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Rosa , 09 Aug 2013

That's it, I'm gona stop

Basically I'm pissed off at this stage, I've been picking so long that it just has to fucking stop. The reasons why 1) Not having the sensation of raw skin or open sores on my face would be nice 2) It wastes so much time - just did a quick estimation, assuming I picked every day for the last 16 years for 1hr I have picked for a total of 5840 hrs which is 243 days ... thats actually shocking ... basically two thirds of a year haha I can definatley think of better ways I could have spent that time 3) Changing my head space is 100% necessary, its not fair on those around me specifically my beyond amazing boyfriend who I sometimes, to my shame, manage to unwittingly bring down with me when I'm having a bad day - as much as I don't like to look at it this way that's just fucking selfish. Its not gona change over night but I have to learn to have no mercy and make myself plough on through the tough days. My boyfriend said to me yesterday 'happiness is much harder work than sadness' - and I like to avoid hard work as much as possible, that changes from now! 4) For some reason no matter what I achieve in life, the fact that I have not managed to over come this diminishes everything to the point of insignificance. As a mark of respect to everything I've done so far and as a springboard to future battles and successes I will over come this. 5) This forum needs a topic that shows someone has been successful. I think those that have over come their own picking just stop posting on the forum. Obviously that's understandable and useful as everyone's posts are when in the midst of the struggle it would be even more encouraging to read a success story and know it is in fact possible and that we wont perpetually be in this cycle of self destruction. Comments are more than welcome, god knows I need your support guys! And feel free to join me. Not gona lie, I don't feel up to the task as its never worked before but fuck it one of the times I throw this dice its got to land on 6 ;) I've picked everyday this week but tomorrow WILL be a pick free day
7 Answers
Rosa
August 09, 2013
Also knowing this is now a recognized condition for some reason makes me feel strong - weird but there it is. It's mentioned in the pamphlet below also the tips may be useful to some of you. Its weird reading my inner thoughts / motivations on a page written a world away by people who I have and never will meet http://www.ocdla.com/epubs/spdcspkptc2.pdf?utm_source=All&utm_campaign=follow+up+-+CSP+ROADBLOCKS+-+CSP+GROUP+ONLY&utm_medium=email
rubberducke
August 09, 2013
Yes it will. And I have also noticed that nobody posts success stories. Hopefully soon we can post our own.
Rosa
August 11, 2013
So even though yesterday wasn't fully a clean sheet, I only picked one or two full blown spots and peeling scabs which only happened coz I was plucking my eyebrows (always a danger time), so I'm not gona beat myself up about it. Today I had 'the urge' and picked one or two but pulled myself out of it, washed my face with a scrub and now have a vitamin e face mask on. So far I'm trying to stay positive, it's all progress. There's no point aiming too high and ending up with a pick fest coz I cant meet those ridiculously high standards.
Rosa
August 15, 2013
So for 2 of the last three days I picked here and there but nothing major and I had one day without doing it at all. Today though I've just gone mad, I'm dissapointed as I feel the tingling of my chin, forehead and temples. I'm not gona look in the mirror to see the redness. Ultimately I've done better than in the same stretch last week - I've done a lot less picking and when I've done it it's been less intense. The problem as I see it when trying to recover is that gunk builds up in my pores in a way its never done before coz its never had the chance to, so when I do pick its way more satisfying or something coz the contents of my pores or a spot are yielded more easily and there's more or it for relatively less effort. But with that lower 'effort' my skin bounces back quicker and the areas I've picked stay irritated for way less time. So still picking but the appearance of my skin is improving (right now doesnt count)
rubberducke
August 16, 2013

In reply to by Rosa

My skin does that too. I always feel like if I pick off a scab, then there will be new skin underneath and it will look better, and it's usually true. I'm sure you're doing great. Good luck.
face picker
August 25, 2013
I am so glad I found this sight. I feel your frustration and Im with you. I had never heard of the term dermatillomania and it being a disorder until today. I also never knew that so many people suffered with this problem. I thought it was just something that I did. Its comforting to know Im not alone because this disease is a very lonely on. I never knew how to approach a solution so for my entire life it has been "the elephant in the room". With my newfound enlightenment I now feel armed and optimistic about slaying this demon. We all need support and I honestly thank God for being able to express myself to the extent that I have today. Its always been something that I just never spoke of. Im tired of the limitations that have been imposed on me because of it and I really am going to put one foot in front of the other and tame this beast. I will keep you all posted. Wish me luck.

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