Why I like having chapped lips

When I was very young I developed a habit of sucking my fingers, but not the thumb. I had my middle finger and ring finger in my mouth while my index finger rubbed at my lips. It took a long time for my parents to get me to stop.

Once I stopped with this, I continued to rub and touch my lips. I'd also find a piece of fabric like a blanket or shirt and rub my lips on it, trying to get them to catch on the fabric because that was my favorite feeling.

Now that I'm older I realize that I sincerely enjoy having chapped lips. If they are chapped, I'll avoid taking drinks/take a sip very carefully to avoid wetting them. This way I can pick/pull at my lip skin. I also like to take my nail and press the blunt side into my lips, creating an indention and pushing it back out. Most people don't think anything of that feeling but I love it. Awhile back I told my boyfriend to let me push into his lip to make an indention and have him push it back out (by pursing your lips) and he was like "That's so weird, no I don't like the way that feels." Oh well.

Thankfully I don't make my lips bleed much anymore but considering we're in the midst of a pandemic, people see it as much worse than they used to. Touching your lips with your hands, or your face in general, is heavily frowned upon nowadays. So I try not to do it around people but I do without noticing occasionally.

Just came here to see if anyone shares the same habit as I do. Thanks for reading