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Destroying my face...and my life
This is probably just another "newbie" post to those of you that are actually reading this, but for me this is the first step to getting my life back. I've spent countless hours on this forum and I've finally gotten the courage to talk about my problem...at 6am and running on no sleep.
I should start off by sharing a little bit about my background - I'm a 27 year old female and never had a real blemish on my face until about 4 years ago. That being said, I'm Italian and a little on the hairy side so tweezers became my best friend at a very early age (I seriously own about 20 tweezers). As soon as I started having skin problems, I learned how to use my tweezers to perform very destructive surgeries on my face. That was the beginning of my downward spiral and it hasn't stopped since.
For the record, i have no idea what's wrong with my skin and dermatologists haven't helped. I go through phases of getting bumps around my upper lip, in the creases of my nose and on my chin. It's kinda like a cross between acne and ingrown hairs. Either way, there's something definitely inside these suckers and I feel the need to dig until I get it out. Four hours later my face looks and feels terrible, my towel is covered in blood and worst of all, nothing good even came out. I know that's disgusting and probably TMI, but it's the story of my life. I will sit in my bathroom for hours and hours digging into my face trying to get a hair or even a spec out. I won't even realize how long I've been in there until my neck starts to hurt from keeping it in the same stiff position for so long.
After one of my episodes, I try to do some serious damage control by applying every topical cream/gel/liquid medication you can think of. The result: weepy, yellow sores that take forever to heal...not to mention the scars. I won't leave my house for days because of the shame and embarrassment that I feel. I even try to avoid my husband because I look like such a hideous mutant (he thinks the sores are caused by cystic acne and has no idea that I'm the one putting the holes in my face). The sores eventually heal within a week or two, I start feeling a little better about myself...and then I catch a glimpse of a tiny blemish in the mirror and the whole vicious cycle starts again. I seriously hate myself. For one day of my life I just want to feel beautiful.
I've completely lost control of my life and I need to get it back. I don't expect to snap my fingers and everything will be better, but like I said, the first step was to share my story. Please feel free to share your's because I would love to hear it. We all need to support one another because this is a very nasty disease. And always remember, take it a day at a time :)
In reply to Hi there! I can totally by MysteriousSunshine
In reply to Thanks for taking the time by clawsflaws
In reply to Hi, girl, We're the same by nastyab
In reply to hi, i can relate, i spend by strawberry
In reply to hi, i can relate, i spend by strawberry