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jessy , 03 Dec 2007

cant stop picking my face

hi everyone, i'm totally hopeless. i have this problem that i'm picking on the pimples and the dark spots on my face and its stronger than me. i just have to do it i dont know what to do. my face looks like a car wreck and as soon as it gets any better i start all over again. i dont understand anything anymore.
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anndublin
December 08, 2007
Hello Jessy. The kind of problem you're talking about usually is common among teenagers. You shouldn't feel hopeless about it, it's totally normal to have acne in your age. However the picking itself is a different problem. I would advise you to turn to a doctor. Treating your skin might do wonders, and the picking problem might go away altogether. It's a good thing you chose to speek to people online. If you feel you can handle direct communication with your relatives and friends about it - that would be best. Don't give up and don't get frustrated. Ann.
JeannieK
June 10, 2009
WEll folks, I'm far from a teenager and I've been at this for probably 20 years, never knew until today what it was and that others had it and that it had a name and there was a board like this. And I would not have found this had I not pressed one key wrong on my board. I give you hope. =)
elille
January 26, 2008
I have the exact same problem; I've been picking at my skin for almost five or six years now. Some nights, depending on how bad I feel, I show my face no mercy. And it's so sad, because I zone out and just pick and pick at everything on my face. The thing is, I don't even have acne. It's all the tiny pores and blackheads that no one could possibly see unless that person was attatched to my face! I can stand in front of the mirror for over an hour and once I finally snap back to reality my face is blotchy and bleeding in spots and it hurts so bad. I just try to wash my face and go back to bed. Some mornings, I don't want to wake up at all. I've skipped class because of having a bad night. I've called in sick to work too. I think the problem for me is just to stay out of the bathroom. What I do is, I have this bubble light (the ones you get for Christmas trees) or any other night light will do. One with a different color than a white bulb. You turn that on instead of the bathroom light and it makes you think your skin looks great because if you have acne, you can't really see the difference between skin tone and red, inflamed skin. It helps me if I'm smart enough to do it. Most of the time I just flip on the light switch though. Then all hell breaks loose.
frenchy
March 19, 2008
I have been picking for about the same amount of years and know exzactly how you feel! Any little blackhead or tiny blemish I will pick at it! The bathroom and mirrors are my worst enemy! I also pick bad at night sometimes and go to bed hating to wake up because I will know that in the morning the aftermath of what I've done to my face is there, and that realy sucks! I always count down days until I think my face will get better, and then its good for a few days a week or maybe two weeks at the most and then the picking cycle just starts usualy I have 3 good days and then pick realy bad although during the 3 days I still pick just not as bad....
akacricket18
August 21, 2008
hi there ... i just read what u wrote and i am going through the exact same thing... what in the world is wrong with us .. why cant we stop picking ... email me at akacricket18@yahoo.com.... id like to talk with u about it ... it makes me feel better when i talk to someone with the same problem..
chels
February 07, 2008
I have the same thing, and I am completely aware. I just can't stop doing it! And the same like you, when it starts to clear up, i find SOMETHING else to pick because it just feels good. Don't Worry, Your not alone! Good luck to you =]
akacricket18
August 21, 2008
Hi i just found this site .. i have the same problem as the rest of you... im 25 year old female .. and ive been picking my face since i was about 16 or 17 ... i really want to stop this obsessive habit..but i just cant seem to make myself stop, Its like the blackheads get clogged into my pores and i can feel them in my face or something and it really bothers me so i squeeze and pick until i get them out .. and i no this is bad for my skin... but i continue to do it... If anyone out there is having this same issue and has been able to keep from doing it as much .. please email me at akacricket18@yahoo.com and please tell me how u did it .. it would be highly appreciated.. thanks
sitsmokepick
August 30, 2008
i can't take it anymore! this is ruining my life! I've been doing this ever since i was a kid--started with lip and scab picking. My face looks horrible--I'm already on meds for anxiety and depression, but it's not getting any better. I had no idea that this habit had a name or a following--like trichotillomania. I even have a background in mental health--psychology, social work. I just want to learn how to stop--I feel like a freak!
Kiwi
December 27, 2008
Ok, I was sure I was the only one with this problem. To be frank, I don't think that anyone who doesn't suffer from dermatillomania can give completely sound advice on the topic or on how to overcome it. I know that a lot of medical professionals cast a blind eye on the compulsion and pass it off as a "phase" that many people go through, but I think that everyone in this forum realizes it is, in fact, a fully-fledged addiction. I have deduced this from my own symptoms which include: the absolute need to pick my skin (especially when I'm feeling angry or down) the increase in heart rate as I'm scanning my skin and discover some squeezables which persists all through the squeezing session, the sheer gratification of seeing anything come out despite being well aware of the tissue damage I'm causing, and finally the feelings of despair and regret when I tear myself away from the mirror, knowing that this not is the last time I will inflict this upon myself. I can empathise completely with everyone who said they wake up going "aw shit I picked my skin last night." For me, it's even embarrassing leaving my room in the morning without make-up on because it's blatantly obvious to my family that I've been doing it. I think that shame is actually another clear indicator of addiction. From the limited research that has been carried out on dermatillomania, I have deduced that this activity releases endorphins, the same way chocolate, exercise and sex do. Although it ruins a little part of my life, this intrigues me and I'm really determined to overcome it as I know all of you are. I'd really like to know more about your personalities just to see if there is something common to all of us that we might be able to associate with this condition and therefore target. I know for me, it's chipping away at my confidence more and more cause I'm 19 now and most people have almost totally grown out of the pimple stage so it seems to me that all people notice when they talk to me is my skin. Aside from this problem I'd say I'm quite a confident person and I feel in control of most other aspects of my life. I'm in university, play sport, music, have a large network of friends and would rarely let this problem prevent me from living my life. I'm generally really happy and love joking around and not taking things seriously. The thing that strikes me about myself (I know it's weird getting inside my own psyche but whatever) is that I sometimes feel really, really angry for no particular reason. I've been picking my skin for so long now that I cant decipher whether this is the cause of or a consequence of the picking. This is usually what sparks these stupid skin-picking episodes which in turn make my feel ugly and inadequate and I always tell myself I deserved it afterwards. It's weird cause I know I'm not ugly and I know I've a lot to live for but I do tend to bottle things up and rarely cry and always try to maintain a strong facade around my friends. This is sort of my secret devil that only you guys know about. Is anyone else the same? Is anyone else here generally really happy and outgoing but struggles silently with this one aspect of your lives? Do you think that maybe the habit could sort of be paralleled with self-harm? If anyone has actually read my big massive rant then thank you so much and you deserve a prize.
LACME1965
December 29, 2008
Hi Kiwi, I don't think your response was a rant at all. I think you are at the point where you are really starting to acknowledge this whole thing as part of your life and questioning it. The fact that you shared your "secret devil" with the forum, and that you seeked out this site shows that. I'm 43 years old and have been doing this forever. My face still breaks out all the time- and I'm torn between disgust (and wanting to hide from society), and "excitement" of there being something new to pick. After all of these years- I JUST brought this out to my therapist a few weeks ago. I've been hiding it for so long. I'm so embarrassed. She said that it is a form of self mutiliation (like cutting). And it is an OCD. It's not something that is talked about- so people really don't think about it as a "problem" that needs treatment, I know it took me finding this site and reading everyone's posts to be able to confess this habit to her. That was my first step. Your "rant" as you call it is your first step. Be proud of yourself for that. If you want to email separately- feel free: lconley@maine.rr.com.
SkinPickerK
January 01, 2009
You are not alone. I did it for awile all over my body, but my twin is worse, she does it to her face and uses needles, tweezers and other sharp objects to do so. All of the feelings you feel is how she feels, it is an obsessive compulsive disorder. My twin would do it so bad that she couldnt hide it with makeup having 2inch scabs and gashes and would stay home from school. One thing she did is she went to a dermatologist and got prescribed some medication that drys out her skin. It makes barely any small bumps to pick at. I also know from experience that I got into washing my face instead. I use a deoderant soap such as lever 3000 with aloe (the green one) antibacterial soap, I even use dish soap! It drys out my face and makes wayyy less of the bumps, also, you need to realize (what I tell my twin) that if you get under the zit and push it once, it isnt going to go. And thats a plus with drying out your skin, because all of my bumps pop out so easy! They are blackheads and whiteheads now! And you can see the infection under the skin, so you need to teach yourself the 1 pinch rule. Dont use sharp nails on them. And if you do or dont pop it and it hurts(deep on the inside) to lightly push on it, then it has more infection, but isnt ready, put a hot washcloth on it and give it a few days. And ALWAYS....ALWAYS WASH YOUR FACE AFTER TOUCHING IT! EVEN AFTER A SHOWER! Especially if popping! you can get the infection in other pores!, dont use anything but your hands, washcloths are rough and damage the skin and take the good oils out of the skin, causing it to over produce oils. ONLY hands. Wash often, I was 2-4 a day. Hope this helps, helped for me....now just to fix the nails and lips....
Jeanne
January 02, 2009
I just wanted to say i really appreciate your post. I do some very similar things as your twin and sometimes i feel like I just can't stop myself. I can't stand having any white heads on my face. I will get these huge postules that will top off with a white head and it is so hard for me to leave them alone, and when I do not try and squeeze them they take forever to go away. I will use tweezers to get out all the white I see. In reality i realize i am just making my skin worse but it is so hard. i feel like it has impaired my social life so much and I always think other people are looking at all of the spots on my face. Does anyone have some of these similar experiences?
612dct
January 11, 2009
i totally get the whole needle/tweezers thing. just be careful about drying out your skin too much...if your face is sensitive or combination oily/dry, then you might get the lovely side effect of peeling and scaling (even if you moisturize a lot...which can lead to more bumps and pimples if you can't find the perfect balance between enough moisture and not clogging pores...hint from my dermatologist: just because it says it's noncomodegenic, doesn't mean that your specific skin won't react)...anyways, my lovely skin-picking brain found this to be the perfect picking opportunity. argh! i'll have patches of skin that just...come off...it's looks like my "face is falling off." i sleep with neosporin/band-aids on a lot of the time (but only on dry/red/peely/scabby parts that aren't because of a zit...want that to air out/dry out asap...but would neosporin help the infection, or just clog it? idk, another question i've never asked my dermatologist). it's just so frustrating because part of my skin are so oily, and then others are just rough and dry and peeling...and some parts are both oily AND peeling! but i feel for everybody on the cycle thing...just when i think that my red spots/patches are fading and things are healing--BAM--i break out and everything starts all over again.
SkinPickerK
January 01, 2009
****ALSO LADIES...INSTALL LOW-RESOLUTION LIGHT BULBS IN ALL OF YOUR RROMS OF YOUR HOUSE!!! ESPECIALLY BATHROOM! THE BATHROOM SHOULD BE THE VERY LOWEST OF LOWS! This helps keep your mind off doing the compulsion, and when your in the bathroom or any room, you cant do it! Because the light is so low you cant tell if you have anything!
kristynscarred
January 03, 2009
i feel the same way you do where i get angry at myself for picking. and it's like i don't ever really know which came first, the picking or the acne. I have a goofy light-hearted persona externally and with friends, because they can distract me enough to just be happy. but when i am alone i am always so frustrated with myself for letting it get this bad. i wish i could figure out what to do or how to make it stop. i always feel so disgusting and dirty and just plain weird after picking or popping.
sickofit
January 03, 2009
Kiwi, everything you said is /exactly/ like me. Every detail. I'm 19, and know how you feel when you say all your friends have grown out of the pimple phase but you. Every morning after a picking session is just... ugghh.. As well, I dislike how doctors just pass over our disorder like it's nothing. They don't know what it's like! The way you described how your heartbeat rises as you are scanning your face for something to pick... it's so true. It really is the best feeling (yet also the most guilt-inflicting). Sometimes I just wish I could move away to a cave somewhere where no one ever sees me so I can do it 24/7 without worrying. I too am a very happy person with a normal lifestyle and many friends. I've never had a big traumatic experience or anything like that. However, my Dad has Trichotillomania so my problem might be hereditary. In other aspects of my life I'm very proud of myself, at 19 I own my own condo and have a steady job and go to college for something I love. Yet this one huge thing controls my life, and I hate it. I discovered this disorder a few months ago, and of course, after realizing it was a real disorder, I freaked out and vowed never to pick again. Guess how long that lasted? :P I've had the disorder since I was about 10 or 11, and used to try everything. I tried covering all the mirrors in my house, cutting my nails (which are naturally very long and not easily breakable which may don't help my problem) down to the stub, even putting tape on my nails, and signs up around the house in random places like 'DO NOT PICK!!' and marking on calendars on days I didn't pick... the list goes on. Needless to say, I stopped trying, especially because it was sort of a trance and I didn't even notice I was doing it. Now, it's getting worse. Before I would just pick at my face, but now it's anything I can find. Especially on my shoulders and the tops of my arms, where people can't see when I wear a t-shirt. It's still really bad though, I'm afraid to take my shirt off in front of my boyfriend, and just last month I skipped my work Christmas party because I knew I was going to have to wear a dress and people would see my shoulders. Do you see any patterns so far? I hope I've helped. It was good to finally tell people my situation. To be honest, I think I've given up. A few months ago I really thought I was going to stop, it was the hardest I've ever tried. But since that didn't work it feels like nothing will, and I've pretty much given up all hope.
pinacolada
January 07, 2009
omg, as i was reading your note it as as if you were telling my life story... I hate that i tell myself not to pick but I can't stop i sometimes dont even realize i'm picking my skin, i do it unconsciously. I am so embarrassed to go out with out make-up, I never do anymore. I thought i had a low self esteem before (despite everyone saying how pretty i am) now it has completely taken a nose dive. I wish someone could rescue me, i sometimes wish there was someone who could save me from myself.
pickerallmylilfe
January 11, 2009
I'm 27 years old, almost 28 and I am like you. I am very outgoing, have friends, I feel confident - except when I am picking or directly there after, and am in general very happy. And I think I always have been happy. I've always made it a priority to be happy and do things that fill my life with joy and satisfaction. But after 27 years of picking my body - my little almost non-existent pickables (love that you called it this!) until I get to them, my nose, my ears (a recent obsession is cleaning my ears), my cuticles is another big one. I also itch my genitals, which is new in the last four years. As I get older I feel like I my pickables are expanding... and it's starting to reflect on my self-esteem after all these years. Recently I have really started to try to restrain myself from picking - finding root causes, breathing, more yoga, more walks, I'm even trying out the 4-step OCD Brain Lock treatment. I really don't want to use medication so I am trying all I can. One thing I want to share with everyone is that in the last three months that I have become hyper aware of my picking and the realization that I really want to stop, I have STOPPED making impossible expectations to live up to. I think the Brain Lock steps helped me realize that if you want to stop doing something and you put your energy into it, and then, in a moment of frenzy, you just find yourself in front of the mirror and, and ahhhhhhhhhh you can't stop. When you do stop, instead of feeling even more upset about it (although its important to allow yourself to feel your emotions), just say to yourself, as I do, "Today, at this moment, my picking won. It's okay, next time, it will not. I will walk away from the mirror..." - or changing the language to whatever works. It's just something I have found to be useful. And I don't want to give off the wrong impression, some days I stop trying to help my CSP addiction because I think healing will take more energy than not.... but each day is a new day, and each day I hope we all have more energy to heal ourselves.
sweetpea36
June 08, 2009
Hey there Kiwi. Yeah I'd say I'm happy and have a generally content good life .. and I think so would my friends. But inside is a completely different story. This is included in self harm / self injury and I've found info on their websites very helpful in understanding the CONCEPT of why I do what I do - very interesting, but how to change that hmmm that's a whole different ball game. I think I have a huge anger problem - but instead of getting volatile and blowing up at other people (probably because I'm scared that they may be better able to fight back and then I'd come off second best) I turn inwards on myself - so instead of it being explosive it's implosive (like when the demolish buildings). I battled for a looooooong time to recognise and acknowledge that I have anger issues - because I dont rant and rave and swear and pull zap signs or push and shove ... it just all gets directed internally - I'm extremely hard on myself and super self critical. I'll make allowances or excuses for other people's bad/poor/inappropriate behaviour but not my own. Me, I must be perfect and totally in control all the time. I think I'm impossible to live with because I'd really like people around me to agree with me and do things my way. Ridiculous isn't it.
lena85685
January 03, 2009
I was 14 when i started picking on pimples on my face. I would have brown spots after words. It was mostly my for-head. I would just touch all over my face to see what bumps i could pick off. Doing this also made most of my for-head red and sometimes I would have to leave my house looking like that,foundation doesnt help.Im 20 now and I still do the same thing. When my face clears I love it, but when I get one pimple or little bumps I cant help but pick it off, when I know what will happen if I do mess with them. I also cant help but pick on my lips. I will put carmex on them and when they start to heal I can feel the skin so I mess my lips up all over again.

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