I'm a woman and I pick my breasts! Does anyone else?

Hi all. Well, I might be the oldest among you. I'm 53, and my picking is out of control. I began around 11 or 12 because I'd get little bumps on the back of my upper arms and some on my shoulders. I was a professional swimmer and basically spent my time away from school in a pool. It was so embarrassing. I just thought that if I could get to the bottom of it, sometimes getting little white hard spots out, they'd heal up and never come back. But what really happens, as you know, is that the more you mess with the area the more sores arise, and then you have a "duty" to fix those! It's a maddening cycle. In the summers, the sun really helped things heal, but I'm always SO self conscious that people will notice the scars and sores. In my college years I started picking at my back and buttocks. Now I'm in a 16 year relationship that was unbelievably compatible until last fall. She told a lie about me on FB and it really hurt. When I confronted her, she also told me she didn't feel in love with me anymore and basically felt like we were roommates. I was shocked. All my past relationships had been so abusive, and I'd finally found one with mutual trust, respect and true love. My picking escalated to its worst ever. I went ahead and finally told some people. My therapists were surprised that my partner had never known. My sister was grossed out, but supportive. A couple friends are no longer friends... I guess it's just too much to lay on a person when they can't do anything to help, plus it's disgusting! And my secret's out to them and I live in fear that they'll tell others. I finally told my partner. She always wondered why we didn't make love naked or with lights on ... I always wore a long shirt or something. I don't like my breasts messed with that much anyway. I showed her my arms, but that was all. We went to couples therapy, and she swears she's not leaving me, loves me completely, etc. I know this could be said out of fear of making me worse, but I'm trying my best to think positively and believe in her love as I always did. Then at the beginning of the year, she went bolistic when I asked if we could make love ... she'd never said no before, I cried, and she screamed and screamed and put her hands around my neck and shook my head back and forth. She has anger management problems, but I have never seen her take it out on a person, much less, me! It really rocked my security. The picking is worse than ever. My arms and legs are covered with dark purple scars, my belly, sides, back and buttocks are covered with dots - some open, some healed, some just ripe to be picked to a deeper layer. (Sorry.) It takes me hours each week to get the blood stains out of every item of my clothing before I can do laundry. My arthritis in my fingers is getting worse and worse. Last fall I developed Glossitis (Burning Mouth Syndrome): It's caused by stress, there is no cure, and it lasts 7 - 13 YEARS! The only time it doesn't hurt is when I'm asleep. I swish with lidocaine many times daily to numb my tongue, but it only helps for a few minutes. Sucking cool air in helps, but my teeth are ground flat and too sensitive to cold, sugar, heat. When I finish a particularly bad picking session, I look like I've been hit by shrapnel with blood running everywhere. And it gets so sore, in the shower, in bed, in clothes, etc. This past winter was the worst ever, and I'm trying so hard to turn things around and be more like the person friends met years ago. I'm agoraphobic, so I'm trying to force myself to get out more in society.I'm so ashamed of my looks that I invested in long sleeved special tops that are supposed to be cooling in the heat, but I get so many hot flashes, uggg. I wish the cold weather would just stay so I could stay covered up. A few times I've done better by wearing latex gloves, and I keep my nails cut real short. I've tried to get help from Behavioral Research facilities, but I seem to be too much for them and they dump me. I'm so scared, ashamed, etc. So there's my life... any suggestions?

guilty....

i do and what made mine worse wase i got a staff infection which if i wasnt a picker it would have healed over rite away but not many of us have that much self control i dont it is now 4 years later and i have picked at it so much it spread creating new pic spots i have no health insurance so i cant get any antibiotices to kill the infection or the help for my picking i wish u luck i havent found a way to stop i pick first thing in the morning and then at the end of the day on my breast but if i have picked at my face and im stressed and i new more spots to pick ill go to the bathroom and pick my boobs i keep an extra clean shirt neosprian bandaids and rubbing alchohol pads in my purse or backpack ur not alone oaklandgurl

God I really thought I was the only one. I ended up leaving the house with my scars showing and I do try to cover them up but usually they are still visable. I am ashamed and embaressed by my self destruction and try as I might I also end up returing to the bathroom to exasborate the issue. For me this self loathing behavior. I think if I learn to love myself and be content with who I am the behaviors would not manifest. I could relate to almost evething you were saying and my sympathy goes out to you. I really hope you can find some strength in this Jennifer

I figured I couldn't be the only one who did this but after reading these posts I feel there are bunches of us out there. That's the most saddening is that there are so many of you on here feeling all those feelings of shame and isolation and at the same time psychic relief then horrific regret followed by secrets. Ive been doing this since was a out 13 or so, I'm 42 now. I just want to take a moment to tell so many of these young girls to get help with this. Tell your Dr. About it if you have one. They've heard of it and may have seen it as well. They won't treat you like freak for it. Do this before youre 20+ years into this compulsion and all the scars and the isolation sets in and you're feeling too old to correct the scarred damage. I beg you to get some help to at least try to stop or curb the impulse. I know it's hard to speak up about it. I've been in therapy off and on for 20 years and still never told my shrink. Don't be the coward I have been. The impulse for me stems from a sexual assault as a little kid by a stranger. It's pretty safe to say that I dealt with it all badly but it all makes sense now. It's just emotional overload and it is like a release valve except it creates real damage both physical and mental on top of the original mental damage. Now I feel emotionally i'm maybe too far gone for a relationship. I feel I need reconstructive surgery to remove the scarring and loose skin around my areola. So with past weight gain and loss, and the picking damage, I seems to have physically manifested all my psychic anguish into something physical that can be seen. I'm glad this site is here and I can at least say this annonymously and if nothing else, be a cautionary tale for some of these young women so you don't end up where I am. Alone and wanting a relationship but, carrying a secret that feels so big and crazy (to the layperson) to boot, I think it will be the ultimate reason now that I'm alone and don't pursue relationships because I just can't bare to expose myself. It was once mentally and issue but now, it's the physical that holds me back!

I am 14 years old and I have an ugly scar on my boob from where I picked at a staff infection. I've had a habit of picking scabs for a long time but I didn't realize that I was giving myself scars from it. For a long time I felt really ashamed and embarassed when my friends would wear skimpy swimsuits and I would have to cover up my scar. I am really relieved to find out that I'm not alone in this issue. Thank you guys for sharing all your stories, it has really helped me out.

I'm almost 46 and have been picking for 40 years. Mine started at church, being bored, picking my upper arms. Moved to legs. Sun dries whatever is is up, but now, my arms are one giant scar. The upper arms are better but about 7-10 yrs ago, I went through some heavy stuff and destroyed my forearms. My mother thought I was doing heroin because I stopped wearing 3/4 length sleeves. I have picked that area, especially if I sweat. To this day I do ANYTHING I can do not to sweat. I take another shower if I need to. Don't look at them if you can help it. I know it sounds weird, but make your bosom your sanctuary. To this day, I never wear short sleeves outside of the house. I live in sunny California. Don't let it turn in 40 yrs. I think about it EVERY DAY. Especially if there is an ingrown hair. OMG. I have to put on a sweater and walk out of the room.

I do too. its so frustrating i cant stop!!! I tried it got better but i never really made it to the time where it just heals perfectly. i stop for a few month and then start again. i cant really wear anything i want because i am embarrassed. I cant even go to the beach. I know its the only reason that is stopping me from having clear skin... I spend hours just picking and picking. I tell myself to stop but i just do not! it makes me feel good. i dont really know why i do it, i regret it later on

I now realize that I have been a "picker" my whole life. I am 53 years old. I was oblivious to the picking until I developed Sebboreaic Dermatitis about 6 months ago. I was so grossed out by it, and picked my scalp and scratched it until I noticed thinning hair and hair loss. This has continued even though the Sebboreah is gone. After reading this forum, I realized that I have picked at various areas of my body most of my teenage and adult life. It started with zits and blackheads as a teen, progressed to bumps on my upper arms, bumps on my buttocks, and now my scalp. I made my husband buy me a $400 wig, I was convinced I would be bald but didn't attribute my picking to causing the problem. I still believed I had the Sebboreah. I have such empathy for all of you fellow pickers out there, we hide and suffer in silence for fear of rejection and embarrassment. I feel your pain and I am glad there is this forum for us to discuss our picking without feeling weird or judged.

I pick my breasts too. mercilessly! They and my scalp and bikini line are my worst areas. Iv been picking my boobs since i was about 13 (im 26 now) but i picked my arms long before that. So weird to read about so many of you feeling trance like. Iv never really been able to put my finger on the feeling when im doing it. Its like everything disappears and before you know it iv been picking for hours! So glad im not the only one!

You are definitely not alone!!! I will literally pick at wherever there is a bump...even if I cannot see it, it's very sad and yes, it makes me cry sometimes because it's like i'm an addict and want to quit, but where do you go to end such a crazy obsession ya know? I feel your pain. I'm trying to not pick for one month...if that works..maybe I can go for even longer. I'm crazy about getting in front of a mirror and going to town on myself...so I'm going to try to avoid the mirror unless it's for applying makeup or doing my hair...it's going to be hard for me so fingers crossed!!!