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What is your story?
Well it’s a new year and hopefully new me, so I thought I would finally reach out and look for other fellow skin pickers like myself. Reading this forum has made me feel so much more human, in a strange way. Before, I felt like I was the only one out there that experienced this Ferris wheel of emotions. My thoughts became trapped in my mind and festered away until I had to give in and pick at my arms again. But seeing all of you, going through the same thing, it makes me feel hopeful for once in a very long time. So as I am new to the forum, I thought I would take this moment of courage to tell you all my story, as no one besides my family knows of it. Starting sophomore year of high school I began feeling an urge to pick at the bumps on my arms. I didn’t think anything of it, and neither did my parents. I thought I had it all under control, yet as the months passed I began to feel possessed by this feeling to destroy my skin. The scars started to form, along with my need to constantly wear long sleeves, even in the heat of the summer. More than anything, I was embarrassed. I still am, when I have a track or cross country meet and am forced to act calm as my team mates observe my bare, scabbed arms. My mom attempted to find me a therapist, yet many of you probably understand how difficult it is to find the right person for you. I began to feel absolutely disgusted with myself and my thoughts. I felt like I was outside of my body, screaming at myself to stop, yet not being able to control my actions. It became unbearable, until I finally found an amazing therapist who was able to help me without the need for asinine “worksheets.” Now, I still feel urges, yet they are more of a knocking on a window than a shattering of glass feeling. And although I still have scars on my arms, and probably always will, I don’t feel ashamed for what I did. I instead for proud of the thing that I’ve stopped in these past months. So now, as I begin to finish on my senior year of high school, I hope to continue healing as I prepare for college, and although my mind still sometimes becomes an uncontrollable wildfire, I hope to be able to put it out when necessary. Well, that was my long first entry, but please feel welcome to share your stories with me. I have no one to discuss this issue with, and I know hearing your all’s journeys will help to make me no longer feel alone. Thank you.
Amazing, well done to get your picking under control. I've had all sorts of skin problems down the years (now 39) which made picking become a habit. My skin is now better than ever but some personal problems caused my picking to get worse and I'd make my face red when it didn't need to be thus shattering my confidence. I've finally seeked help via a counseller who encouraged me to come on here and talk to others. I have lots of scaring on my back and acne scars on my face but have very few outbreaks now due to a strict healthy diet and lifestyle. I'm optimistic about the future and feel sharing my experiences and talking have really helped. I'm not keen to stop my skin and picking define me as a person and let my true personality shine through and live life to the full again.
Hello,
I've also wanted to get a fresh start by starting the new year off right by letting go of the past and the problems that comes along with it. I've started picking since elementary school ( 20 + years )and have been every since so u can imagine the scars I have are pretty visable and lots of blemishes that I try to hide no matter how the weather is, I am often shaming myself " I think the worst because it's not a pretty sight" and I knew if others saw what I've seen it would be humiliation or at least I feel like it would.
Hello,
I've also wanted to get a fresh start by starting the new year off right by letting go of the past and the problems that comes along with it. I've started picking since elementary school ( 20 + years )and have been every since so u can imagine the scars I have are pretty visable and lots of blemishes that I try to hide no matter how the weather is, I am often shaming myself " I think the worst because it's not a pretty sight" and I knew if others saw what I've seen it would be humiliation or at least I feel like it would.
I'm guilty of looking at myself in a way no-one else does. When I do look in the mirror I get really close up looking for any small blemish. But no-one else sees us in this way. In fact even those closest to us will never see our skin in that way. So I'm trying to learn that when I do look in the mirror it's from a sensible distance to appreciate how I actually look to others. It's quite a difference and can change the perception of how I see myself. Also finding the right light can be important. We don't spend our lives under a spotlight so why look at ourselves in the mirror that way.
I have recently stopped, after having struggled with it since the age of three. It is so refreshing to finally have “normal” skin and no longer feel ashamed.