minded - especially if nothing else has worked! Be blessed. Namaste.
Idiotest
September 15, 2014
Like all of you I never knew anyone else who did this. I started picking scabs and biting the inside of my lower lip since I can't remember, too young. I have always thought I was different than everyone else. I tried to be happy and "perfect" you know like, exercise, eat right, not pick, wear make up every day, keep everything super clean.. It didn't work for very long. Problems I've had : Was "gang molested" by next door neighbor boys when I was 4.. I am an only child and both my parents were alcoholics so they left me a lot or made me duck down in the back seat of the car. While they were inside a bar. They would leave me with someone and forget to pick me up for a few weeks. I can't believe I'm writing this! I feel like it all comes down to not loving myself and somehow blaming myself for everything. I now am: bipolar, extreme depression, ADHD. I just assumed that I picked because I'm crazy and was self mutilating. I like to feel the scab on my head, then pick it slowly making sure to really go deep so it will bleed a lot. Then I pick the others, I have about 6 going right now, they hurt really bad but I like that. I like pulling the scab down my hair to look at it. And I love when there is fresh liquid blood on my fingers. I don't know how to stop, my psychologist doesn't know about the picking but, my depression is so bad and I'm on so many meds, that I'm going to try cbt, cognitive behavior training. Thanks for this outlet I'll be back here daily!
Barbiegirl
November 01, 2014

In reply to by Idiotest

I'm am the same, very similar circumstances, I too thought I just was crazy, I'm currently at cbt, haven't mentioned the picking yet. I am enjoying understanding why I have a self destruct streak. I've been doing things all my life that I couldn't understand. So I recommend cbt, and your posting made me feel that the picking thing is worth mentioning to the psych so thank you xxxx

iza
October 14, 2014

I feel the same way as you. Embarassed, wanting to hide my wrist biting and scalp picking. My stress management class opened me up to belly breathing, or deep breathing. Whenever I get that biting or picking urge I try to focus on my breathing instead. It is very difficult to refrain, and sometimes I succumb, but any less biting or picking is a small step in the right direction. I recommend trying this, it may help. Look up breathing exercises on youtube. Best of luck and always remember your habits do not define who you are.

mrsgray
February 19, 2015

I know this post is old but i couldnt help letting you know that I TOO STARTED IN 5TH GRADE WHEN A CLASSMATE CAME DOWN WITH LICE! I can remember it like yesterday (im now 26!) once i heard that someone had lice i immediately started picking! I would pick ooff dandruff or anything i felt and look at it to make sure it wasnt lice! I have now done this for over 15 years. I do have a few permanent bald spots about the size of a pea that ive had for years now. I pick more some times than others and not sure why... Wish i knew the answer or how to stop (although i dont know why AND I HHATE the fact that i kinda like it?) its terrible:( i also pick and pull at the tiny hairs TRYING to regrow. I wish you luck and hope to one day get to the bottom of this problem. As we speak my head burns from my constant picking for the last few days. My hair is so oily and its ways a temptation, one that i love and hate so much at the same time. please if you have any helpful information email me at candacegray1113@gmail.com good luck and thanks for listening

moroco35
April 08, 2015

I do this too. I currently have a huge scab that keeps getting bigger on my scalp and I can't stop picking at it. I love the feel of scraping the skin off and seeing blood. so weird. Btw Im female, 46.

Cannotstop
April 11, 2015

Ew, me too as of late, but have been picking elsewhere since, ha, 5th grade. I feel so gross and terrible that I do this, but cannot stop. If I don't always think "don't do it" , I will do it-like auto pilot. I also like the taste, which actually sickens myself, but I don't know why I like it. Just terrible. Never abused, great childhood.

SouziQ
May 25, 2015

I thought I was the only one with this issue but reading the other comments with SUCH SIMILAR backstories has really blown my mind. I am a 29 year old woman and I know that this started when I was in 3rd or 4th grade when I got lice from a little girl I went to school with whose house I would play at. When my Mom figured out that I had lice she immediately treated me but after that I started noticing the ocd coming on really bad! Ocd and depression runs in my family but I never made the connection until recently. Growing up my Mom would always say "Why are you picking, do you have bugs!?" and I think that she thought it was funny but it really just made me more self conscious. After having (and getting rid of) lice, I would constantly make my Mom check my scalp because I was so fearful. As I grew up I noticed any time that I was stressed, or bored I run my fingers over my scalp and feel for any bumps or anything, then I take my fingernails and I get great satisfaction from pulling it out and then rolling it inbetween my fingers. I do this with dandruff CONSTANTLY and sometimes it does result in scabbing that I will pick as well but I don't really get satisfaction from the scabs and if I am bleeding I will lay off that certain area until it heals. I don't really go for the scabs like everyone else seems to but I do have very long hair so it seems that dandruff does get caught more easily. I also pick at my ears...I (and my husband) thought that they were just very crusty I had no idea why but it seems as though if I don't pick at them for a day or two (or even sometimes just overnight) that they literally have a layer of white/yellow crust type skin that I scrape off and roll inbetween my fingers. I have never told a doctor because I chalked it up to me just being especially gross for whatever reason but now I suppose it is a problem that is indicative of a larger emotional issue. I don't do it if I am occupied but any time I am not I simply can't help myself. I recently stopped working and I am a stay at home mom with my wonderful 2 year old daughter. My husband works as a driver for UPS and due to long work days and him being off his sleep schedule it is normal that I wont see him for more than a hour at a time during the weekdays. Being alone so much has made it much worse and I keep telling myself I should go to a doctor to try to get a handle on my stress and ocd but I feel that the doctors that I have been to just don't understand, I feel very ignored and misunderstood. Every time I go to a doctor I feel like (it may be in my head but I don't think so) they think I am making it up but if they even took a minute to look at my head or ears they would know that I am not. Coming here has made me feel a little less alone and isolated so hopefully I will find a doctor that actually cares sometime soon.

MGH44
July 20, 2015

Most of these stories are just so very similar to mine. I can't, however, remember when I started picking my scalp. There was no big event, like lice. I've picked my skin in other areas since I was a child ( I'm 29 now ) and I guess I just moved on to picking my scalp. I find it so odd that most of us get so much satisfaction from the feeling of scabs underneath our nails, seeing the blood, tasting the scabs and blood. It just seems so strange to me that we all enjoy this. I mean I do too. But it just doesn't make a lot of sense as to the reason. I guess I've just never realized other people do this too and it's just baffling me as to why we do... I don't have a cure or an answer. I just needed to vent.

LilyOh
October 06, 2015

I'm 15 years old and I've been doing the skin picking for like 2 years now. I was trying to search up solutions when I found this. Which makes me happy because I'm not the only one. I like to pick my skin everywhere. For a while it was on my philtrum and in between my eyes, and then it was my neck. Right now i always pick my scalp. I always pick it when I'm in class mindlessly and then there will be a bunch of little pieces of scalp. I pick it a lot when I'm stressed or angry, and then it burns a lot when I take a shower. It also flakes a lot when I blow dry my hair, even though I just washed it. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on stopping or preventing or treating so that I can stop this from becoming a bad habit. I have tried to exercise self control but then I forget and begin to mindlessly pick again. I'm glad that so many people have the same habit as me and I'd like to ask for help! Thank you

MGH44
October 22, 2015

In reply to by LilyOh

Hi LilyOh and everyone else. I posted on this topic a few months ago and my scalp picking has only gotten worse. I now have a skin infection and need to go to the doctor tomorrow. This will be the first time I've told a doctor about my condition. I'm both scared and excited. I'm scared because I'm embarrassed and excited because maybe he will be able to help me. I know just "willing" to stop doesn't work. I don't know what DOES work, but for me just saying "stop" won't do the trick. My scalp burns as I lay here. I'm dreading having to brush it before work tomorrow as its sore and like I said infected. I'm going to stop hiding though. Tomorrow I'll tell my dermatologist and then next my psychiatrist. There has to be a solution.

anon123
November 17, 2015

I'm 14 and have the same problem. Started this year, and I pick at my scalp often until it bleeds. It's so frustrating and right now as I'm typing I am scratching. Every time I shampoo my scalp stings and burns, I hate it. Friends have pointed out that I have scabs on my scalp and I constantly make up excuses it's so embarrassing. Whenever I scratch my head, I get dandruff underneath my nails (sorry I know its gross), I don't know why but it's weirdly satisfying to pick it out of my nails. I paint my nails because I've noticed my finger nails get really gross looking. I'm not sure when exactly or how it started, but I do remember having lice once and scratching my head and (disgusting part coming up) found a lice underneath my nail,.... twice! It was gross but satisfying that it was out of my hair. This feels so great to tell someone who has experienced some form of this unexplainable behavior. I want this to stop, I want beautiful, undamaged hair for my formal and wedding but I fear that won't happen because of my constant need to scratch, itch and pick. HELP!

Mum81
December 08, 2015

I am a 34yo mother of 2. I have been picking my scabs for as long as i can remember. I remember as a child friends asking me why i pick my scabs. My father telling me he knew of someone who died from picking their scabs, though i don't know how much truth is in that, but it has always stuck. I told my mother and a friend today that i have been picking my scalp. I asked them to tell me if they notice me doing it. I told my mother i enjoy the feeling of the scab. After reading these posts i am glad i am not the only one. I am not alone. I started picking scabs on my legs and back/shoulder area. It only just progressed to scalp this year after i had issues with a shampoo, which caused irritation. I feel like it isn't as noticeable. The rest is history, all i know is that i need help .

Itsme
January 17, 2016

Hi. I'm a 13 year old girl and I have been picking at my scalp for about a year now. My habit started because I liked the feeling of making a certain spot of my hair red and irritated and it never lasted for more than three days until once again I started picking a the top of my scalp just because I liked the feeling. It was just like all the other spots in my head that had gone away after a couple of days. Except I started doing it to the same spot a day later the irritation went away but this time I began to pull my hair more and more everyday in just one spot which pretty small because I really liked how it felt. I did it when I got sad or bored. I never tell anyone about because I find my bad habitat very embarrassing and specially at my age. The more hair I pulled out the better I felt, until I realized but I had done to a section of my hair. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. After that spot was clear with absolute no hair I want to go further but I got in control on that so all I did was pick at it. Then after a couple of weeks I stopped. I was proud and my hair was growing back even through it sticks out but I put hair spray so you can't tell. But a few days ago I started again): that section of my hair is really red and I pulled some of my growing hair out while I picked at it. It feels like an addiction to me. I need help on how to stop but I don't want to tell my parents so that means I can't go to a professional for help.I don't want it to effect me anymore in my upcoming teen years.

lizstevens
January 26, 2016

In reply to by Itsme

Welcome and I am proud of you that you came here looking for a solution to this problem. Please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed. Talk to your Mom or Dad and just let them know how you are feeling. I have found that once you talk about it, it takes the scary out of it. You will feel much better, I promise you.

Abcde
February 18, 2016

All sounds familiar. I do it now for 5 years. I want to stop it and i Will. I find it horrible. I have 5sores, always the same, lost bit of hairs around them, i am worried. Using now castor oil to restore my scalp, and it is werking. Very motivated now with it. Hope this helps,j

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