Terrible day

I was going so strong... I had barely picked the last week... only a few spots here and there. I had not started a picking binge in just about a week until today. I feel so weak. I got the nails, I am trying lotions, I am doing everything I can to stop and it happened anyway. The nails made it worse because I was able to dig even harder than normal and pick out blemishes that were not even showing, that is until I picked them. I have not seen my face and arms this red in a long time. I know that I have you all out there, but I still feel so alone. I am sitting here with a calming mask on... I hope that I don't pick anymore tonight, but I have a feeling I will. I know exactly what triggered it too. I got upset at work today about some issues and immediately retreated to my cubicle and picked my chest and arms while no one could see. After I got home at 4:30 I immediately started to dig at my face until 6:20. Then I got in the shower, nearly cried, put on a mask, and got online to tell you all how hopeless I feel. I wish I could change... but I can't. I might as well get used to the fact that I will never be able to completely quit picking.