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Mirror-pain , 17 Nov 2012

Destroying my face

I have been obsessively picking at my skin since I was 13. I had no idea that there was anyone who would understand. Sometimes I pick for hours at tiny blemishes that I need a magnifying mirror to see. I can't stop. Sometimes I have picked for 5 hours solid and only stopped as I had pins and needles and my hand goes numb. I am so ashamed and then I have to work out how I am going to cover all the wounds with make up so I can face the world. Its so bad at the moment that make up won't help. I have had one of the worse years, losing my fiancé to cancer. I feel like I am vain but I just want to look normal. I would love to wake up and not think about my face or look at a mirror. This effects me every day. I don't want this obsession any more.
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SpottyFace
November 18, 2012
Hi There Mirror-Pain, I am so sorry to hear about your fiance, I can't imagine how difficult that must be. Aside from that, I know exactly what you deal with on a daily basis because I struggle with the same issues. Make up can't cover open wounds...wounds that are the size of dimes and even quarters. Its exhausting to have to worry about how to make yourself presentable..especially when you have to go to work. I just want to have normal skin and to be able to engage in normal activities! This disorder is extremely debilitating, I know! My heart goes out to you..Big Hug!!
Mirror-pain
November 18, 2012
Thank you. It's been a horrible year and I can see there is a direct link with stress and this condition for me. I have been suffering for 20 years. I just can't stop. The stress involved in getting ready to leave the house and the pressure of having to go to work is awful. I would pay thousands for new clear skin. My skin was never really bad to start with, I made it that way. I pick at tiny things that no one else can see until I have squeezed and scraped my face until it's red raw. Makes me so depressed. How long have you had this condition? Has anyone on here recovered from it? I get so paranoid that someone might see me without my make up and see all the damage I have done. I hate my face, but I hate what I have done to it more. I miss the freedom of just being able to wake up and shower and go out and do what you want. I avoid anything that might make my make up come off. Gym, swimming all the stuff I enjoy. It's a nightmare. I am so glad there is a name for it and this forum. This is the first time I have ever admitted having this problem. Big hugs to you too xxxx

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