Inner ear picking with needles, sharpest tweezers & broken hairpins

Both relieved and saddened to find there are others suffering out there with my problem. I was watching Strange Addictions on TV and wondered if anyone else has my problem... Inner ear picking with sharp objects. I have picked my ears until they bleed. It all started over 30 years ago when I would tightly twist the corners of my bed sheets as a child at night and continually stick it in my ear. I moved on to tissues twisted tight and I would wet the twisted tissues to experience a less painful ear picking experience. This has escalated in the last 20 years when a painful boil popped up in my ear. I used tweezers to squeeze it and found the pain and blood from it very comforting. After a couple of days I used a broken hairpin to scrape along the area and discovered a big scab had formed. I spent hours picking at this scab with tweezers. I pulled scabs out of my ear and bloody tissue that looked like liver and guts. After picking, I would used twisted tissue to collect all the blood. So many bloody tissue everywhere after picking. I would then pour peroxide in my ear and allow the scabs to reform over 3 days and start the entire process over again. I mainly pick at night while watching TV. I have picked up to 9 hours at a time. I now pick while driving which scares my family terribly so I resist until I get home or at red lights. The scariest moment I've had after was the morning after a long picking session, I lost the hearing in my right ear. I was falling over repeatedly and had vertigo. After over a week and my fear that my ear drum had burst after a series of loud popping and bubbling sounds and a foul odor from my ear, my hearing returned miraculously. I prayed to God to restore my hearing but I couldn't stop picking. At the worst, I used scissors to cut razor blade strips in my ear to slice along the walls of my inner ear. This cut my fingers and caused painful cuts outside my ear above my earlobe and I stopped doing that. Over the last five years, I don't pick as over and the dry skin breaks away and sounds like wings flapping in the wind inside my ear so I use sharp tweezers to remove the large pieces of dry dead skin from my ear. I find extreme pleasure removing this skin and would put olive oil in my ear and not pick for long stretches of time after the olive oil. Do not pick to see blood any longer but continue to click the tweezers in my ear and it brings me comfort. I have poked myself on my tweezers before and so have my family members who were unaware they were left lying around. I don't allow anyone to sit next to me while I pick to avoid hurting myself. I pull my earlobe to probe deeper in my ear to retrieve dead skin. This has to stop. At 42 ears old, I'm ready to be the voice of this disorder and other skin and scalp picking issues I have. Thanks for listening and I pray each of us finds peace in healthier habits and most importantly in leaving these disturbing self-mutilating habits behind to live our lives to their fullest potential. May God bless all who read and share my story.