touching my pimples

hi there

i have seen this website before but never really thought i needed to actually write something. however i am 31 years old and so tired and bored of this skin picking issues. i have been doing this for about 10 years now. however i wouldn't say i skin pick to the extent of making my self bleed. i find my self constantly feeling my face to see if i have a spot coming up.

however it is only when i get one of those deep under the skin spots that i totally freak out (cyst acne). this only happens to me every 3/4 months and it is just the one. however when it happens i don't eat, sleep and soscal life is ruined. I'm in front of the mirror constantly feeling/touching the cyst to see if it is getting better or worse. ill keep touching it. lightly running my fingers over it to see if it is getting bigger or not. clearly it is getting bigger cause I'm touching it however i cant stop the constant touching till i know that it is now flattening out and getting better, the moment i wake up and feel that it is not deep or is getting smaller my anxiety about it goes away instantly.

i know I'm impatient that a big thing about it.

im sick of this feeling. My partner, mum, work colleagues, everyone tells me that it aint bad but to me it is and seems bad and feels even worse.

i have Imperfections on my face. pit marks mainly from when i was younger and had worse acne so when i do get a deep under the skin spot it makes me feel as though it emphasis the other imperfections on my face and people must think I'm some freak.

if i get a white head i don't mind at all. happy to leave it on my face and let everyone see it. it doesn't bother me just these deep under skins ones as i know it is gona take ages for it to get better,

at the end of all this now compared to other discussions on here my situation may not be that bad but for me it is and need to talk about it.

if any one wants to chat let me know

jb