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I pick at my scalp
I believe it started around sixth grade. The picking, that is. I would scratch at my scalp until I pulled off a small bit of skin and then I would eat it. I'd do it at school mostly, due to anxiety, stress, and having to sit still for so long. Nobody really said anything about it, but I knew they noticed. Things like picking are hard to control, when you realize you're doing it you don't want to stop, you want to get a "good pick." But after that, you feel guilty. I think that guilt is one of the worst feelings ever. Whenever someone asks to touch my hair I panic a little, I don't want them to see or feel the scabs that adorn my scalp. I am so ashamed. Bleaching my hair is excruciating, but it's a necessary step when I colour my hair, as my hair is a darker shade. My family has been looking for a therapist for me for years, but there just isn't one in my area who is accepting new clients in my age group. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm a freshman this year and I'm afraid the stress of highschool will cause me to pick even more.
So I was JUST like you up until very recently. I'll keep this short but the ONLY thing that has worked for me, I discovered just a month ago. Everytime I pick, I smack the crap out of my hand. Sounds weird huh? But it's working!!! I don't have any issue with cutting or hurting myself or anything like that so I only see this as a positive. I smack the back of my hand so it really stings and I don't want to catch myself picking again. I've picked for over a decade and this is the ONE thing that's working. My picking is down probably 90-95 percent. I hope this helps! Good luck!
Hi Chaylea, I am struggling with this issue. I am 40 years old and also an addict. I have been clean for nearly 6 years and honestly I think I started this right after I put down the drugs. Huh, I literally just realized this, this very second. My scalp is completely ripped up. I also want that "good" pick and I also eat it right after and then feel ashamed. I am always mortified when I go get my hair colored. My hair dresser is kind enough never to say anything, I did once and she just said she noticed but nothing more, she is very kind. But I am still super ashamed and sometimes will cancel my appointment in an effort to "clear" it up. I always try to stop picking a week or two before my appointment but can never stop picking and I end up reluctantly going in. I have a really bad sore right now, probably my worst. You know I actually think about, like what if I get cancer and all my hair falls out and then the world will know. How sick is that? Like why don't I think like what if I get cancer, that will be so scary to have cancer. No, I think about the sores on my head. I need help. I want to stop. I am glad I am not alone.