Help - foot has gone numb - too embarrassed to see doctor

Hi everyone,

I have been skin picking for about 15 years I think and I'm still really young.
It has been going on in cycles, from skin on toes to balls of feet to fingernails then finger skin then face then lips now the soles of my feet using pins and nail clippers etc.
Anyway I usually go way too deep and cannot walk properly for a few days and sometimes not able to put any weight on my foot immediately after (the worst pain I've ever felt). I usually always go too far and bleed and pick the same area continuously for months, usually having let it heal up nicely before I self-sabotage and do it again worse.

Anyway the main point is, I'm too embarrassed to go to the doctor and am used to the rehealed skin to be numb/decreased sensation but I think maybe recently I went too deep in the middle of the bottom of my foot and now one side of my foot is numb (a whole month now). It sort of feels like stone (I can move my toes but not really feel the two small end ones moving etc). I usually have a hot/infected foot but this time it seems way more serious.

If anyone else has done nerve damage/had numbness etc please let me know whether it "just went away" or whether it was permanent etc.

Thanks