HOW DID I GET HERE !! :(

Hi everyone ... What can I say but I am so glad to have recently found such a website. Since I was little my parents use to put gloves on my hands because I would pick at everything. I never really noticed how bad this "problem" was until recently.. I have had some life altering changes, and I always considered my picking to be just a "bad habit". I hate dry scabs on my face, arms, anywhere for that matter. So I have to pick it until when i run my hand over it, I feel nothing. This can be while I am on the phone, while I am studying, driving, in the shower. It won't matter. I began getting acrylic nails and that helped because the dullness around the edges make it close to impossible to break the skin.. until of course you GET YOUR TWEEZERS.. I recently found out that my boyfriend of 2 years is actually married, and is having a child. I then got fired from my job, and then I found out that I had not passed the bar exam yet again. My anxiety has never been stable and I have been through some hard times. But I think I have hit rock bottom. A couple weeks ago I managed to spend almost ten hours in front of a mirror with tweezers until I had completely annihilated my face. My back and legs hurt and neck was stiff from standing there, but I was adamant to get every hair off my chin, and every thing off my face. Often I convince myself that there is a hair follicle behind the little tiny bump and the next thing I know i have a wound the size of a dime on my face and I am bleeding.. I don't know what is wrong with me. But I am ruining my face. I also have recently been developing exzema it seems, on my forearms, and under my chin. Almost think it might be hives. I don't know, but if I don't do something I am so scared of what is going to happen to me. I check my lymph nodes all the time to see if they are swollen, because then I will know I have a serious infection and then I will start antibiotics.. I feel like such a freak. I am studying for the bar exam yet again, and I don't leave the house and well... you can just imagine what that allows time for.