My story,

I am 16, i have been picking my scalp sense i was about 12. I dont remember Why I started Picking for the first time. But i have figured out Basically what caused it. So heres my story, when I was about 9 I was sexually assaulted by a female over the course of like a year. And I have been Bullied for many years. My parents are never home , they like to focus on their career (which i don't really mind.) so for the most part i have been independent for a long time. My Sister when she was 15 (i was 12) became pregnant and had an abortion. I have no anger or hatred towards her , i love my sister and i support her.But my parents couldnt deal with the shame and the embaressment so they moved my family like 5 states away from where i used to live. I was ok with it , it was hard though because i only lived in that town all my life, so we moved , lived in that place for 2 months and moved again like 3 hours from there. Which i seriously thought i was dealing with it ok.My sister rebelled and my brother is a recluse so i dont really see him. My grandparents hate my family and the let us know all the time. My mom used to smoke but she quit by using chantax, and many people dont know but one of the side effects of chantax is personality change and you can become bipoloar it can be just a short term effect or it changes you forever. sadly my mother after 4 years is still Bipolar and had a personality change. i miss my old mom alot,Its like shes not the same mom i had, like my mom died, and was replaced with her, My mom did quit smoking but instead She became an aloholic. she passes out every night and its either my dad or my job to put her to bed. My parents dont trust me and are really strict on me becuase they are afraid ill do the same thing my sister did, but i wont. MY mom is very critical on me , If i get a 99 on a test she will say why not a hundred. or your a faliure, . its like im never good enough for her. But thats ok, i gave up on her ever coming back to normal. Also ontop of that people general dont like me. Ive been jumped and attacked a couple of times, for no reason. But hey its life. But in the end i becam suicidal and tried to end my life multiple times..Pills or cutting. i have had over 200 self inflicted cuts. But i have stop , those are all my problems that i figured play the role why i Pick. I used to be really bad when it came to pick. i used to pic till scabs but i have learned some self control, and now i scratch instead of pick, I Do it about everyday for like 10 mins, i have Controlled it like this for a while, My bestfriends Know but my parents do not, i would like to be able to evenutally tell my parents and be able to end this compulsion, if you have any tips , i would really appreciate it . Thanks and good luck with your problems <3