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When you start to mess up...
Don’t give up when you start to pick at something and say to yourself “oh well it’s too late now mine as well keep going and Dinah what I started”. No matter how many times your hands move to pick or even start at a spot you are still better off not giving in and stopping yourself over and over. This is something I have learned recently as I have realized I often use touching my face once as an excuse to just give in. It’s like I want all or nothing but then I destroy my skin when I could have just ended up with a little red mark that will fade faster. It’s never too late to stop!
** finish what I started
I am just confused as to why little blocked pores and tiny pimples aggrevate me so much. I don't understand the neurosis surrounding blemishes. Why my brain decided that it simply cannot tolerate the feel or the visual of blemishes. I don't want to be bothered by such imperfections... sometimes even the tiniest blemishes create this neurosis. It's just a mental illness, a dellusion. It's not normal to be so compelled at eliminating skin's natural imperfections.
With summer's humidity, my skin has become more oily and I am getting more clogged pores and a bit more acne. One cystic pimple I got on my forehead does not bother me, but little tiny whiteheads do along with clogged pores. Even small pimples on the chest aggrevated me today. I did a peel after a three week break, and hope it calms me down. I am also sweating more because I'm spending time outdoors kayaking and hiking. On top of that, I'm wearing lots of sunscreen and mosquito spray. The mosquito spray is super oily and might be causing some of the acne, but I cannot live without it. So change of weather is creating a bit of a problem.
(( I so need to follow your advice right now. Thank you for contributing this post. ))
I think that there is a certain feeling that we experience when we feel we can stop. Some sort of deep set confirmation that allows us to finally let go. If we don't receive this inner confirmation to halt the picking, it drives us nuts...so it's a tug of war between the initial fight to resist the urge to pick an imperfection which bothers us to no end ...and then the chase for that feeling of confirmation when we finally can let go. For me it comes with a ritual of obsessive washing. I'll be picking and washing my sores .... cleaning them out. Chasing this confirmation of when the wound is finally clean enough, I can stop, when the blood has stopped, then I can stop, when I think I got everything out of the pores, I can stop.
This is such a sad condition. Endless battle with oneself.
I’m hearing ya! I feel exactly the same. The past couple of weeks i was doung ok not stopped completely but i atvleast felt comfortable in knowing make-up could cover what it needed it. Now in the past few days just out of no where i have a big dint in my forehead where ive been digging at what is likely nothing but i too see those little white bits and kust feel like if i get them out then everything will be better and heal etc. instead i end up with big dints. Its so embarrssimg as make-up cant hide them and i still have to face the day go to work see people etc all while i feel so insecure. Its so annoyimg! Im sick of takimgbteo steps forward then 2 steps back again! Ive seem therapists, done the online program, read books, googled etc but here i am in my 30s and still struggling with every day!
MovingOn, I totally understand. What I have been struggling with is picking at healing wounds. Particularly when the scab tries to form. My trigger is seeing the scab looking white and soft after I take a shower. It's incredibly tempting to pick at it but this time around I'm holding myself back from ripping up three tiny picked spots on my chest. I left them alone after taking a shower and am now just observing them as they heal. I want to see the process of the healing occur naturally, without hindering it in any way. I know that they will heal faster if I leave them alone.
I feel like I typed this. You're able to articulate this so well. I tend to suffer from a little bit of seasonal depression as well, so the fact that it's about to be summer *should* be a good thing. But with the warmer weather I'm finding my face to be more oily...and thus, more clogged pores, as you said. They are impossible to ignore at times no matter what. The battle indeed feels endless but it can't be, can it?
Im in the same boat, and of course once you've picked your face to no end because of the acne that comes along with the oily and sweaty skin...you try and use make up to cover it, which in turn makes it worse because now it's really hindering the healing process because you're clogging what needs to breath and heal even more.... It's a depressing battle. I've isolated myself countless times for hours and days on end because im embarrassed at what I've done and what it looks like