Help....can't take it anymore (face picker)

Where do I begin......I've been picking since 2010. My picking is on my face. I use a tweezer to pluck at the mustache hairs I have. It started just on left side at the corner of my lip then I started to do it on the right side. I feel so ugly. Like a hideous monster. Every time I try to stop and my face begins to heal, I start up again and I get depressed. The thing is, sometimes as I'm doing it, I tell myself to stop but I don't/can't. Then after I do it I'm all upset and say I won't do it again, but I then I do. I know the consequences, I know how I end up feeling, yet u can't stop. There's a weird satisfaction I get from pulling the hai out. And once I start, I can't stop so I dig until I bleed and there's basically a hole in my skin. Then I have to wait what feels like forever for it to heal. I try to cover it up as best I can with makeup but it's still noticeable so I'm super self conscious. I'll sit in front of a mirror for over an hour sometimes just picking. Usually at night. I hide it from everyone because I'm soooo embarrassed. It takes me so long to get it covered with makeup enough so that I can step out in public. Sometimes I even pick at some chin hairs and cause a wound there too. I can't explain the feeling I feel because of this, or what it does to me. I feel ugly, gross, embarrassed, depressed, ashamed, low self esteem......I want to stop so bad, I don't understand why I can't. And like I said, sometimes it gets better but instead of letting it be, I start up again even though I know what's going to happen! If anyone has any tips on something that helped them stop, please share. Also any tips on how to heal the wounds and scars on my face. I would appreciate it and I'm willing to try anything.