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Hiding
Has anyone here ever considered just NOT hiding the picked skin? This is something I roll around and around in my head all the time lately. What if I just wore a skirt (I pick my legs)? I have nice legs, shape-wise, they are just covered in brown patches. Don't get me wrong-- I hate them, and I think they're hideous, but I wonder what they would look like to others, really.
Sometimes I will see someone in the street with, for example, a large part of his face covered in a different colored patch. He can't do anything about it. He HAS to go out like that. My thoughts at that point range from being so grateful that my face is ok, hating that I'm so vain, and thinking how brave that person is for just being out there and wearing it proudly. It must take a LOT of courage. Or maybe it doesn't, if this is something someone grew up with. Something they were teased about as kids and got over, just like we all did about whatever it was we were teased for.
And I think, maybe someday I can work up to that. Just a little at a time. I tried once, with just the littlest bit of shin showing. I survived, but I was really terribly uncomfortable and anxious. I felt like everyone was staring at me, looking at me to try to figure out what was wrong with me. But I never judge the person with markings on his face. Is that because I'm a picker so I have this other perspective on it? Or are most people this way-- they see the irregularity, the think, "huh," and then they go on with their lives?
In my saner moments, I suspect that everyone is so busy thinking about what they hate about themselves, what their boss said to them, or what they are going to have for dinner, that they really aren't devoting much time to react to my skin.
I want to try it, I do. I know that no one will say anything to me. And if someone does, I say I have a pigment issue and move the conversation along. I think the hard part will be keeping myself calm. Not letting the shame and the anxiety take over that moment and scare me back into long pants.
Does anyone have this kind of experience? Stories to share? Interest in trying it with me?
Thanks, everyone. You have no idea how lucky I feel to have found you.
May 03, 2009
i've never felt the need to cover up my scars and scabs. i dont know why. i've just always been pretty comfortable with it cuz i've been doin it since i was a kid. i say..throw caution to the wind and be comfortable! screw everyone else! i know its easy to say..but when you start to feel a little bit free...oh its so worth it. the time when i'm carefree and loving life is when im on the swings..and the wind is blowing against my skin and for those few minutes, i dont notice the scabs..when the wind blows against my skin, my skin feels so smooth..the protruding scabs aren't there for that little bit of time. i dont know..maybe im just rambling. im kate by the way. if you'd like to chat, my screennames for both AIM and yahoo is: ra1nb0wb00tay
May 03, 2009
I have been a chronic picker for about the last 5-6 years. I know I had an obbsession before then, since I was a small child. For some reason it has just become worse within the last 6 years or so. I covered my arms up all the time. No bathing suits, tank tops, sleevless dresses.
My wedding is June 14th of this coming summer. My dress is beautiful and sleevless. I have not picked in three days. I have been writing on this forum for the last week. I am telling myself everynight " don't pick right now. The wedding is so close. Summer is almost here. I want beautiful, smooth skin. I think about my sexy bikini I want to wear this summer. All the pretty summer dresses I have in my closet that have been hanging there for years!