I have a lot of friends but no one who understands.

Hello, I am new, I just found this website today. I am 28 and I have been doing this for about 10 years. I don't know how to stop. I sometimes won't leave my house because i'm embarrassed and I have to fight back the tears when I go to work. I am a very lucky girl. I have always been naturally pretty but I feel like I make myself hideous. My family, friends and loving boyfriend all tell me that I am beautiful and just to stop but it's not that easy. I feel alone and I want to stop. I have seen many dermatologists and therapists but nothing has helped, however I didn't fully understand what I was doing or that there was a name for it until very recently. I would just like to hear some or any feedback to make me understand that I can stop. I also have been told I have body dysmorphic disorder and I am confused as to why all of this is a part of me. I want to be happy and not stress over my skin and myself because there are bigger things I'd like to think about on a daily basis. thanks for listening. also, which obsessed episode was the one with the skin picker? I'd like to watch it. I have never seen the show.