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Did anyone else have this done to them? Suggestions for understanding my problem?
My problems with this seem to be hereditary (nature? nurture?), since my parent picks and I gather my grandparent did, too, but when I was a kid, my parent actually picked at blemishes on me, and I believe my picking started after this. Is this the case for anyone else? Did someone very literally pick on you prior to taking on the behavior yourself? I think my grandparent may have done this to my parent, too. I was picked on physically and verbally.
Also, I was wondering if anyone has had any mental diagnosis based on that? I mean, in addition to, or aside from the picking, has anyone mentioned borderline, OCD or PTSD or anything? Just curious, since I'm trying to understand why I do this still and this seems to be attached to different anxious conditions/ diagnosis.
I have a difficult time catching myself before it begins and understanding what feelings surround the impulse, why I'm so driven to do it. Sometimes it seems more like being an animal in a cage constantly licking at itself out of fear, other times, it seems somehow relaxing, and yet other times, it seems like I have to do it to smooth things out and I feel like I'm fixing my appearance (even though it mostly doesn't work out that way and I know this). In the above cases, I'm obviously fearful, wired or anxious, even if I can't always identify the flavor and cause. Then, there are times, it happens completely automatically while I'm doing something else like watching TV and I won't even realize right away. I'm trying yet again to get some help for this, but it is hard to convey this to another person if I'm not clear on it myself, I guess. Does this make any sense? Hope so. Any suggestions or advice?
September 19, 2009
i know my mom still picks a very little bit, though I suppose one would consider it "normal" picking of the occasional blackhead on her nose. I do remember how she was very keen on popping any blackheads or zits I had in my ears, because i was a swimmer and often got ear infections and stuff. The first zit i ever popped was because she suggested it, and I've been addicted ever since. I'm not sure I had the same experience as you, but I know my mom definitely influenced my picking in one way or another.
September 20, 2009
"Sometimes it seems more like being an animal in a cage constantly licking at itself out of fear, other times, it seems somehow relaxing, and yet other times, it seems like I have to do it to smooth things out and I feel like I'm fixing my appearance (even though it mostly doesn't work out that way and I know this). In the above cases, I'm obviously fearful, wired or anxious, even if I can't always identify the flavor and cause. Then, there are times, it happens completely automatically while I'm doing something else like watching TV and I won't even realize right away."
That's exactly what it feels like.
September 22, 2009
My mom loved to pick at blemishes on me. Any meticulous activity like that, she enjoyed. She would pick at my face and arms until I got old enough to push her away. She also loved to clean my ears and even pick fleas off the dog. And the odd thing is, she openly enjoyed these activities, it wasn't just a nagging mother saying "let me get that for you. Also, I have ADHD, and I have muddled in other anxiety disorders (bulimia, trichotillomania). I tend to pick less when I'm really social. The problem is, if I pick once, I don't want to go out in public, so I'm less social, then I pick more, etc. It's a vicious cycle. But right now I'm on a pretty good pick free streak, so let's hope it lasts.
September 22, 2009
Hypnotism worked for me. I'm in (was) in the same boat as ya'll. Picked at my cuticles and surrounding skin since as long as I can remember for God only knows what reason. In my mid 20s I felt that it was impacting my life because I was embarrassed to shake hands or was thinking about not showing my hands rather than focusing on the people I was interacting with. I tried wearing gloves, holding pencils in each hand, putting nasty tasting stuff on my hands, etc. Finally I tried hypnotism. It took two tries. I looked up a specialist in the yellow pages and made an appointment. He said one session $75 (this was in 1992). He told me to relax and think of something nasty to associate with the skin picking (and nail biting too for me). I thought of a dead opossum I had to clean up once. So it worked for a couple of weeks until I injured a finger and had a great scab on it that I started picking at. So a few months later I tried a different hypnotist. He said it would take 6 sessions and $300. The essence of what happened was that he told me to relax, close my eyes, and that I have no longer have a need to bite my nails or pick my skin. I walked out of there thinking that I'm out $300. But it worked. Its beyond comprehension for me. But just the same as it's beyond the comprehension of my wife, or mother, or friends to understand what I was going through; totally unaware that I'm picking at my skin while watching TV, driving, reading, etc, much like being unaware of our own breathing or heart beating.
The hypnotist said that when we are very very relaxed then we can communicate with our subconscious minds. He thought that I must have had a need to pick when I was very young (I was picking since before 5 years old). The act of picking turned into a subconscious habit. But as an adult, the need to pick was now gone, but the habit is still there. So through hypnotism he was able to communicate with my subconscious and tell it that the habit is not necessary any more. For all the stuff I waste money on, this was some of the best money I ever spent.
I had looked into diet, body chemical imbalances, hereditary, but none of them seemed to characterize my condition.
There are books on self-hypnotism available. But I recommend finding a good professional to do the hypnosis and teach the self-hypnosis techniques. Its worth it to get it right. Then the self-hypnosis can be used for other applications in the future.
I wish everyone on the forum a speedy solution to their problem,
Mick