Hi, I'm new

Hi mopatop, i know how you feel, when you say "exhausted", I've been saying that a lot to myself lately and usually drop the f-bomb in front of it too. :) I know what it's like to want to quit and withdraw from the world because of shame/disgust with my face. I haven't quit though and I am reinserting myself into the world even stronger -- defying the strong isolationist in me. Somehow my disorder seems to be bound up in fear of "the social", fear of intimacy, fear of love? I haven't accessed any professional psychological help yet, but I just wanted to say welcome & good luck on your journey. c.a.

Hi there and welcome! I feel your pain; I'm sure many of us do. I, too, have had therapists skirt the issue, claiming "everybody has something they pick-- I pick my scalp!" she said reassuringly, like my problem was a small one. I wish I had dared her to ask me to lift up my sleeves. I'm starting with a couple of new therapists, one who specializes in OCD. I think what our real "label" is is impulse control disorder. Once we start it's next to impossible to stop on our own. You might look for someone who specializes in this in your area, or use the online counseling offered at this site. I'm thinking of trying her, too, just to beef up my arsenal against this LONG lasting habit. It's gonna take a huge effort at first, I figure, since its such an ingrained part of my life. I know what you mean about distrusting your ability to help yourself on your own. Don't do it alone! Use this forum, reach out, journal after you pick to become conscious of the pattern and the associated thoughts. We are here for you and know what you are going through. Let us know how you are doing. Take care, Katie