Acne Excoriee - My Story

I never had the opportunity to tell my story, as I didn't knew it was a "problem" until last month. My earliest memory from picking my skin (well, acne, I only pick acne) is when I was in 5th grade. My cousin has an obsession with picking other people's acne, and all I can remember is that I wanted to try, but the thing is that I couldn't stop. I started when I was around 12, and I'll turn 19 in a couple of months. My mom took me too see a dermatologist when I was in 7th grade, and that didn't helped. More than acne, my problem was scars. I remember it started with my face, then in the upper part of my back, and then in the lower part, and then in my chest. My aunt recommended me another dermatologist and my mom took me when I was in 9th-10th grade. She was very good, but again, I kept picking my pimples -not only once, but as many times it was required- and my mom decided not to take me with her because she was basically wasting her money. I have to say that I tried every line for acne in the market. It helped me, but I got "no results" as I was still picking my acne. Back in 2010, I had some problems related with eating disorders, depression, self-injury and suicide. I feel grateful to say they're over now. During the past 7 years, my family always points when I pick a pimple, they give me long speeches about having to stop, for my own good, and I wish I could take their advice, but I couldn't explain that picking is a compulsion that unfortunately I can't control. Last year I was investigating in the internet and I came across the term "dermatillomania". I was about to tell my mom about this, but unfortunately the defintion doesn't suit me: I don't pick my skin, I pick my "pimples". I completely ignored that term, and I kept thinking that what I had was unique and it was a problem I was the only one that has it. Last month, I saved a little, and I told my mom I wanted to get rid of my scars forever, and that I'll pay the dermatologist, again, but in this case, I'll make my best to not pick again. She took me, and my dermatologist (who knows me for 4 years, I think) suggested me to see a psychiatrist, because my condition was called: "acne excorinee". Right now, I visit my dermatologist every 6-8 weeks, and hopefully I'll start to visit a psychiatrist soon.