Dont know what to do anymore

I am a 33 YR old male. Who still gets Acne. Mostly Blackheads. I have been getting them more so the past few yrs. Every time I see one I pick at it and pick at it until my skin is red and Damaged, I have been doing this since I was a teenager. I have no self Esteem over this. Most of them are on my Forehead, which is so noticeable that after I pick it leaves scabs and take forever to heal. I can’t go a day without looking in the mirror. Even if the Blackhead is so small other people can’t see I still squeeze them. I do not leave the house only to go to work when I do this, I am embarrassed that I do this to myself but do not know how to stop. I have a beautiful wife who I don’t even want to see me like this. I avoid people and doing things because of this. I just can’t believe I’m in my 30’s and still do this to myself, so ashamed. I don’t know what else to do anymore