my experience

Hi, I'm new here. I've been looking at this site for months now and thought I'd join in. It helps me to know I'm not alone in dealing with this illness. And it's a tough one, no doubt about it. I'm 58 years old and have been a skin picker for years. It's only been the last couple of years that it's been particularly bad, so bad it's led to hours in the bathroom, and some serious scarring on my face. Add to that the fact that I work for a dermatologist! I know, talk about humiliation! But, as hard as I tried, and I TRIED HARD, there wasn't enough will-power within me to get this thing under control. So, I've been seeing a psychiatrist, and she prescribed Lexapro, a common treatment for depression and OCD, months ago. It helped some, but not enough. Now we have added a drug that has just recently been used to treat Impulse Control Disorder (ICD). It's not a new drug, been around a long time. It's actually an anti-seizure medication. But it's just recently been used to treat ICD and other mood disorders. I'm only in my third week with this drug, Zonisamide, and I believe I am seeing some results. My doctor and I are cautiously optimistic! If this works, it will be like a miracle to me! I will keep you posted. Believe me, I can relate to so many of you out there. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. It's "one step forward - two steps back" much of the time. It's hard to be kind to yourself. Just remember, it is an illness. There is a chemical side to this for many of us. You don't want to pick, but after you do you get a feeling of calm. It may not last long, but it does happen. This is a strange chemical reaction in the brain. I'm not saying this is the case with everyone, and I certainly don't pretend to have all the answers - not at all! I just wanted to throw this out there, what I'm experiencing. Maybe you can relate - maybe it can help someone. I wish everyone the best with their struggle. You are all wonderfully, beautifully created. God Bless!