My treatment so far - 2 weeks

I am curious about these products/lines:
"Paula's choice"
"Mario Badescu"
"Acne.org Regimen"
Have you ever tried any of them?

Sorry - somehow the message I sent tripled!

...I read somewhere here about on mederma for scarring and calamine lotion. I bought these too, not sure when to use them. I may be exaggerating on my skin shopping - but need to see what works for me once and for all...!!

...Last but not least:
Just received and will try also "skinpep" products for pigmentation, "brightening enzyme & acid peel" gel, and the "glow white" serum.
On amazon.com I found the peel/gel. On amazon.uk the other one:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00LAWA6SI/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&q…
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B00SYLZ8TK/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8…

I was looking at the Neutrogena Spot treatment at a local CVS yesterday. Have you tried the Neutrogena Rapid Clear Acne Defense Face Lotion?
https://www.amazon.com/Neutrogena-Rapid-Defense-Lotion-Salicylic/dp/B00…
I am thinking of buying both and seeing how they work. The interesting thing is that they both contain 2% sylacilic acid while one product is much bigger and nearly the same price as the smaller spot treatment.
I use the Mederma PM Intensive Overnight Scar Cream. It has a nice consistency and isnt greasy. I use it as a light moisturizer. As for the calamine lotion...I tried it but it is very drying....I dont understand the appeal of it. Try it and let me know if you feel the same way.
How is your skin lately? Are you picking less, breaking out less?
I have been on antibiotics for this past week due to a tooth infection and thankfully I barely get a few tiny pimples. What a blessing to have clear skin without trying. My skin has also been less oily...so maybe its all the bacteria which causes increased oil production on the skin (the antibiotics control the bacteria, and therefore skin is less oily). And the picking compulsions are almost none. I wish this was my skin all the time!!! I am so sick of getting ugly red painful pimples that eventually turn into big whiteheads that throb from pain. It seems that I normally get at least one pimple every day, whether it be small or large.
I have not tried any Paulas Choice products but read lots about them.
You seem happy and hopeful, I hope that its a sign of your overall improvement in picking.

I bought the neutrogena spot gel in the pharmacy one day to try it... I had forgotten my skinceuticals serum on a trip and actually liked it. I used neutrogena stuff as a teenager, then started using other brands. I bought the led mask and spot pen treatment - they actually work to help infected spots reduce size/pain/redness. A cystic pimple that would take a week to disappear on its own actually disappears in 3 days... in 1-2 it shrinks noticeably!! Try it :)! As for calamine, I used it after some bad skin picking and it makes the redness look less evident... but agree it is very drying. As for my skin now, same happened to me: since june - after my laser that broke my skin out terribly - I had been taking tetracycline. My skin got much less oily and my acne cleared conpletely. I could live on antibiotics and would be a happier person / pick much much less. But I want to get pregnant soon so cannot take those anymore. And then... after a month free of "oral antibiotics" - I got oilier. Some black heads and small white spots apperared. Picked some. Those multiplied. And the whole picking endless hunt started all over again. I realized I cannot live on antibiotics forever, and had to finally solve (try to) my picking problem.
So I found this website and enrolled to the program. I am on my 5th-6th week and still pick... but found many ways of understanding it better. This forum also helped me a lot, you did too :).
I am motivated but feel far from being cured. I bought some mp3 hypnosis from this english lady, will try soon.
I am really willing and hoping to try anything to fix this... maybe one day I will say "it was something that I used to do", but just not quite yet.
The tca is amazing by the way - my skin is thin and glowing. My husband is impressed how something can do this much in such few days. I will defintely keep this a part of my routine. It makes me not want to pick and I feel my skin soooo smooth. I had been doing improvements on my picking... and then one day I just lost my mind and picked for hours in a row (the week before my period = oilier skin + breakouts). I bought some pepskin products too to brighten the dark spots...
This tca peel came in the best time ever. Thank you again for all the tips :)! I want to use the dermaroller next week with some vitamin c and these pigmentation creams.
Will then have another tca in 3 weeks... and keep doing this for a while, see what happens.
Want to try microneedling and fillers for depressed scars with a professional/doctor, no more lasers for now... in the mood for new stuff :)
Have you tried the program in this website?

...another note on picking:
I think the trick for me is to keep reminidng me to keep my hands away from my face. Touching it only infects it more. And when I touch it I "feel" where the spots are - sometimes not even visible, but there. And it triggers me to "analyze" them closely in from of a mirror.
I am trying to stop this hunting for little spots, by cutting the triggers that precede it. And you see... I am now a bit desperate since scarring becomes only worse with age... whatever I do may leave marks and scars. I had large pores and some pigmentation, but only after my 30s... my picked acne started leaving behind actual scars/holes. At this age, the skin will not heal as it used to... I have my deepest pits - cheeks/chin for these 2-3?spots I picked (...which I would never let heal) for weeks due to some stressful working days... and with scabbing after scabbing, those did not heal properly.
Up until my 20s, I could still get away with my picking - my skin was still so oily and healing was fast/good...!
Not anymore... anything I have and Pick can become a scar now. So I really need to be extra careful. Hopefully stop one day. So remember that in your late 30s your skin will be different, it is a very good thing you're aware of this now, and already taking care of yourself.

I am glad that I can help in some way. I simply understand the pain and frustration all too well.
As for the light therapy treatments, I have heard that they are effective and worth looking into. I have not enrolled in this website's program. Is it mainly about being introspective and looking for any triggers and trying to change behavior by substituting picking with other actions? I am not even sure how it works but I get the impression that its almost like a diary format. Do you work with an actual online therapist who writes you back? Have you tried to quit before and what was your most successful attempt at quitting picking that you remember? I think that with age the skin not only slows down in its ability to heal wounds and prevent scar formation, but also the old scars which have been inflicted in youth start to become more evident. Since collagen production slows down, the deeper layers of the skin start to sag, and all of the past scars start becoming more visible. How does your husband feel about your picking? Is he supportive and understanding? Its important to be surrounded by caring, non judgmental support systems. I think that it is a big factor in the ability to get better from this. I agree with you, that its important to keep the hands away from the face in order to cut down on the "scanning" behavior. I just dont like the very evident whiteheads that pop up and whenever I look in the mirror all I see is a huge red pimple with a whitehead in the middle. Its distracting and the pain doesnt make it any easier to not want to pop it.
The peels are an addictive process once you start doing them. The same brand Perfect Image has other peels too. They have a daily 10% Sylacilic acid peel along with a 30% Sylacilic acid peel. I tried the 30% and left it on for 5 full minutes...it reddens the skin and stings more than the TCA. I think I left it on too long the first time I did it because there was more dryness and redness....but once my skin peeled off it was very bright and even toned. Maybe the 10% Sylacilic peel would be best to try first. Weekly use of it might be beneficial in preventing acne. It is a different acid from TCA though, so application should be gentle and pressure should not be applied on the skin. Fillers are the way to go in order to get immediate results. With micro-needling, some derms have a specific punching device that applies the needles in a direct straight manner instead of the roller which can pull on the skin as the needles penetrate at an angle. For deeper scars I know that many derms prefer to use the TCA cross method, which is basically applying a high percentage of TCA only in the depressed portions of the scars. This causes only those specific areas to raise up to the surface. It looks worse before it gets better...so there is time needed for everything to even out.

Random question, do you pick less when you spend time in the sun? I find it easier to refrain from picking when I spend a good amount being active and spending time outdoors. I think the sun increases serotonin production/overall mood and lowers impulses.

A link to an interesting article on chemical peels.

https://www.allure.com/story/chemical-peel-benefits

About the treatment:
You start out by stating all your picking history. Then you meet (through online texting) your assigned therapist, and start your "app. diary". So initially it is about understanding when you pick, why, where... the triggers and feelings that precede it.
Then the next step is to try to create competing responses and stimulus control.
Though that mildly helps, it is not enough. And the more you "watch yourself", the more you think of picking... ironically. It made me focus even more on my picking...!
After that, you're introduced to some mindfulness-acceptance-willingness skills, and start thinking of your "higher values", short and long term goals, and learn to talk to yourself almost as "an observer"... a not judgmental one. Sum up all these, plus the comments and notes from your therapist, and the questions you answer on each week's session. You also complete a test before each session to see if your condition is improving. I think it was worth it :). Has not cured me but made be better... I need to read everything again to keep remembering the tips when I get into my "trance picking". A 25 year old habit cannot vanish all of a sudden... but I want to believe it will.
I have 3 weeks left.

To answer your questions: • Have you tried to quit before and what was your most successful attempt at quitting picking that you remember? - I have always tried to stop... never made it for good. I think my maximum time "hands off" was 2 months, but only while on roaccutan or antibiotics (tetracycline or other), which made my skin really acne free / smooth ("unpickable"). But whenever I am on my normal "oilier" self (free of pills), I last no longer than 2 weeks. • How does your husband feel about your picking? Is he supportive and understanding? - He did not get it in the beginning, until one day he said it was not normal and that maybe I should get help. First I got mad and offended, but realized he was right... I started searching for it on-line, and after reading a lot about it I sent him also many articles, on how family should behave with skin pickers etc (not to accuse, yell, shame... things he had done until then). Then he changed. He became very supportive and is the only person in my close circle that knows the exact situation. Of course my family jokes about this, but don't think of it as a problem. 3) Do you pick less when you spend time in the sun? - I pick less... but more because I prefer "less make-up" during the summertime. So since my skin shows more if I pick, I get to control myself better. Also, I am usually among friends/family during the summer, and feel embarrassed to present myself with bad skin. I don't think though the sun makes my skin better, since I feel it oilier. 4) I will read the link on chemical peels! Thanks. Will ask also a doctor I am seeing about microneedling, TCA cross method, and some fillers for the more evident scars. I truly believe that making my skin look healthy and well taken care of will be a big motivation for me not to ruin it. For the past year I had been demotivated with some deeper scars, acne and pigmentation, and thought that picking could not "make it any worse anyway". But I was wrong... I did make it worse. So now I will try to make it its best... and live with / accept what I cannot fix.

What about seeing an actual real therapist in person? I would rather do that because I want them to see the damage themselves and to assess me in person. That way I own up to what im doing and they understand the whole ordeal much better. It would have to be a very understanding therapist. In my case its complex because I have a whole lot of facial issues going on so maybe body dysmorphic disorder is a part of the equation. Maybe having a birthmark on half of my face results in such issues...which makes me feel even more alienated into my unique category. But also I think maybe its none of anybodys damn business and why the hell should I go and spill my guts to a person who is just charging me hourly. Mostly just to make them feel pity for me and oh poor thing thats too bad. And end up making them feel uncomfortable because thats what happens when you have any facial defect....you naturally without even trying make people uncomfortable. And in my case they will just equate everything to the facial defect. Its like they peg you for how you look and all of your behaviors are a result of the defect. I had a shitty therapist a while back who would tell me I look tired when I would not wear makeup and when I stopped doing peels. Ya my skin was amazing when I would constantly do peels and use facial products...then I dropped into a massive depression and her responses became "you look tired", "are you sleeping well"...and I had to tell the idiot NO I stopped doing facial peels and stopped using creams and dont care to wear makeup (I would sleep 12 hours each day). Its like I owe these bastards some sort of explanation for how my damn face looks. Maybe my face is just naturally deformed...what am I to do about it? Do I need to blatantly explain it to people? "Oh excuse me but my face looks like hell today because I havent had the will to take good care of myself lately because I am so depressed that I can barely move." Be glad that you dont have any facial birthmarks...because people tend to expect an explanation for it since it makes them uncomfortable to look at you and they want to double check if youre ok and not sick or dying from some disease. Its all about leering and trying to "figure you out"....ohhh how does it affect her I wonder. Scars are more understandable.

This is exactly how I felt for the past two years...."For the past year I had been demotivated with some deeper scars, acne and pigmentation, and thought that picking could not "make it any worse anyway". But I was wrong... I did make it worse. So now I will try to make it its best... and live with / accept what I cannot fix."
Its as if I gave up on trying to help myself...yet in doing so I only got worse! The only way to lessen the picking is SELF CARE...constant self care and self compassion. Ignoring the problem only tends to make it worse!

"What about seeing an actual real therapist in person?" Not sure I am ready for that, to confront one in person. Living now in a foreign country makes it hardwr, and the 2 I have seen in the past (for other reasons) did not prove to be really necessary. I wish skin-picking therapists could be psychiatrists who had also been ex-pickers, who could personally relate to all my issues and therefore know exactly how I feel, what to tell me, when. I am ok for now with this on-line program, the good thing is that I can remain anonymous. Will see how it goes after that...
"Maybe having a birthmark on half of my face results in such issues" I understand you feel bad about it. You're right, people tend to look at "marks" and imagine how people feel about it. I personally hate meeting old friends from high school / college with that sad look on their face "what happened to you? What have you done to your face?"... I kinda get the feeling. Though I don't know how I'd feel about a birth mark, I do have a cousin who has a big purple colored "shade" on half her face... she is an amazing doctor, has beautiful kids and a great husband... it seems like she never cared about it. Or I guess at some point she just accepted it... moved on. Whatever the case, I never asked... but she feels so comfortable with it, people don't pity her at all. Try to act super confident and smile at people when they stare at you. See how that feels... and make them feel uncomfortable for a change. Easy for me to say - since I don't have one, but I always admired my cousin for overcoming this... and hated myself for worrying instead about such superficial stuff overall. But anyway, this is who I am... trying to evolve too. I guess the trick is to learn to appreciate other great features you have, keep taking care of yourself - and your skin - and eventually focus more and more on our life/other greater values too...! Sounds a bit corny, but just from reading your posts I can tell you are such a smart and caring person. Don't let a beauty mark ruin it for you!
"Scars are more understandable". I think scars can be understandable... when accidental. When you know you deliberately caused them - with your own little fingers... - the sense of guilt can be quite overwhelming. But I have passed that phase... I am still forgiving myself, but there were times I could not. Quite a burden.
"The only way to lessen the picking is SELF CARE... constant self care" - I will make this my new mantra...!!

Thank you for your reply, you are very kind. I try my best to be a good person and I do smile at people when I notice them looking in an analytical manner. Its as if they are trying to make sense of what they are staring at ( I wear makeup so they tend to stare a bit longer to decipher what it is that I am trying to hide). Overall I try to be polite at all times although I would say I am a shy, reserved person in my temperament. Why did you never ask your cousin about her birthmark, do you think it is socially unacceptable or simply impolite to ask other's about such things? Is it a fear of possibly hurting her feelings? Im curious mainly because I have encountered interested looks although the individuals never asked or hinted at what they were looking at. I dont think it would offend me much if they asked straight out if I have a birthmark...its only rude if they inquire if I got hit or if I smeared my makeup or if im sick (which has happened). The most recent awkward situation occurred when I got a new dentist and caught him analyzing my face (they have to scan the face for signs of abuse and bruises). I guess he was suspicious that I was being abused but when he saw me with it every time for a year he understood its a birthmark. Assumptions are hurtful, but an open question about birthmarks is not. Does your cousin wear makeup to cover her birthmark? As for feeling a sense of guilt for picking and leaving scars..its a feeling I know all too well and its so painful. I am battling with it recently. Sometimes its better, other times its worse. Today Im going to do another peel because I want to feel "cleansed"...strange how such a process feels like a cleansing both physically and psychologically.

Hi Serene...! Sorry I am only replying now... I was on vacation for 20 days with my family. It kind of ruined my routine, actually. I was used to avoiding some bathrooms/lights and got into my mom's house bathrooms with crazy bright lighting... my skin after my first peel was much better. Then I ruined it. Then I got a new peel. Then I ruined it again... then I opened up with my family about his issue. It is a bit genetic as I had said, so they kind of understood right away... then my skin slowly got better and now I had my third peel back home. Good thing my husband noticed some improvement already, so that felt motivating (he had not seen me for almost 3 weeks). I have a week left with the treatment... wonder still if I will ever be "cured" :(.
To answer your questions above:
I never asked my cousin about her birthmark for 2 reasons: 1, I always knew what it was... and it did not seem to bother her. 2. I get very very bothered when people comment my skin (acne, scars, pores)... so my personal rule is never to comment on people's skin since I suffer from it... yet if they talk about it, then I talk about it too. (We are not so close - 2nd degree - so there was never an opportunity).
And no, she never were any make-up to hide it... it is purple/hemangioma and it takes a large part of half her face... she is also a doctor and seems pretty ok with it. I wish I was more like her with my own skin problems...!
Anyway... hope one day I will :-/

How are you implementing the peels now? For how long do you leave them and how many passes do you make? Do you flake or do you obviously peel in sheets? I think the 15 percent TCA is too weak for me now. I need to buy a 20 percent peel...saw this particular product__----https://www.amazon.com/Peel-Enhanced-Salicylic-Acid-INTERNATIONAL/dp/B0…. The Perfect Image brand discontinued its 20% TCA peel...so I have to find another one. I think for me it will be easier and quicker to do the 20% because its stronger and frosts quickly. The 15% takes too much time. And with a higher percentage less passes are needed, less product is used up. When I do a peel for an entire week I do EXTREMELY well with not picking. Its a breather for me...im able to relax for a while and feel a bit normal in a way....even though I cant really leave the house looking like a burn victim. Being confined is the disadvantage...yet if Im not picking I feel better on the inside! How is your experience, how do peels make you feel when you are in the process of peeling? I can understand how you feel about messing up the progress. Im sitting here with five hydro-colloid bandaids on my chin. Little picked spots...some have healed up and today in the morning I picked some more! This week has been so rough for me! And then on top of it dealing with depression. Very frustrating to say the least! You are a kind person with lots of empathy...you try to not upset others because you understand the depth of the pain when it comes to physical defects. BTW... if you want to you can join a Facebook support group which I and a couple of other Skinpick users have started. Here is the link.... https://www.facebook.com/groups/361955704218004/?multi_permalinks=36207…
---- I hope that the link works. We chat and support each other whenever we need it. We also like to share helpful information with one another.

Have you ever tried not using make-up over it and watch people's reactions? Maybe they look /stare more because it could seem like a covered "bruise" (like your dentist probably assumed at first)... and people don't ask since you actually cover it (and they assume it is not ok to talk about it). But if you ever feel like explaining it to people... just say what it is - "yup... birth mark!" - & smile :). I met a girl the other day... she has one on her neck and since it was covered with make-up I assumed it was a bruise. Since her skin was ok besides that, I asked if she got hurt... she said "no, it is a birth mark... but I hide it since I find it a bit ugly".
When another cousin of mine would be covered with pimples during adolescence years (though she did not care much - another interesting example) and someone would say "what is all this on your face" - she'd say "I had them put on... thought they'd look nice. Do I look good?".
To make the person understand it was not a choice and a bad question. She was funny... yes, empathy is something we learn, I guess. Being able to put yourself in somebody else's shoes. You're empathic as well and I see you in this forum helping a lot of people, including me - very nice of you.
The problem with facebook is that it is not really private, is it? I mean, a bit of exposure might happened with our profile pictures, names, etc. I find that part a vit embarrassing :(. Will think about it though...
As for the TCA - my new magic friend:
15% is quite easy for me. I did 2 passes of 5 minutes each this last time, had a few frosted spots where my skin was drier, but the peeling is mild... small flakes overall (no sheets). I guess my mix has salicylic acid in it so it is good also for my acne :).
I may finish this one with the next peel and increase to a third layer, then I might get the 20% to try out...! For the layering, you just apply one over the other after how many minutes? And for the 20%, how many min would you do the first time?
I am like you, I don't pick much during my downtime days... I relax and organize myself in the process with more inportant things. Skins looks better, I feel better :). Problem is 7 days after the peel... I have to wait another week for the next peel and start picking again a bit... which makes the results not as good.
Will do a 4th peel in 2 weeks again, then see how it gows with 3 layers of 5 minutes (tot 15 minutes) will be... Maybe 20% with 1 layer and 3 minutes it will be quicker and more effective...

It really depends on the frosting of the skin. I allow my skin to become quite white before I wash the acid off. When I wash it off it hurts a lot... something to do with the way that the acid reacts when combined with water. Deeper peels tend to cause that reaction. Then my face feels sore and flushed as if I got a sunburn. The soreness goes away after a few hours. I would have to use the 20 percent to see how my skin responds and how quickly the frosting occurs. Safe bet is to work your way up gradually. I peel in sheets...thats the goal for me each time. I leave the acid for much longer and do several passes. I think for you it would be convenient to purchase the fan brush for an easy and accurate application. It helps to disperse the acid evenly and if you prefer the milder peels it will give a nice all over even peel. It also dispenses the acid with a thick layer, unlike cotton swabs which absorb a lot of it. This is the exact brush I bought and it works really well...it's also smaller which makes it much easier to apply the peel around the contours of the face. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00D7O304E/ref=pd_aw_fbt_121_img_2?ie=UT…. As for the birthmark I do cover it up because it makes me look tired or sick if I don't. It spans from one side of my forehead, across my right eye, and down my temple and right cheek. It's strange and unsightly light brown mark. If it was a cute little spot I would not mind it. I have completely peeled it off once...to the point where it wasn't even visible in bright sunshine with no make-up (very deep peel)...but it regenerated after a month...its located too deep in the bottom of the dermis. Even if I exfoliate the top layers, the cells which create pigment lie deep in the dermis. Medium depth peels do help to lighten it well, so it's my only relief. That is why I aim for more extreme peeling with layers of skin drying up and coming off instead of just light flaking. The deeper peels are also effective at shaving down and filling in scars. It just takes time to see good results. What I dislike is how difficult it is to peel the sides of the face. Forehead can be frustrating as well...but the sides of the face have the thickest skin. Ok I think that's enough disturbing info for the day. :) To understand what a deeper peel is like I would recommend you to get a VI peel at the dermatologist. I've had it done before starting my own peel process at home. The VI peel will give you a very nice even medium depth exfoliation and peeling in visible sheets. One whole week of downtime is needed. It contains TCA and other acids. A deeper peel also gives a mini facelift effect. The skin tightens and you appear more youthful. It's temporary as the skin eventually becomes lax again due to it's natural process of regeneration. Constant upkeep is required in order to maintain good skin. My last dermatologist did peels herself multiple times a year in order to maintain the look of her skin, which was flawless and youthful for her age.