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Im a severe case, i need to get help - not sure where to do??
I'm relieved to find on the net lots of people like me who suffer this too.
Lately i've realised my habits have gotten out of control, i have lots of different ones...
- I pick my pimples, blackheads etc till they bleed or bruise.
- I pick my spit ends, break of the ends till it leaves a neater strand.
- I pull out curly/wirey hairs out of my head. I have straight hair and it gets to me when they arnt all the same. They reasemble "pubic hairs" and i either feel for them or look in a mirror. I have lots of these little hairs and lots of my normal hair goes too.
- I love to crack my knuckles all the time.
- I pick my nails, when they have inperfections. I even pick nail polish off.
- I used to pick my nose almost constantly as a child.
- I pick my husbands skin (pimples, his hair, look for greys etc), he doesn't mind and thinks its nice to get my undivided attention. But it encourages the habit on myself.
- I pick my cats, I search them for fleas, eggs and residue. I pick at their nails if they are spilt. They hate it, and sometimes i accidently hurt them :( I even check their beds to pick at that too). I get angry at them when they wont sit still, but i love them so much.
- I pull hairs out of my "down there" area.
- I pick my dry peeling skin If i've been sunburnt.
Its really starting to affect my life, its started as just picking my nose. And most of it is on my own body, its with me all the time! Different to a substance in the fact you have to obtain it first.
I hide a great deal of it. Like do it alone, tie my hair up so i cant do it at work, where make up to cover the bruises, flea treat the cats so they dont get any. But then other times i just dont care, i want to do it so much i dont care who's watching. And its become so much a part of my life that i dont realize im doing it. My husband taps me if im picking my hair in public, which is embarrasing. I can spend hours doing it, and daily and necessart tasks get forgotton about. My face is scarred, i cant wear my hair down, my cats are annoyed at me, i seem to get nothing done at home or work, i think about doing it all the time and its driving me insane. More and more im finding it hard to concentrate on anything, its destroying my life!
Im not sure what attracts me to it, i feel a "high" from removing an inperfection. I feel relieved by doing something im so comfortable doing, like a security blanket. I like the noise of a hair being pulled out, or a snapping of a split end - like a "pop" noise. I feel like my thinking is clearer and slower when im doing it, gives me time to contemplate. I make myself believe what i was doing was important. But now ive realised that my pimples look worse if i pick them, nobody looks close enough at my head to see a small curly hair or a split end etc. I have a reasonably happy life now, a bad childhood (mother died at 7, downhill from there) but i used to almost constantly pick my nose at 3 or 4, so i did it before all the bad stuff. I worry lots about people, future etc.
I try to stop, and i find myself doing it subconcioulsy - how do you stop?
Would love to hear from people who are/have gone through this too?
while i wrote this message i put my hand on my head at least 5 times to feel for curly hairs to pick out, before i realised what i was doing.
I feel so weak and powerless to stop it.
I literally joined this website just so I could comment on your post. I do the flea thing and most of the other stuff you said, but the stuff with my cat upsets me most because I feel like I'm hurting them.
its 2024, 15 years after this post, so you may not ever see this.
I have the same issue with my cats and their claws and i can't stop. i have been trying to stop for years. at some point in my past i would even hurt myself because i felt so guilty that i couldn't stop.
do you know if this still counts as a BFRB disorder or if its something else, because it's not focused on one's own body? i dont know where else i could get info about this because this post is the only thing on the entire internet that also documents it.
when i vented my symptoms to AI, as a sort of last resort, all it told me was that it was signs of BFRB, but it just didn't feel right. i dont know what is causing these compulsions and i can't find anything that matches what im experiencing. it's not driven by anxiety, pleasure or anything in between, it can't be OCD because i dont get intrusive thoughts or anxiety that compels me to do it, it's just a compulsion that i feel the urge to do every time i see my cat.