Trying to stop

Hi... I'm so glad that I found out I'm not alone here. I need to vent and write down my story hoping that someone understands what I'm going through. Here goes... I'm 21 years old, and started obsessing with my face when I was around 12. I started having breakouts around that time of the month, but nothing out of this world. But it was to me. I couldn't accept that my skin wasn't smooth anymore. I was always consious of my acne, they were affecting me in all areas of life, I started to hide away in my room, making up excuses not to go out. I had no self esteem. While my friends were going out, talking to guys and looking forward to the weekend, I used to dread the weekend cause I knew that I would probably have to spend it inside. I tried to hide this from everyone, I tried my very best to still be the normal upbeat self I had been pre-acne. I did my very best to seem confident at school, out with friends, and while dating. But I was a wreck once at home infront of the mirror picking away and crying myself to sleep at night. To make things worse, my boyfriend at the time used to make fun of my acne, no matter how well I covered it up with make up. I was always not skinny enough, not beautiful enough, and I used to take his comments all in silently. We broke up a year later, and it seemed as if all his negative comments about me were haunting me everyday. My picking got worse. I started picking my back, my legs, and got even worse on my face. Fast forward 5 years... at 21 I have an amazing boyfriend with whom I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, have a good job, and amazing friends & famlily. And yet, my picking is getting worse with time. I do not have acne, but I pick away at every tiny blackhead, scab or zit I see. I cancel plans, lock myself inside, and I am fed up of living this way. I'm so young and have so much to be thankful for, I CANNOT understand why I'm doing this to myself for nearly 10 years straight. I try to brainwash myself saying 'I will not touch my face today', but to no avail. My boyfriend really wants to help me but he doesn't know what he can do anymore. He has now found a physchiatrist and has convinced me to make an appointment with him. If this doesn't work, I don't know what will. I don't want to be a model or be a star, I just want to be a normal girl with a normal and happy life. It seems like it's so much to ask for :( Thanks for reading, would appreciate your comments. x