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Feeling defeated
My face has been breaking out a lot lately which means the picking has increased. Today I spent 2.5 hours picking. Two and half hours I could have spent outside in the sunshine working in the garden or doing anything else. I do not know how to stop. I thought I was starting to get a better handle on the picking, but today ruined me. Even working with a CBT Therapist doesn't seem to be working. I've also tried medication, which also doesn't work. I don't think I can deal with this problem anymore.
I want a life free of this, but I'm beginning to think it is not possible.
Do you usually garden as a distraction? Gardening in itself is therapy. It helps me to be able to touch the soil and feel the plants. I love the hands on sensations, and it helps to get my attention off my skin.
What triggered you to pick this time? Was it an outbreak of acne or was it just tiny barely visible pores and blackheads? Do you repeatedly pick at and setback healing of scabs/wounds?
The fact that you mentioned that you thought you were getting a better hold on the picking is a hopeful sign. Progress tends to occur with occasional setbacks. Just keep monitoring your behavior. Are you doing any dermatological procedures on the side? It can help to lessen the urges somewhat if you put in effort towards self care. And you might be more likely to hold off on damaging your skin, knowing that you are investing in it. It helps me somewhat, so it can be a deterrent of the urges.
Gardening helps me alot too....it keeps me from doing other destructive things like drinking (im an alcohol) and smoking (im a heavy chain smoker as well ) so being outside in the dirt planting things and creating something beautiful instead of engaging in destructive behavior has always helped... however, you can't garden 24/7 you know? And the stress of life and the depressions that can conspire have always led me back to picking....