My commitment to FINALLY quit!

I'm still super bummed about how much I picked Monday =( It looks like I have boils all over my face! I havent picked at all today, but I was tempted. That's the most frustrating part; that even with my face in the condition it's in I still want to pick and do more damage. It's because I feel the need to look perfect all the time and when I see an imperfection, I want to get rid of it. I'm not really sure how I havent quite grasped the concept that I do a lot more damage than good. I think typing it out for other people to read will help me to realize what I'm doing to myself. Today absolutely sucked. I only went outside once to let the dog out and pick a cucumber from my garden. Someone came to the door and I hid behind the couch... I think that's a bad sign. Anyway, I'm going to bed soon and I'm praying that I look better in the morning, but I'm going to need a mircale.

Krickster, I love your idea of trying to leave the house with make up as you normally work from home. I say this because I wreck my own face when I am in my holidays away from work. I think a lot of your dermatilomania might also be controlled the same way as mine: in response to having to leave the house. Like you, I am fortunate to have an affectionate partner who wants me to heal. But somehow I look horrendous in my time away from work, since I know I do not have to be seen by the public. Yet when i pop out and of course conceal my wreck with a beautiful layer of make up, the smoothness makes me calm down the picking. So for you, I belive a helpful idea might be to pop out more regularly, even if it just for groceries. Yet the key is make up, for confidence and to put yourself at ease even for a few hours. Also, I read on another dermatilomania site that make up is never rarely touched by skin pickers as we take pride in beautifying ourselves. Yes it is a perfection thing. If you don't wish to go out everyday, simply wear make up from the morning till you are about to go to bed, but wash it thoroughly. That way you will look like the better version of yourself at home and feel the need to match up your own skin to the clear complexion appearance of make up. Also you can then set goals like tryigh make up without concealer to monitor how much your scars have faded i.e. let the make up look a bit trasparent. Or you can invest money on your skin by regular facials if you have the gutts, since you will feel answerable or applauded some other weeks by the skin therapist. Being monitored puts us in line sometimes. Hope all this helps. As a CSP for ten years, I have found this is the only solution that calms me down sometimes. Yet still a lot to achieve. PS. You're amazing for making it a few days already :)

Hey everyone! It's been one week since I destroyed my face and left myself under emotional house arrest. I can happily say that my face is relatively under control. My skin does not heal anywhere near as quickly as it did in the past... another fabulous reason to quit ASAP! I'm surprised it hasnt healed completely yet, but I guess my skin can only take so much damage before it starts to get really irritated. I have not done any serious damage, just squeezed one or two things on my chin that in my opinion HAD to go! I also picked off a scab on my cheek because it was really flaky and I coulsnt get my foundation over it. Picking it off actually helped smooth out the skin, but it was pretty red again. The one thing I did that I'm angry about is I "clipped" a bump on my left cheek under my eye. This thing has been on my face for almost a month! I dont know if it was a bug bite gone bad or what, but it was pissing me off so I clipped it with nail clippers lol The bump has gone down, but now its a dark scab =( I did that 2 or 3 days ago and I'm hoping the scab will go away in time for the weekend. I am still picking at my cuticles and other stuff, but I'm not really concerned about that at the moment. If I could cut out the time I spent leaning over the bathroom sink and squeezing EVERYTHING on my face, I'd be the happiest girl in the entire world! My husband is playing a huge role in my attempt to quit =) He's developing an incentive program for me so I get rewards if I don't pick for certain amounts of time. I think it's an awesome idea! It's nice to have someone else involved to keep me accountable. I'll have to answer to him every night and let him know whether I picked or not. I hate to lose and I really hate to disappoint my husband, so I think this is going to be very effective =) We are going on a mini vacation this weekend for my birthday, so I'd really like to look nice for that! We are camping on a beach, so I would LOVE to be able to go without makeup and feel confident about it. I'm sure knowing that's coming up will be pretty good motivation to not touch my face. Thank you all for your encouragement and tips =) Hope you all have an awesome week!!

Welp, I spoke a little too soon. I squeezed a bunch of white heads on my chin. I dont think it will bruise and look crazy like last time because I didnt pick for very long. I just squeezed the bad guys and walked away. I squeeze hard though. And I always dig with my nails. Ugh. I AM proud that I walked away though before I went to the rest of my face, so thats good! My hubby is home now so we can work on our incentive chart =) Hopefully it works! And hopefully I didnt do too much damage just now! This is such a ridiculous disorder.

Last night right after I took my makeup off I picked at my chin again =( I only focused on one pimple, but I did a bit of damage. I have a very large scab today that I'm seriously praying will go away soon. Its relatively flat so I could easily cover it with makeup. I'm still extremely frustrated. It looks like a week without doing severe damage is my limit. Dennis and I are finishing my incentive chart now so hopefully that will motivate me enough to stop. It takes 21 days to create a new habit, so when I go 3 weeks without any picking, I'm getting a natural chemical peel to smooth out some of the minor scaring I have. I am REALLY looking forward to that, so I dont want to screw this up! I am confident that I really can do it this time =) Even though I am disappinted with how I look, I still plan on going camping this weekend. Hopefully my skin will have evened out by then.

I am happy to say I have been doing very well this week! The incentive chart my husband helped me make is very helpful! We made a list of all the things I hate to do that I'd have to do if I picked... I REALLY dont want to paint the bathroom, so i WILL NOT pick! I squeezed one big whitehead on my chin this morning, but I'm learning the self control I need to not continue to pick. It's hard to not squeeze things when I do my eyebrows since I'm so close to the mirror, so I think I might start going to get them done somewhere from now on. My birthday is in 2 days and I am thrilled that I will be able to go out and feel good about myself =) I keep reminding myself how good this feels in hopes that I wont ever pick again! Wish me luck!