Online Test
Find out the severity of your symptoms with this free online test
Deepest wound on nose- any thoughts on healing?
So this is my first time ever using this site. After trying to convince myself I don't have a problem for 10 years, I desperately need some kind of support system to heal and learn to stop. So, I'm starting here. I have never talked to anyone about this ever. I feel so ashamed and do everything in the book to hide this habit.
So, usually I have a system to dry wounds so that I can cover them with make up. I obsess over making them flat to make them less noticeable. Even when covered, I can't stop worrying about people knowing what I'm hiding. This method has resulted in ice pick scars, which I desperately want to surgically fix, and sadly will likely never afford.
So here's my current situation I desperately need thoughts on: a couple weeks ago, I had a horrible pimple on my nose. This led to a very small wound. It got very close to healing, but then I noticed something white. In recent months, I've been discovered these white dots that look like pimples, but turn out to be these hard long columns. I asked my derm about them (she did not see them), who told me they were hair root sheaths. I can't find anything on the internet that quite describes what I am seeing. While I do want to understand what they are/if it's bad to be cutting them out/etc, right now I want to deal with the aftermath of my picking. After realizing what this white spot was, I kept digging and digging to find the most I've ever seen. I finally had sort of a scab (so light, just holding together), and I thought it was making progress. Today I could still see some more white spots, and just couldn't stop myself from opening this wound back up and taking them out. Even if I were to let it heal, I know I would make another wound later after losing the ability to not touch it. So, now I have this super deep crater of a wound on the center of my nose. Instead of trying to get this thing to dry to them cover with make up, I know I need to keep it moist. Everything I've found online says I need to. And I can't handle another dent in my face. Even when things are healed, the dents and scars kill my self esteem and attribute to my worsening social isolation.
My big questions are:
1) what's the best way to allow this thing to heal, and hope for the least amount of deep scarring? Not just what to put on it, but any methods to flatten it out with the rest of my skin?
2) I realize I simply have to keep a bandaide on this, and feel I have no other choice. I recently starting using liquid bandaide under make up, but I need this wound to stay moist and heal the best it can. I loathe that humans are so rude and feel the need to ask about everything. I have a special hated for these people. Is there a way to make the bandaide less noticeable? And the biggest question is, how do I face those nasty people? What kind of fake reason can I give if they ask? I would really hate to go back to hiding it in a way that it heals horribly and then scars even worse than it should. I already haven't been leaving the house on days off or seeing people, but I can't call in to work this week.
I desperately need help, and need to start here. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
The fact you have revealed your pain on this website is a very positive beginning. Continue to educate yourself and understand what dermatilimania is through this website. Then determine if you believe you suffer from it. Acknowledging you have is the beginning of your healing process. All the best to you Anonymous666.
Email me at memphisboneyard at google mail and I'll send you information on what I did to finally stop picking and heal my skin.
Hey Hon,
This is my first time, actually first message ever on this site but I have been a spectator a long time. When I saw your post about the wound on your nose- I immediately could relate because right now even though I have FINALLY healed and closed up my wounds and am winning my battle with much effort, I am now in the scar healing phase.... the one where you get happy you quit picking- which is a wonderful feat- and you'll feel it soon, but now Im in that "lemme sit back now and see all the damage I've done to my face" and I am so depressed over it. I MADE my face full of dents and scars, the worst being rolling scars on my cheek and 1 pothole on the tip of my nose on the left side of it. So that was the hardest one to quit picking at because I felt like I alwys had to landscape it because it was healing not the way it was before- even though I should have known that happens!- so I kept at it and I remember this layer of subcutaneous fat? what is that stuff?? Well, I learned that white lil panel is probably cartilidge and that is something that just doesnt grow back- I think unless major surgery that once thats damaged- its damaged. But I picked and picked and am left with a dent in my nose. However, I am probably giving you really bad advice here but I am able to kinda "sand the skin layer down a bit" so hopefully after time layers will shed and the dent wont be so noticable and how I have dabbled in this is buying a tub of aquaphor ( its been my savior!) and I put a glob on the end of a Q tip and slather it on the tip of my nose and by rubbing back and forth VERY CAREFULLY AND NOT HARD.... I could feel in places where I could tell there was dead skin or if I lightly rubbed it would peel this away and the clear aquaphor will turn whiteish because of all the nasti debris- this is gross I know and probably terrible to tell you, but every now and again I will do this to see if any dead skin is being stubborn.
However do this when your wound has FULLY healed. And it will be hard but this is how I finally got my wounds to close up- aquarphor slathering all over the face!!! if you put aqua over a wound and slap a bandaid on it and dont even take it off until its time to clean it heals wonders. then before bed I would SLATHER ON a - almost mask like of CALAMINE LOTION it dries it up and I swear it has helped with my discoloration and texture of other scars and scabs. Calamine lotion is very cheap. a few dollars. aquaphor CAN be expensive but there are several sizes at different costs and you can try a small tube out...and sometimes at CVS or any drugstore will offer their cheap house brand of aqua and its just as good. the texture is a bit harder to get to spread but you just spread it out hard enough and it will eventually melt softer so you can use.
What I did to finally stop picking? I was struggling for many years after having a clear perfect skin . I started when I was 30 after having a bacterial infection and then I just got hooked on picking as a stress reliever? I guess I have bipolar disorder so I have ups and downs. I almost felt like feeling the pain and the destroying of my face was how I felt worth wise. I could not stop. I would be so good and almost ALMOST have all my face healed up- which my goal was to not have 1 open sore on my face...but i would always get down to 1 and do good then break and just devour my face.... in a trance all night in the bathroom...hours go by...and then I get in the shower and my face stings and I would cry and cry because I slipped up . and then I never went anywhere because I was affraid of people asking my about my sores or bandaids .... and you are right people are so nosy and the few times i would go out- I would have to face the shame and embarrassment when I survey their eyes surveying my face full of sores and it killed me inside...r they would ask me what happened.... it is psychologically upsetting to have to "make up " something because how could i get so personal? So yeah I stayed homebody and I hated it...so ashamed. finally at 34- and I am well aware people suffer longer than I did and I am stll suffering...I have urges to pick all the time..... but I started talk therapy and she suggested that since I also have OCD- obsessive disorder- that why dont I look at it this way: instead of obsessing and giving in to tearing up my face why dont I obsess with doing the opposite.... the healing aspect of it.... obsess over the PREVENTION... meaning I pick most when I have acne or singular zits and I can never get them closed so why dont I obseess over caring for my skin and finding the right products to make sure I dont get the blips and blurbs on my face to entice me to pick anyway? and make sure I am over bandaided out or over aquaphoring.... go out an an be excited about buying a new skin care routine so that its awaitiig for me when I finally have all my wounds healed that I can immediately start a routine to even my complexion, heal some scars and really do my homework with researching all the best ingredients in the skin care I can buy to help my face... I know now that sounds like that is no help at all but one day I was just tired of it. I couldnt take it anymore. I needed this to stop and low and behold I took her advice and I am in the middle of doing my skin care routine hoping that I dont give in and start picking. I hope some of this helps and if you have any questions let me know :)