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Help me to stop picking
I am so glad that I have found this forum. I honestly thought I was the only one with this problem. I have picked my face as long as I can remember and it is now a mess with scabs & scars, but I just cannot stop picking& I can pick for hours. When I pick I have to use tweezers & not just on my face, anywhere there is an embedded hair or a stubborn scab or spot. This sounds gross but some time when I pick I get these what I call stalkers or plugs, they are plugs of skin that I have to dig at with a pin & then pull out with tweezers, the spot/scab then weeps & bleeds & leaves a hole in my face. I know I have done wrong but it just feels so good at the time. The weird thing is that I have to eat what ever comes out or I make a collection to see how many of these plugs I can get out & then eat them. I have been to the doctors so many times throughout my life (I am now 36) who have told me to take antibiotics & use acne creams which just do not work. The worst advice was that I needed a chemical peel so paid £600 to get a chemical peel done which was not a good idea as my face scabbed up & I just picked at it making it even worse. I have an appointment soon with the dermatologist but I don't think it will make a difference. My face is so scarred with pits & holes that I cannot look in the mirror, I feel repulsed with myself for getting this bad. I also have to pick out all the hairs from moles, cuticles & in growing hairs, I just get such satisfaction from seeing the embedded hair or puss come out, It makes me feel all the badness is coming out of me. I had a crappy childhood including abuse, mental, physical & sexual and as a child & adult I just feel worthless, this is my only relief as it makes me feel good at the time. I really want to stop but at the moment I just cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel :(
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