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Katpippy , 29 Aug 2014

New girl obsessed

Hi everyone, I have just found this forum and am so comforted to know I'm not alone with this. I have been picking for about 15 years I reckon, since my early teens! i remember the very first time. I had found blackheads on my chest, and my mum had (stupidly) mentioned that if i squeezed them something would come out. I wish I had never tried it, but I thought I would see if it was true and squeezed one. A hard yellow seed came out, and I remember actually feeling sick that it had been in my skin. Ever since then I have squeezed any belmish or slight lump I can find. Anywhere. Back, chest, arms, stomach, legs, bottom. I am constantly touching my skin, all day, searching for anything that isnt completely smooth and squeezing at my skin. It's a habit, but i also do it more when I'm stressed. As some have mentioned, it's like a control or escape mechanism. It's a comfort somehow. I have tried to stop in the past but it didnt work. It a way, I like picking because I just can not stand leaving that stuff in my skin, it HAS to come out, and I feel satisfied when I have removed it. Therefore, how on earth can I stop?! my skin is blotchy and it's embarrassing, yet it's not enough to make me stop?!
5 Answers
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thebeautifulugly
August 30, 2014
I'm so happy for you that you found this forum!! I remember when I first discovered it and I had the feeling like I FINALLY didn't feel alone anymore. I knew there were people like me out there, who struggle every damn day with picking their skin, and it was a very liberating thought. There is so much shame associated with skin picking, but it soo doesn't have to be like that, haha. Since discovering this website I've told my boyfriend and one of my best friends about my skin picking, and it was such a relief to get my secret off of my chest. I am the same way as you-- I feel the need to get things out of my skin, even microscopic things. I get a sense of relief when I pop the little white things out, or pop a pimple, or squeeze out little whitheads/blackheads/ingrown hairs. Then when they scab over I get pleasure out of picking and peeling off the scabs over and over again, until regretfully I am left with many scars. I hate what I have done to myself, and I like to think I am stronger than this affliction, but it seems that skin picking is beating me. I am still struggling with this habit after 10+ years and I am beginning to think "is this just what my life has become?" Just constant digging at my face, chest, arms, back, etc., and destroying my once pretty skin? But I can't think like that because I know there is a way to stop this. It's not impossible, right? So it must be possible. We can do this :)
Katpippy
August 30, 2014
Thank you so much for your reply! It is so nice to know I'm not the only one. Whatever I'm doing I am feeling my skin while im doing it, searching for something to squeeze. Its ironic that I am obsessively trying to clean out my skin but by touching it all the time I am actually making it more dirty!
healinghands
August 31, 2014
Me too it is a relief to know I'm not the only one, because I am so embarrassed about damaging my own body. It's pointless, wasteful, and I am giving up sleep or time with the people I care about to do it. I was doing pretty good the last time I posted here about a month ago, and then I had one stressful night and succumbed to the bad habit once again. I got to the point my face was so clear I went one day without makeup, and then ruined it all just to get out a stupid white seed under the skin that no one ever noticed except me. It's like I FORGET how bad my skin looks after the picking, I believe a lie that I can just get it out and move on...but no, if I start I don't have the self control to stop and a little tiny thing becomes a huge ugly thing. I hate knowing there's something under my skin too, but somehow I need to accept it being there and wait for it to go away on its own. I think it's the same as I need to accept myself as imperfect.. I know Jesus loves me no matter what and because of what He did he takes away all my stains and blemishes. So I need to trust him in ALL things instead of trying to take things literally into my own hands. I often become anxious when I speculate what others think or if I offended them in any way. That in itself is pointless and a waste of energy. I know bedtime is my biggest trigger...another person here suggested turn the lights off in the bathroom, and that helped me. I am slowly learning to identify the feeling that is getting to me and pray through it, embrace and accept that is how I feel and then prayerfully and rationally decide if I need to take action about it or let it go. I'm going to check in here as often as possible because not checking in made me less driven to get out of the habit again.
Katpippy
August 31, 2014
Yes, that's what I struggle with, knowing there is something in my skin and needing to get it out, all of it. I am searching in case there is something there. In a way i enjoy getting it out, it's satisfying, but i hate the blotchy skin i then cause. I dont know how to accept there is stuff in my skin and let it go away on its own... :(
Katpippy
September 02, 2014
Argh, I'm getting really annoyed with myself cos every few seconds I find myself picking again. It's non stop, whatever I am doing there is one hand on my face, neck, shoulder or arm feeling around and squeezing. I don't even know I'm doing it!!! Help :-( I wish there was a support group near me.

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