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makeitstop , 31 Aug 2012

I can not stop.

I can not stop picking. I'm sixteen and going into my Junior year and I'm so embarrassed. This stupid acne has been going on for six years now and I am sick of it. It's such a problem. This is what happens: First thing, I'll get an itch so I go to scratch, either on my face(forehead) or shoulders. Second, I go to scratch it and feel a bump, some kind of blemish. So I itch and try to scratch it off cause in my head I'm telling myself that it'll be better if the bump is gone. But then the blemish starts bleeding. Once it scabs, I go at it again, whether I saw it in the mirror or my hand decided to wander without me even knowing. So I keep picking and picking without even realizing it half the time! I'll shout at myself in my head "Stop it! You're only making it worse!" But I don't stop until it's bleeding again. I can't even give myself a chance to heal. I can cover up a little on my face with skin-clearing makeup but when it comes to my shoulders, there's nothing I can do. I couldn't where tank tops or anything of that type all summer. I wash my face and shoulders regularly but the acne still comes back. I don't what to do. I'd feel so pretty if I didn't have this acne but it makes me feel so damned ugly. A couple weeks ago I asked my mom to take me to the doctor to ask about antibiotics. She said yes but that was almost a month ago and knowing my mother, I doubt it will happen. Tonight I've tried an aspirin face mask, we'll see how it goes. It's supposed to sooth redness and breakouts but right now the scabs are my problem. I've been trying everything for the past six years. Something should work eventually, right? -O

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