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Annabe , 01 Dec 2013

First time poster

Hello, my name is Annabe and I have been picking my lips as long as I can remember. I am 19 years old and I also have trichotillomania. Recently I also started hitting myself, not very often but it gives great relief and the result is less obvious to the outside world (yes I now it is a very very bad switch). The picking has gotten a lot better the last couple of years. The trichotillomania has only gotten more worse. Knowing that it might be hard to belief (or maybe not since some of you might know my situation) that I am a happy outgoing (for those who know me) person. I have always been picking my lips it's just know that I realized that I am not a freak, and that other people have it to. I am also a college student, and I am dealing with a lot of stress. I've always had stress for school but never up to the point that it really started to bother me. Now it is really becoming really bad and the trichotillomania and the picking and the hitting is getting worser. I am just looking for people who experience the same thing, I've read a lot about picking I haven't really read anything about hitting. Thanks for reading my post!
2 Answers
BeatingIt
December 03, 2013
Hey girrrl, I'm also nineteen and in college and I've been picking my skin since I was little (I used to bite my nails, attack scabs, bite around my mouth, that sort of thing; now my back, shoulders, chest and face take the brunt of it.). I don't know why I do this to myself, I know there are a million reasons but I've never exhibited any other signs of anxiety or compulsive behaviour yet this seems like a triple threat. Addictive, self-harming AND an attack on physical/mental body image. > It's only yesterday that I identified the first phase of a 'session' or whatever and it's 'finding'. Running my tongue over my lip, leaning in to the mirror, smoothing my fingers over my skin to feel for edges of flaking or little bumps or whatever else. When I thought of all these things I told myself to just stop when I started searching and it was then that I realised just how much I do. >Lying in bed writing in a journal about trying to ignore the cracked edge of skin on my lip that I just kept returning to, it's so odd. I've hidden it well enough I think, people just think I have back-ne or something but it's time to stop. I've marked a line around the bathroom mirror in tape to that I'm not allowed to cross and I'm going to try not to search. Can you imagine being free of this? I want my body back, I want to be like that girl next to me in the lecture without a touch of make-up on and a spotty forehead that she clearly doesn't think twice about. >I'm sorry to hear about your movement toward hitting but I won't lie. The other day I thought 'maybe I could pinch my sides whenever I feel the need to pick then I would just have to bruises and I could say I have been learning tricks with a weighted hula-hoop or something. If it's a self-harm thing, surely this could sate it.' >I don't think it is a self-harm thing though, I think it's just the only way I know how to express my otherwise imperceptible anxiety. Yet that didn't stop me from hoping just self-harm would work, because then I could knock one of the triple threat, two bruises just doesn't class as a real attack on my image when compared with years of tearing my own skin apart. It doesn't matter though, apparently this is the form of self-mutilation for me until I tackle deeper issues, no transfer to hyperventilating or teeth-grinding. >Do you think this one of those things we can deal with without having to 'tackle the deeper issues'? because honestly I don't know what mine are and if it's stress from my everyday life then that's not going anywhere anyway. >Do you think we should tell people who don't have dermotillomania about this? Would it help?
miss scarlett
December 16, 2013
Hello, I am new to this forum and cannot believe how many people are going through the same thing as me! I have been picking at the skin around my nails for years (as long as i can remember) its such a compulsive thing - sometimes i dont even realise i am doing it. i pick the skin til it bleeds. I dont know what made me, but i googled "skin picking" the other day and found so many websites and forums about the disorder - i felt a bit overwhelmed but also a bit relieved that other people are going through the same thing as me. I dont really know how to stop - are there any suggestions??

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