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Dissociating from self image.
How many of you go through a period of self harm and then sort of snap out of it and realize the damage that it's doing? I have noticed that at times I almost zone out and allow my mind to not be focused on my image...I try to avoid mirrors and dont take care of myself as much as I should. I guess its an attempt to deviate from the problem ( a form of denial ). Yet the damage keeps on being done..to the point where I eventually come back to my senses and realize wow how could I have not realized the damage that I have been inflicting on myself all these months? I guess maybe the mind tries to protect itself from disappointment. And there is an element of rationalization which prompts the skin picking behavior ...if I avoid the fact of the damage, then I can keep using the act of skin picking as an emotional crutch. All of this is usually a subconscious process. So the first step in healing and moving on from this behavior is to be constantly mindful of it. Constantly fully try to grasp the damage which you do to yourself. Yes its depressing, but maybe there needs to be a severe level of disgust with our behavior in order to prompt real change. After a two year hiatus of completely slacking off in self care, I am back to being mindful of the issue. It has caused me to go into a deep depression, but maybe this is the only route to take at this point. I am grieving over the damage I have inflicted upon myself in these past two years. Yet its just like a 12 step program, the first step is in acknowledging that you have an issue. And maybe a deep sense of acknowledgment fuels the grief and acceptance for real change?
I can totally relate to what you have just said and yes my hair is going grey neglecting my self image for the sake of scalp picking comfort
I see it almost the opposite way that it's almost like must work on focusing less on our image and focus more outwardly to get out of the cycle for good. It may be different for different people but I pick not subcontiously but as a hyper focus on trying to look perfect and remove imperfections and although it obviously does the opposite...the more I chase perfection and even the "best ways of healing" and analyzingn the damage the more I feed the cycle and the obsession. For most of us it's an obsession with fixing or removing imperfections that no one else would or at least should care about. The goal for me cannot be perfect skin, it has to be healthy behavior and hey, if that means I have some breakouts and bumps on my face...as long as I don't touch them that needs to be a win!
The weeks and months of remission that I have had occurred when I ignored my self image. But then my overall skin became dull since I didn't exfoliate with acids and I just looked worse.... although picked much less. :/