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The healing process from being picked apart, what worked for you?
Just joined this site, though Iv'e been following the forums for YEARS...I've been a skin picker, poker and popper for over 10 years...my face, chest and bikini area have been my biggest problem areas...it's been an embarrassment that I have hidden since I started doing it...I've had to act like a bitchy prude to my boyfriend (and past ones as well) just to avoid sexual contact because of my skin picking issues...(especially when my bikini area has been picked and looks like I have an std even though that's not the case) I have been in a relationship now for about 3 years and we live together, which is fine and dandy...however he's either a highly sexual person or just highly sexually attracted to me...because of my low self esteem from my skin picking issues... I'm led to believe he's just a highly sexual person...every time he makes a move on me or wants to have sex I push him away because I've picked my chest, face and even my genital area to scabs, wounds and scars...and I don't feel sexy or sexually attractive with the way I look or what I've done ... And this has been causing problems in our relationship....I don't think he knows what I do or have done... I've tried my best to cover and hide the damage with make up , to remain intimate in low light , under sheets or blankets and in darkness if possible...since make up does not always conceal the damage Ive done...I'm so ashamed and depressed with what I do to myself...sometimes I cringe looking in the mirror at myself hating the fact that I have to face to world with my face looking the way it does, especially when make up doesn't successfully cover up my secret of despair and self loathing...what I was wondering, is how you have stopped yourself from picking and what worked best for you in your skin healing process ? I've tried tea tree oil and that didn't help as well as I had hoped, I've even tried tea tree oil soap... I've tried a witch hazel natural soap bar which I believe has helped with my healing process in the past. Lately Ive been doing the brags organic apple cider vinager on my picked skin and then putting organic coconut oil on it after... Not a dramatic change after a few days however...especially when I put foundation on the areas I've picked (even before I go to bed so that I don't look terrible and diseased when I wake up to my man) it's hard to do a healing regimen when I dont want him to see how Aweful I look without the make up ...it's so frusterating...can anyone give me some advice on how to clear up my skin without having to look like a monster to my boyfriend and the world ?
*Safe hugs for you*
You are not a monster. If you are, then I am as well, because...
I am the same way with my face. Twenty-plus years and I'm still hiding, longing most days to be an invisible girl. It's not as bad as it used to be, but it's bad enough, and out of control. I'm highly agoraphobic especially because of my face. The scars--it feels hopeless.
Have you seen a doctor or therapist about this? I am NOT a medical professional or expert of any kind except perhaps on my own life. :) A dermatologist (I'm trying to work up the major nerve and strength that it takes to leave the house for an appointment of any kind--but medical and dental are the worst--to get in to see a female dermatologist who might be more sensitive to the needs of a grown woman with a scarred and blemished face) is specifically trained in treating the skin, of course, but a regular MD or a psychiatrist *might* want to try a Rx such as Prozac that can sometimes help combat obsessive-compulsive disorder. I have debilitating OCD and it blurs the lines between itself and the skin-picking disorder.
So I can sympathize with you more than I can give answers to our problems. One thing that has helped, which just occurred to me (it's been in place so long that I don't think much about it these days), has been turning the mirror in my bathroom to face the wall, then covering the backside of the mirror with a lovely patterned fabric. We tried just covering the mirror and I'd pull the cloth back when the urges were bad. Which was often.
I firmly believe that hope always exists. In extreme situations, when all options have been exhausted, I try to bear in mind that scientists and doctors are always coming up with new treatments for what plagues our human bodies. So hang in there!
*Safe hugs for you*
You are not a monster. If you are, then I am as well, because...
I am the same way with my face. Twenty-plus years and I'm still hiding, longing most days to be an invisible girl. It's not as bad as it used to be, but it's bad enough, and out of control. I'm highly agoraphobic especially because of my face. The scars--it feels hopeless.
Have you seen a doctor or therapist about this? I am NOT a medical professional or expert of any kind except perhaps on my own life. :) A dermatologist (I'm trying to work up the major nerve and strength that it takes to leave the house for an appointment of any kind--but medical and dental are the worst--to get in to see a female dermatologist who might be more sensitive to the needs of a grown woman with a scarred and blemished face) is specifically trained in treating the skin, of course, but a regular MD or a psychiatrist *might* want to try a Rx such as Prozac that can sometimes help combat obsessive-compulsive disorder. I have debilitating OCD and it blurs the lines between itself and the skin-picking disorder.
So I can sympathize with you more than I can give answers to our problems. One thing that has helped, which just occurred to me (it's been in place so long that I don't think much about it these days), has been turning the mirror in my bathroom to face the wall, then covering the backside of the mirror with a lovely patterned fabric. We tried just covering the mirror and I'd pull the cloth back when the urges were bad. Which was often.
I firmly believe that hope always exists. In extreme situations, when all options have been exhausted, I try to bear in mind that scientists and doctors are always coming up with new treatments for what plagues our human bodies. So hang in there!
My initial reply seems to have been posted twice. I don't know why. Apologies.
I don't really have advice for anything that has worked for me, as the only product that used to work is no longer available. But I did want to reply and let you know that I am exactly the same way with my live-in boyfriend. I pick my arms and legs and cannot fathom how he is attracted to me because I see something hideous when I undress. I avoid sex a lot and will only do it in the dark. This is not like me. I used to be very open and visual. Not so much lately. He tells me that he doesn't see all my spots, he sees my curves, my face, my eyes. I am trying so hard to believe him. Just know that you're not alone. Sometimes there is comfort in just knowing that others are right there with you.
My psych doc wants to double my medications to see if that helps with the urges. I kind of think that this is more habitual.
I am debating whether I want to try this program to see if it helps at all as I have been unable to find someone in my area who is familiar with BFRDs.
I'm more of a frugal , don't have insurance or tons of money to go see dermatologists or therapists ... I read a lot of forums ;) and self help books to cope with some of my issues.... I'm glad to know that I , and we, are not alone in this desperate struggle ... I recently sent my boyfriend a really long message to his phone telling him of my condition and why I push him away when he wants to get close... It's been over two weeks now, and he hasn't said anything to me about it... Though he still says he love me and still wants to be intimate... I still pick and remained scabbed and scarred and still try to avoid sexual contact... And when I give in , I try not to look at him because I don't want to see him looking at my mess that I've created.... So yes... It's hard to believe he wants to he with me... I'm always worried that he could be unfaithful due to the lack of affection I give him... Or because of how many times I push him away.... :(
I worry about the same thing. We have been arguing lately and one of the issues is my complete lack of interest in sex. I also cannot afford therapy and am also looking at self help to try to cope with this. I have found some comfort and advice on a Facebook group for Dermatillomania. They post a lot of links to helpful websites. I thought about your posts and the areas you pick and am wondering if you have a problem with acne. A regular general physician could prescribe you antibiotics or antibiotic creams to help treat that. The other thing you could try is the pill. Bit cleared up the acne I had on my face when I started taking me it. It may be worth spending a little bit of money if it helps to clear up your problem areas.
Yeah, we argue a lot also... I break out a lot when I get stressed , and when that time of month comes around... As far as the other area , it's usually from sweat and especially from the ingrown hairs or bumps from shaving... And when I start getting stressed out or depressed is when I start picking really bad ... It's like a form of self harm... I used to be a cutter... And then started picking... I don't cut myself anymore because picking just seems to be more normal I guess? I dunno.... It looks bad to "normal" people either way, cutting or picking. But when I was a cutter I'd do it in places people couldn't see, now I'm a picker , picking places where people can see... It's so frusterating and embarrassing having to go to work, or in public and wanting to be intimate and not being able to because of my condition